i was arrested at age 21 for a second degree murder. and i ve been incarcerated ever since. i was so young, i just felt like you know what, my life is over. i ve got a life sentence. it s over. i came to prison and started into the same behavior. i was like for the first nine years, i was using whatever i could, drugs, prison alcohol. just trying to do anything that i could to escape the reality of my situation and what i had done. you know. and that just self-medicating, again, the same way i was on the street. all the pain, everything that came up for me, that was my solution, to self-medicate. and that s what i did. in his struggle to conquer addiction, rusty discovered a passion for counseling others. i ve been in 12-step programs
give him 15 to life for taking another life but never consider the fact that he wasn t right a cold-blooded murderer that only think of himself don t know nothing else and all he seeing is death and killing so what the hell all he seeing was kicking my until one day i got so tired i stab my new dad my new father wasn t right he used to do the same thing beat every night until the ultimatum down the hall knocking down every picture and mirror on the wall a bunch of bes and hos and out the door never saw him no more until i got older finally answered the phone there i was listening to his voice it wouldn t close now i m frustrated and hated him even more now the hate tread is so bad my heart is cold i don t want to see you no more
court and they re telling me i m not going to be tried as a juvenile, they re going to sentence me to life in prison, when the man told me that, he said are you a cold-blooded murderer and we want you to rot in prison. i m sentencing to you life in innocence prison and he slammed down his little hammer and my mom screamed. imagine how that felt. how would your mom feel? this is what it took to get them to us. it took me to come to prison. it took shahib to realize there s more value in society and life than committing crime. with the knowledge they may never leaf san quentin, the squires hope to never see these boys restrained by a security level. it s like i don t want to come over here. not a good place to be. overall, today was really, really good. i felt like i made a difference today. due to mature subject
gear. this is your polo. this is your nice 501 jeans, you guys. this is what you guys sell yourself for. who speaks spanish here? can you read that? [ speaking spanish ] what does that mean? something about sexual assault. sexual assault. they warning you about sexual assault in prison, how to protect yourself against it. the inmates are in essence the deterrent that will guide these youth back to a life of contributing to society. this is the building we live in, north block. and this building they have little small cells that are 9 x 4, nine feet tall, four feet wide. that s smaller than a walk-in
and i ve been incarcerated ever since. i was so young, i just felt like you know what, my life is over. i ve got a life sentence. it s over. i came to prison and started into the same behavior. i was like for the first nine years, i was using whatever i could, drugs, prison alcohol. just trying to do anything that i could to escape the reality of my situation and what i had done. you know. and that just self-medicating, again, the same way i was on the street. all the pain, everything that came up for me, that was my solution, to self-medicate. and that s what i did. in his struggle to conquer addiction, rusty discovered a passion for counseling others. i ve been in 12-step programs for, oh, geez probably about 18 years now, 19 years. but the current program i m in,