Which i believe is 75 cents extra, just look at what obama was pointing at. The mild salsa. That sends a signal to our enemies around the world that our president is weak. Ronald Wilson Reagan could chug an entire bottle of hobb their row, and two hours later hed be whistling the star spangle banner out of his flaming bumhole. Long may it wave. And we were so close to having a true commanderinbeef. Just look at this 2012 photo of mitt romney ordering at a chipotle. Thats how you order high hygienically, folks, polite distance, hands in pockets, wearing a condom, one imagines. I only bring this up because i believe in the american dream. When my great, great grandfather braved the atlantic crossing, he came here with the hope his new country would never be ruined by a bunch of filthy immigrants. Sadly once again america is awash in unwashed masses. This time theyre pouring across the long, skinny ocean to our south, the rio grand. In the southwest, a deepening crisis tonight involving t
Nation, president barack obama has been one big national disgrace. First it was the embarrassing mom jeans. Then there was the embarrassing mom blouse and the embarrassing mom hairdo. Of then there was the embarrassing realization they was looking at a photo of my mom. [laughter] thanks a lot, obama. Folks, his biggest blunder yet came at a recent visit to away ipotle. Take a look at this picture. See anything wrong with that . Oh, yeah. He actually sneezed over the sneeze guard. He reached over the sneeze guard. Thats just not cool. Stephen its more than just not cool. This proves that obama cares nothing about border security. [laughter and applause] and adding insult to guacamole, which i believe is 75 cents extra, just look at what obama was pointing at. The mild salsa. That sends a signal to our enemies around the world that our president is weak. Ronald Wilson Reagan could chug an entire bottle of hobb their row, and two hours later hed be whistling the star spangle banner out of
[cheering and applause] jon come on. How do you open with, hey, hows england doing after their world cup lost. What is bleep is wrong with me . And shes in a movie called begin again. It would have been the perfect segue to say, let me begin again because sometimes i suck at this. Well, ive only been doing it for 16 years. Ill learn. Thats our show. Here it is, your moment of zen. I know it is politically expedient these days to say that america should not apologize for its reputation around the world, but perhaps we can make an exception for americans who go to germany and get stuck in sculptures of captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] stephen welcome to the report. Good to have you with us, ladies and gentlemen. [audience chanting stephen] thats it. Hit their mark right away. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. [cheering and applause] t
That sends a signal to our enemies around the world that our president is weak. Ronald Wilson Reagan could chug an entire bottle of hobb their row, and two hours later hed be whistling the star spangle banner out of his flaming bumhole. Long may it wave. And we were so close to having a true commanderinbeef. Just look at this 2012 photo of mitt romney ordering at a chipotle. Thats how you order high hygienically, folks, polite distance, hands in pockets, wearing a condom, one imagines. I only bring this up because i believe in the american dream. When my great, great grandfather braved the atlantic crossing, he came here with the hope his new country would never be ruined by a bunch of filthy immigrants. Sadly once again america is awash in unwashed masses. This time theyre pouring across the long, skinny ocean to our south, the rio grand. In the southwest, a deepening crisis tonight involving thousands of children from Central America who have been crossing into this country alone. Ma
Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] stephen welcome to the report. Good to have you with us, ladies and gentlemen. [audience chanting stephen] thats it. Hit their mark right away. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. [cheering and applause] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. With an open like that. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I will try to live up to the adulation you just gave me. Nation, president barack obama has been one big national disgrace. First it was the embarrassing mom jeans. Then there was the embarrassing mom blouse and the embarrassing mom hairdo. Of then there was the embarrassing realization they was looking at a photo of my mom. [laughter] thanks a lot, obama. Folks, his biggest blunder yet came at a recent visit to away chipotle. Take a look at this picture. See anything wrong with that . Oh, yeah. He actually sneezed over the sneeze guard. He reached over the sneeze guard. Thats just not cool. Stephen its more