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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140514

The st. Louis rams select michael sam defensive end. Michael sam drafted by the st. Louis rams becoming the first openly gay player ever drafted. Stephen first openly gay player, important distinction because i think weve all had our questions about the Dallas Cowboys mascot rowdy. Me thinks he dote proteeth tap much. And michael sams war on traditional gridiron values started as soon as he got the phone call. This is the moment where michael sam got the news that he is going to be a member of the st. Louis rams. There you see the raw emotion. laughter Stephen Holding unnecessary tenderness. Folks this is just wrong. In the nfl sexuality is supposed to take place off camera. And the fans should only find out about it when the charges are filed. Folk, im up set and im not the only one. Jones of the doll fines tweeted ong and horrible. Former super bowl champion tweeted quote im sorry but that michael sam is no bueno for doing that on national tv. Man you, you got little kids look he dra

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130918

About. But over the weekend the wings of war shifted dramatically. Secretary of state john kerry and russia top diplomats could end syria weapons program. They sealed a deal in geneva one that could leave syria with no chemical weapons by the end of next year. We i condition believe it we pulled it we managed not to have a war withson somebody . I done you dont get a war. And you dont get a war you dont get a war everybody doesnt get a war you dont get a war. Wait, you seem up set about not getting a war. Ill get one. Ill get a war laughter so we get to take assads chemical weapons. We dont have to kill anyone. And we did it all just by the talky talk. There is only one way to describe that. It Means Nothing so that is a debacle. laughter stephen this is a debacle. I have not seen a disaster such as this since i arrived at the beauregard cotillion with a magnolia in my hair when everyone else was wearing orchids. I mean talk about a debacle laughter graham why cant you take no war for

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140513

I know i did. Folks, what an incredible and exciting weekend. I done know if you had time to do this, i dont know thanks. Folks, i dont know if you had time to catch up on your this weekend. I hope did you because if you did, folks, if you managed to watch some tv this weekend, i hope you caught up on the nfl draft. Because itsed only place these days you can still see College Graduates getting jobs. As always the big story was which player would be the number one pick. Or of the last 8 picks of the 7th round. In the 2014 nfl draft, the st. Louis rams select michael sam defensive end. Michael sam drafted by the st. Louis rams becoming the first openly gay player ever drafted. Stephen first openly gay player, important distinction because i think weve all had our questions about the Dallas Cowboys mascot rowdy. Me thinks he dote proteeth tap much. And michael sams war on traditional gridiron values started as soon as he got the phone call. This is the moment where michael sam got the ne

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140520

Caught up on the nfl draft. Because itsed only place these days you can still see College Graduates getting jobs. As always the big story was which player would be the number one pick. Or of the last 8 picks of the 7th round. In the 2014 nfl draft, the st. Louis rams select michael sam defensive end. Michael sam drafted by the st. Louis rams becoming the first openly gay player ever drafted. Stephen first openly gay player, important distinction because i think weve all had our questions about the Dallas Cowboys mascot rowdy. Me thinks he dote proteeth tap much. And michael sams war on traditional gridiron values started as soon as he got the phone call. This is the moment where michael sam got the news that he is going to be a member of the st. Louis rams. There you see the raw emotion. laughter Stephen Holding unnecessary tenderness. Folks this is just wrong. In the nfl sexuality is supposed to take place off camera. And the fans should only find out about it when the charges are fil

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130917

Week seven seven days it seemed the only way that these United States might avoid war with syria was through our usual semantic shenanigans. We would bomb them but we would call it a freedom play date. You know what im talking about. But over the weekend the wings of war shifted dramatically. Secretary of state john kerry and russia top diplomats could end syria weapons program. They sealed a deal in geneva one that could leave syria with no chemical weapons by the end of next year. We i condition believe it we pulled it we managed not to have a war withson somebody . I done you dont get a war. And you dont get a war you dont get a war everybody doesnt get a war you dont get a war. Wait, you seem up set about not getting a war. Ill get one. Ill get a war laughter so we get to take assads chemical weapons. We dont have to kill anyone. And we did it all just by the talky talk. There is only one way to describe that. It Means Nothing so that is a debacle. laughter stephen this is a debacl

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