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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

The president clearly asked a foreign power to dig up dirt on a political opponent in exchange for military aid. audience gasps why does that surprise you . It matches up exactly with the president s transcript. Should i dance now . Now stay tuned for disguised and afraid. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, talkin turkey and the Democratic Candidates answer just one question. Plus, stephen welcomes jonathan van ness and brett gelman featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hi so glad youre here hey thanks everybody. Please, have a seat. Thank you very much. cheers and applause thank you please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause i dont i dont think im telling any tells out of school here when i say that donald trump is in trouble. But this time its double trouble thanks t

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

Jimmy fallon and now, here he is. Jimmy fallon [ applause ] [cheers and applause hey hey hey hey hello welcome thanks everybody oh, thank you very much. Welcome everybody. Thank you very much. Welcome. Please, please have a seat welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show everybody. Robert de niro is my guest tonight. [cheers and applause i called de niro back stage and i was like, youre on the show its good. Its good. Youre on the show he said keep doing that and i wont berobert stars in the new movie the irishman with al pacino and joe pesci a little strange to hear those three guys in a movie called the irishman. Like a movie starring liam neeson and Pierce Brosnan called the italian. The third night in a row we are coming to you live everybody [cheers and applause dont worry. Dont worry. If you missed anything we have a white house staffer back stage typing up a transcript so the big gnaws today trump released the transcript of his phone call with the president of ukraine. It sta

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

Body to egypt. You will never have to sit next to a baby on an airplane again. And trump is getting impeached. cheers and applause a lot of trump fans in the audience. Lets catch up on todays headlines. First up, some exciting news from the world of history and art. New Yorks Metropolitan Museum of art has sent a stolen antique back home. The met returned the golden coffin of an egyptian priest. It was smuggled out of egypt after the revolution in 2011. The coffin dates back 2,000 years and forged documents were used to sell it. Trevor the metropolitan had a gold coffin smuggled out of egypt. It was smuggled in someones ass. Not easy. laughter but they used forged documents, how should we have known this 2,000yearold coffin belongs in egypt . How does someone fool you . See, ive got the receipt when i see this image, i think why dont we bury people like this anymore . Not the gold part. Just like painting face on the coffin. I think thats cool. I want to be buried like that. Because wh

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

But, chef, when is the right age for us to start having sex . Its very simple, children. The right time to start having sex is. 17. 17 . 17. So you mean 17, as long as youre in love . Nope, just 17. But what if youre not ready at 17 . 17, youre ready. Well, i guess we got a while to wait before we worry about sex and diseases, huh, wendy . Yeah, thank god. Well, i guess now that thats out of the way, we can get on with our lives. Come here, boy. Thats it, red rocket, red rocket, come on, yeah. Come on, red rocket, dog. Red rocket now. Okay, children, so what other sexual positions did we talk about . Yeah, the wraparound butt grab. Sure, cant forget that. Uhhuh, reverse cowgirl. Good, kevin. Hot lunch . Yeah, she likes that. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out wow lets do it lets make a show im trevor noa

Transcripts For ALJAZ Invisible Threat 20240714

Tench were typhoon nidia the strength running up the east coast of china produce a grain i think into shanghai but not so wind direction off witnesses sort of thing that prompts the northeast monsoon to take over so humidity is dropping the temperatures not yet with it so that you are in hong kong about 13 will hung but his strong if the most part the rain further west has been showing itself as the monsoon rains typically should be the south response in this is should be disappearing but youve got a load of rain up in bhutan northeast and india and the Tibetan Plateau where of course its cold enough for snow the general rain belt is moving south was now we see the potential there weve seen realize flooding in cambodia in taiwan the potential still exists because thats where the line is that does also mean youve got a little while to wait before the dry season ends in indonesia or indeed mushroom allays you could sing like a shower to singapore might get a shower too but its not really

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