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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

But it turns out they may have been looking in the wrong place. Astronomers have uncovered possible new signs of life on venus. Its surface is hot enough to melt lead and its cloaked in clouds of toxic gas, but scientists now believe something could be alive on venus or, actually, just above it. Professor sara seager along with a team of International Scientists spotted a molecule called fos feign in the planets atmosphere using giant tell scopes. Finding phosphine leaves us with two equally crazy ideas, one is theres some unknown chemistry and the other is theres some possibility there might be some life producing phosphine on venus. Trevor wow, human beings are amazing. Just five months ago we found out how to properly wash our hands and now weve found extraterrestrial life. I think its super exciting theres life on venus because thats where the ladies are from. Oooh i cant wait to go to venus, a planet full of only women . Whoa hoa ill roll up there and be, like, ladies can you give

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Displefer day, before we turn to the serious stories, we like to look at the stories that put the us in coronavirus, in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. First up, thanks to this pandemic, government officials are highly strung. They have to keep people indoors, they have to keep hospitals running, and they have to take all their bribes over venmo, which is really tough, because you have to write in the memo what the money is for. Well, this week in kentucky, the governor was busy trying to stop unemployment scams, and in the process, he made an unlikely discovery. Unfortunately, its going to take a little bit of time on these, because a couple of bad apples can make this challenge that much more difficult. For instance, we had somebody apply for unemployment for tupac shakur here in kentucky. And that person probably thought they were being funny. I didnt know and its my fault that we have a

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

And that person probably thought they were being funny. I didnt know and its my fault that we have a kentuckian who goes by malik, whos name is tupac shakur. Trevor ooooh, yeah, that was that was a tough bon, really. Think about it. On the one hand, on the one hand, the governor should know that its possible for two people to have the same name. But on the other hand, if the person you share a name with is tupac shakur, at least throw in a middle initial so people dont get confused. Why do you think michael b. Jordan has the b . Its so no one is ever disappointed to see him. Oh, its you. Like, i have to assume that if your name is tupac shakur, this probably happens to you every single day of your life. Putting in your starbucks order, ordering a delivery, and good luck calling 911. tupac hello, 911. Please help me, ive just been shot. 911 okay, sir. Ill send help right away. Whats your name, sir . tupac tupac shakur. 911 very funny, sir. Well put out an a. P. B. , for the notorious b.

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Displefer day, before we turn to the serious stories, we like to look at the stories that put the us in coronavirus, in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. First up, thanks to this pandemic, government officials are highly strung. They have to keep people indoors, they have to keep hospitals running, and they have to take all their bribes over venmo, which is really tough, because you have to write in the memo what the money is for. Well, this week in kentucky, the governor was busy trying to stop unemployment scams, and in the process, he made an unlikely discovery. Unfortunately, its going to take a little bit of time on these, because a couple of bad apples can make this challenge that much more difficult. For instance, we had somebody apply for unemployment for tupac shakur here in kentucky. And that person probably thought they were bei

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Up in the house, especially when the weather is getting better, but heres your quarantine tip of the day, if youre feeling lonely in your apartment, just leave some food out on the floor and then when the rats show up, you can pretend youre cinderella. Tonights show, Vladimir Putin loses confidence. Dos and donts and President Trump tries out for the mad king. So lets get to it. From Trevor Noah Trevors couch to your couch . Sm where in the world, this is the daily show with Trevor Noah Trevor first, lets talk about a Major Development in the president ial race. After staying on the sidelines throughout the democratic primary, president Barack Hussein obama has now made an endorsement. Choosing joe to be my Vice President was one of the best decisions i ever made and that the why im so proud to endorse joe biden for the president of the United States. Trevor yes, my friends, barack obama has officially endorsed joe biden. Now, i know some people think its weird obama waited this long t

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