Body to egypt. You will never have to sit next to a baby on an airplane again. And trump is getting impeached. cheers and applause a lot of trump fans in the audience. Lets catch up on todays headlines. First up, some exciting news from the world of history and art. New Yorks Metropolitan Museum of art has sent a stolen antique back home. The met returned the golden coffin of an egyptian priest. It was smuggled out of egypt after the revolution in 2011. The coffin dates back 2,000 years and forged documents were used to sell it. Trevor the metropolitan had a gold coffin smuggled out of egypt. It was smuggled in someones ass. Not easy. laughter but they used forged documents, how should we have known this 2,000yearold coffin belongs in egypt . How does someone fool you . See, ive got the receipt when i see this image, i think why dont we bury people like this anymore . Not the gold part. Just like painting face on the coffin. I think thats cool. I want to be buried like that. Because wh
But, chef, when is the right age for us to start having sex . Its very simple, children. The right time to start having sex is. 17. 17 . 17. So you mean 17, as long as youre in love . Nope, just 17. But what if youre not ready at 17 . 17, youre ready. Well, i guess we got a while to wait before we worry about sex and diseases, huh, wendy . Yeah, thank god. Well, i guess now that thats out of the way, we can get on with our lives. Come here, boy. Thats it, red rocket, red rocket, come on, yeah. Come on, red rocket, dog. Red rocket now. Okay, children, so what other sexual positions did we talk about . Yeah, the wraparound butt grab. Sure, cant forget that. Uhhuh, reverse cowgirl. Good, kevin. Hot lunch . Yeah, she likes that. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out wow lets do it lets make a show im trevor noa
McLean, Virginia
THE PRESIDENT: It’s an honor to be here. I guess you all are the ones that lost the lottery, huh? (Laughter.) You had to be here in person.
Well, I’d like to thank Director Haines and Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, Christy Abizaid, for showing me around the watch floor.
Folks, the main reason I came and I mean this sincerely is to say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. The American people, almost by definition, are not able to know what you do. And you devote so much of your time, your effort, and many of you end up risking your lives in the Intelligence Community to do things to make sure that your families and people back here are safe make a difference.