Supporters and this is cool, every single one of them watched it [ laughter ] senator Bernie Sanders today denied reports that he privately told Elizabeth Warren in 2018 that a female candidate is incapable of defeating President Trump. And in bernies defense, even if he said it privately, we would have heard him [ laughter ] his whisper is everyone elses id like to speak to the manager. [ laughter ] President Trump this morning retweeted a doctored photo showing democratic leaders, Chuck Schumer and nancy pelosi, wearing a turban and a hijab and to get him back, they posted a doctored photo of trump wearing a suit that fits [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause thats not me i swear to god, thats not me. Supreme court chief Justice John Roberts will be brought in to oversee President Trumps impeachment trial. Though experts say he will not have significant authority over the proceedings. Meanwhile, back at the supreme court, Justice Kavanaugh said, the boss is gone, bitches [ l
[ cheers and applause lets see. What do we got going on . A new star wars movie came out to mixed reviews everybodys talking about the musical cats. And a president who is facing impeachment Just Launched a bombing run in iraq. You know what, actually, lets hold on a second yeah, thats what im talking about [ cheers and applause thats where were at. President trump yesterday dismissed concerns that iran might retaliate for his strike on a military leader, saying quote, if it happens, it happens. [ light laughter ] wow, youre talking about the possibility of world war iii and you sound like Courteney Cox talking about a friends reunion. [ laughter ] look, if they want to do it, ill show up [ light laughter ] a missouri pastor is facing six months in prison after allegedly asking for sexual favors from men on the dating app grindr in exchange for an arbys gift card [ laughter ] which is ironic since grindrs slogan is also, we have the meats. [ laughter ] [ applause ] a 600pound tuna was
[ light laughter ] President Trump met with the russian minister of Foreign Affairs on the same day hes being impeached. That is brazen naming it the missing wife. [ laughter ] wheel of fortune sidekick vanna white this week started a threeweek run as fillin host and let me tell you, it is chaos in the nursing home. [ light laughter ] what is she doing wheres pat . [ light laughter ] President Trumps campaign has released a line of lgbtq pride themed merchandise and then mike pence squinted so hard, his eyes healed over kfc announced last week that it will begin selling a fireplace log that smells like fried chicken. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] perfect if youve ever wondered what your dog would look like on fire [ laughter and applause according to a new report, liam was the most popular baby name for boys this year tied for last, lev and igor. [ light laughter ] a man in asia recently proposed to a silicone sex doll but if you ask me, hes just using her. [ light laughter ] a n
Donated 1 million to trumps inaugural committee. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, half the country now believes President Trump should be impeached and removed from office unfortunately, the other half believes that Hillary Clinton should [ laughter ] according to sources, President Trump has put his soninlaw, jared kushner, in charge of overseeing border wall construction and thats smart, because if he cant squeeze between those bars, nobody can [ laughter ] First Lady Melania Trump spoke to a group of students today in baltimore about the dangers of drugs. Lets just say, they either hate her or love drugs. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] if she asks, thats just how americans say we love you. [ laughter ] according to reports, billionaire president ial hopeful Mike Bloomberg has already spent 37 million on television ads. Of course, if tv ads were all you needed, this would be our president. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according to reports, raccoonrelated delays on new york
During his testimony today Gordon Sondland said that he was involved in efforts to pressure ukraine, because he and other diplomats, quote, followed the president s orders. And then trump said, look, i dont know the president ive never met the president. [ laughter ] President Trump this morning addressed sondlands testimony saying, quote, i dont know him very well. I have not spoken to him much. This is not a man i know well. He seems like a nice guy, though. [ laughter ] even worse, he stole that statement line for line from the speech he gave at erics wedding. [ laughter ] singer mariah carey has released her own Christmas Wish list on amazon oh, oh okay so i see so you were just blowing smoke up my ass when you said all you wanted for christmas is me [ laughter and applause great. Good to know [ laughter ] according to experts, thanksgiving turkeys are best paired with red wine that way theyre more relaxed when you kill them [ laughter ] their first trial of a male rt and if you pu