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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140513

Nation, i hope you had a good weekend. I know i did. Folks, what an incredible and exciting weekend. I done know if you had time to do this, i dont know thanks. Folks, i dont know if you had time to catch up on your this weekend. I hope did you because if you did, folks, if you managed to watch some tv this weekend, i hope you caught up on the nfl draft. Because itsed only place these days you can still see College Graduates getting jobs. As always the big story was which player would be the number one pick. Or of the last 8 picks of the 7th round. In the 2014 nfl draft, the st. Louis rams select michael sam defensive end. Michael sam drafted by the st. Louis rams becoming the first openly gay player ever drafted. Stephen first openly gay player, important distinction because i think weve all had our questions about the Dallas Cowboys mascot rowdy. Me thinks he dote proteeth tap much. And michael sams war on traditional gridiron values started as soon as he got the phone call. This is

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130923

12. My guest tonight is robert riche. Lets turn overseas. A week ago just one week seven seven days it seemed the only way that these United States might avoid war with syria was through our usual semantic shenanigans. We would bomb them but we would call it a freedom play date. You know what im talking about. But over the weekend the wings of war shifted dramatically. Secretary of state john kerry and russia top diplomats could end syria weapons program. They sealed a deal in geneva one that could leave syria with no chemical weapons by the end of next year. We i condition believe it we pulled it we managed not to have a war withson somebody . I done you dont get a war. And you dont get a war you dont get a war everybody doesnt get a war you dont get a war. Wait, you seem up set about not getting a war. Ill get one. Ill get a war laughter so we get to take assads chemical weapons. We dont have to kill anyone. And we did it all just by the talky talk. There is only one way to describe

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