Who would have sex with older men and told them to meet me here. My plan worked perffctly [car horns honking] [tires screeching] haha. [all cheering] whoa. Hey, i brought you some wendys. Yeah, yeah, go on in, theres a hot tub inside. Stupid shit score oh, no, its chris hansen [gunshot] [murmuring] what the hell is going on . Wait a minute oh, god, its chris hansen [gunshot] chris hansen [gunshot] dateline . [gunshot] i knew it [gunshot] there arent really brownies . [gunshotss. Hey do you have something to do with this . . , answer me stupid shit, cock what . Nobody talks to me like that why dont you take a seat . Take a seat right over there. Suck it assholelicker dick fart why you little ill tell on you wow, youre the coolest kid in the world. If i could call chris hannen an assholelicking dick fart to his face, i would be so happy. You would . Can i just like hang out with you sometimes . Like do your laundry maybe . Take a look, fat ass i beat you you arent going on dateline. What
Or masturbation. Did you know steve jobs invented that in 1981 . laughter called it laughter all right, here we go. I believe he called it the backintosh. cheers and applause anyhow, what im trying to say is americans like freedom. We dont like being told what to do, whether by a king or the government. Thats why things like seat belt laws or having to get rid of slaves was met with so much resistance. And guess what, now theyre coming for your health care. Obamacare will change your health care. And you need to understand how. Some business kos get hit with a 40 additional tax on your healthcare plan. Please get the obamacare Survival Guide today. laughter jon thank you, dr. Kevin mccullough kevorkian look alike who i thought was dead. Listen, its clear from this guys tone that obamacare will destroy all that we once held dear in this country, by requiring Health Insurance from employers for the 15 of americans who dont currently get that. If you have more than 50 employees, the act r
The 15 of americans who dont currently get that. If you have more than 50 employees, the act requires companies to give health care to all their fulltime workers or pay a penalty. No way around it. Or maybe theres two ways around it. Chuck, replay that airtight obamacare requirement that i just mentioned. The act requires companies to give health care to all their fulltime workers or pay a penalty. laughter i dont remember wearing a yachting cap when i said that. Anyway, theres an out for employers. They can pay a penalty which amounts to 2,000 per employee. Now that sounds like a lot of money so you compare it to how much it currently cost employers to insurance their workers which is b i dont know, 10,000 for employee. So if your corporation you could do the right thing, the moral thing, spend about 10,000 to give your employees Health Insurance or save about 8 grand and tell your employees to go [bleep] what do you think. What if i dont want to spend any money at all. Well, thats wh
Lets begin tonight on the subject of the american spirit. We are a cando people. With pioneering spirit, individually. Well, at least our great, great grandparents were. But they didnt have to contend with all the distractions we do like tv or masturbation. Did you know steve jobs invented that in 1981 . laughter called it laughter all right, here we go. I believe he called it the backintosh. cheers and applause anyhow, what im trying to say is americans like freedom. We dont like being told what to do, whether by a king or the government. Thats why things like seat belt laws or having to get rid of slaves was met with so much resistance. And guess what, now theyre coming for your health care. Obamacare will change your health care. And you need to understand how. Some business kos get hit with a 40 additional tax on your healthcare plan. Please get the obamacare Survival Guide today. laughter jon thank you, dr. Kevin mccullough kevorkian look alike who i thought was dead. Listen, its
Home is wherever we are cheers and applause stephen jack johnson from here to now to you. Good night, everybody. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Weve got a program for you tonight that we worked on almost all day. Our guest tonight chelsea clinton, the daughter, of course, the same musician George Clinton wine me up. laughter lets begin tonight on the subject of the american spirit. We are a cando people. With pioneering spirit, individually. Well, at least our great, great grandparents were. But they didnt have to contend with all the distractions we do like tv or masturbation. Did you know steve jobs invented that in 1981 . laughter called it laughter all right, here we go. I believe he called it the backintosh. cheers and applause anyhow, what im trying to say is americans like freedom. We dont like being told what to do, whether by a king or