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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150408

But we begin with recent very Exciting International diplomacy news. A breakthrough deal to limit Irans Nuclear program. The deal between iran, United States and five other countries. Boom. Actually not boom. Not boom. Not boom something happened without the deal came at the end of an exciting week that began with top diplomats pulling red bull fueled all nighters and ended with the iranian kid and play dancing in the streets and they werent persian youths inspired by the breakthrough. The unprecedented move, ordinary iranians. Many marked the moments by taking selfies with their television. You know, our cultures, our cultures are not so different. Actually i got caught doing the same thing watching naked and afraid. Oh, you can see my third mickey mouse ear shaped nickel in the middle of i just thought i would point that out. So iranians are excited because any nuclear deal would involve lifting the International Sanctions crippling their economy. But what are they actually giving up

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150520

Actually not boom. Not boom. Not boom something happened without the deal came at the end of an exciting week that began with top diplomats pulling red bull fueled all nighters and ended with the iranian kid and play dancing in the streets and they werent persian youths inspired by the breakthrough. The unprecedented move, ordinary iranians. Many marked the moments by taking selfies with their television. You know, our cultures, our cultures are not so different. Actually i got caught doing the same thing watching naked and afraid. Oh, you can see my third mickey mouse ear shaped nickel in the middle of i just thought i would point that out. So iranians are excited because any nuclear deal would involve lifting the International Sanctions crippling their economy. But what are they actually giving up in exchange . It requires iran not to enrich uranium to reduce the centrifuges from 19,000 to 6,000. Dismantle a plutonium reactor, which is another path to the bomb. And calls for strict u

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150413

Artisanly. Our guest tonight Peter Dinklage from the game of thrones the game involving thrones. But we begin with recent very Exciting International diplomacy news. A breakthrough deal to limit Irans Nuclear program. The deal between iran, United States and five other countries. Boom. Actually not boom. Not boom. Not boom something happened without the deal came at the end of an exciting week that began with top diplomats pulling red bull fueled all nighters and ended with the iranian kid and play dancing in the streets and they werent persian youths inspired by the breakthrough. The unprecedented move, ordinary iranians. Many marked the moments by taking selfies with their television. You know, our cultures, our cultures are not so different. Actually i got caught doing the same thing watching naked and afraid. Oh, you can see my third mickey mouse ear shaped nickel in the middle of i just thought i would point that out. So iranians are excited because any nuclear deal would involve

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150519

Giving up in exchange . It requires iran not to enrich uranium to reduce the centrifuges from 19,000 to 6,000. Dismantle a plutonium reactor, which is another path to the bomb. And calls for strict u. N. Inspections. And iran will also downgrade its official statement of belligerence from death to america to hemorrhoids and bunions to america. The final step, opening their, opening their facilities to inspectors, delaying production for a decade. This is a big deal. There is no deal. There is no deal . In the this is a detailed framework for future negotiations, not a done deal. Really . Because i believed the 80point font graphic next to your head would beg to differ. Generally when one stands next to a Historic Nuclear Deal sign, it is in reference to a Historic Nuclear Deal not some other oh you changed it. Okay. Touche. Okay. Wait. Wait, if this isnt a done deal what level of deal doneness is it at . It is sort of like you signed a contract to purchase a home, but you still have go

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150414

Noticed we were on vacation last week. Big changes happened while we were gone. We got a new table. Do you guys like it new table. Very nice. Before we get to tonights top story, though, lets check in with our big march madness contest. Larry wilmore march madness 2015 it is. Hey, everybody, it is strictly boner time right now, the situation is intense, all right . You guys know what i am talking about. Tonight, the game between duke and wisconsin by the way, i want to personally thank wisconsin for beating kentucky, okay . [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you very much. I did not want to get baby birded. All right . Mmm mmm, mmm, mmm. Actually, it doesnt look that bad, actually. Now if wisconsin wins tonightly host the show in a suit of armor, okay . And if duke wins i will host in spandex. Oh, no are you kidding me . No, no, no no. Either way i am paying off the bet this thursday. Okay . So you will definitely want to tune in. Thursday night thats when i am paying off. Let me

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