The patel lochlt for short. This is how were fighting the coronavirus. Lets get this going. Lets have this go across america from knee to shining knee. Or if thats i have another one weve been working on too. It goes like this. Its called the hellobo. Thank you, guillermo. While everyone else is sitting around paying 80 fire 45cent mask were coming up with ways to stop this thing. I had an interesting revelation this weekend. I was hanging out with the kids my kids this weekend. Not just random kids at the park. [ laughter ] my son billy is 2, my daughters 5. I dont know what exactly prompted this but while we were playing it occurred to me that jane, my daughter jane is a lot like donald trump. I mean, they have shes totally selfcentered. The world as she sees it revolves around her. She wants everything. You take her to target, forget about it. She gives nothing to charity. And even when she does give something to someone else you have to make a big show of complimenting her. Oh, you
Zoey deutch, [ cheers and applause musical guest Justin Bieber featuring quavo, and the legendary roots crew jimmy our next guest is a great actor who you know from questlove 1210 set it up and the politician. She stars in the new movie buffaloed which is now playing in theaters and on steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon demand grand now we have to deal withed us this. Rs. Everyone, please welcome zoey deutch. Climate change is an emergency. Thats why i wrote the nations [ cheers and applause most progressive climate law. [ cheers and applause and thats why im endorsing tom steyer. Because when big oil tried to stop our clean air laws, he led us to victory. Same with the keystone pipeline. When tom says we can save the world and do it together [ cheers and applause believe him. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome, welcome, welcome. [ audience aws ] jimmy oh, my goodness. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Happy valentines day that is a
Day. More than 17 million americans were expected to call in sick to work today. Which i get it. I overdid it too. I had so much to eat and drink yesterday, i started to hallucinate. I woke up on my couch, i dont know what time it was, but i woke up and i imagined i saw lil wayne dressed as a robot. Weird, right . Anyway. [ cheers and applause ] i will say this. The best part of the super bowl for me this year was knowing that matt damon spent the day sobbing into his tom brady [ laughter ] it was a good game, a fun game to watch. The Kansas City Chiefs as you know came back from a tenpoint deficit in the Fourth Quarter to beat the 49ers and win their first title in 50 years, which to put that in perspective the last time the chiefs won the super bowl the jackson 5 had their first number one hit. True. Marcus welby was the most popular show on tv. And Bernie Sanders had just had his first great greatgrandchild. [ laughter ] its exciting. Because hes old, guillermo. Guillermo i know. Ji
The dark cloud has been lifted off my family name because, with the shortage of hand sanitizer, you can now reach for everclear thats right. Its 190 proof, so super effective against germs and consciousness. Just rub it on your hands, then dont let your hands drive. Everclear, its good for ya now. cheers and applause announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, klobachow. Plus stephen welcomes ty burrell, John Heilemann and musical guest james taylor, urte and stay t ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen whoo hey youre looking good cheers and applause yeah. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen welcome to the late show, one and all i am your host Stephen Colbert. The world cheers and applause i love the energy in this room. I love the positive energy in this room because out there the world is on edge over an International Emergency that threatens those who we hold most dear because oprah fell down laughter it is truly the end tim
And walked off stage [ laughter ] despite President Trump claiming that athletes and protesters have disrespected the national anthem, video surfaced from trumps Super Bowl Party showing him fidgeting, pointing and pretending to conduct an orchestra during the song. Take a look. And the rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air [ laughter ] seth oh my god, youre the leader of the free world and you look like a 5yearold kid an hour into a catholic mass [ laughter ] do you have to [ applause ] i mean, seriously, do you have to pee or something . Well, you should have thought of that before you went insane. [ laughter ] the New Hampshire primary is now a week away, which means were only a few short months from finding out who won iowa [ laughter and applause multiple districts in iowa had to settle ties at last nights caucus by coin flip. People still use those things . Said Michael Bloomberg [ laughter and applause former new york mayor Mike Bloomberg today announced he is doubling his