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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240713

What . Nobody talks to me like that why dont you take a seat . Take a seat right over there. Suck it assholelicker dick fart why you little ill tell on you wow, youre the coolest kid in the world. If i could call chris hannen an assholelicking dick fart to his face, i would be so happy. You would . Can i just like hang out with you sometimes . Like do your laundry maybe . Take a look, fat ass i beat you you arent going on dateline. What do you have to say now . Oh,thank you. Thank you, kyle what . I asked god to send someone to help me, and you came, kyle i love you, man no, i beat you you totally saved my ass, kyle you must really care about me. I gotta get to a psychiatrist and learn to control whht i say. I got a Golden Ticket thanks to kyle i got a golden twinkle in my eye aw, shit aw, shit captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily s

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130924

Who would have sex with older men and told them to meet me here. My plan worked perffctly [car horns honking] [tires screeching] haha. [all cheering] whoa. Hey, i brought you some wendys. Yeah, yeah, go on in, theres a hot tub inside. Stupid shit score oh, no, its chris hansen [gunshot] [murmuring] what the hell is going on . Wait a minute oh, god, its chris hansen [gunshot] chris hansen [gunshot] dateline . [gunshot] i knew it [gunshot] there arent really brownies . [gunshotss. Hey do you have something to do with this . . , answer me stupid shit, cock what . Nobody talks to me like that why dont you take a seat . Take a seat right over there. Suck it assholelicker dick fart why you little ill tell on you wow, youre the coolest kid in the world. If i could call chris hannen an assholelicking dick fart to his face, i would be so happy. You would . Can i just like hang out with you sometimes . Like do your laundry maybe . Take a look, fat ass i beat you you arent going on dateline. What

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20121218

Kyle . Surprise, fat ass kyle, what are you doing . I went online posing as a boy who would have sex with older men and told them to meet me here. My plan worked perffctly [car horns honking] [tires screeching] haha. [all cheering] whoa. Hey, i brought you some wendys. Yeah, yeah, go on in, theres a hot tub inside. Stupid shit score oh, no, its chris hansen [gunshot] [murmuring] what the hell is going on . Wait a minute oh, god, its chris hansen [gunshot] chris hansen [gunshot] dateline . [gunshot] i knew it [gunshot] there arent really brownies . [gunshotss. Hey do you have something to do with this . . , answer me stupid shit, cock what . Nobody talks to me like that why dont you take a seat . Take a seat right over there. Suck it assholelicker dick fart why you little ill tell on you wow, youre the coolest kid in the world. If i could call chris hannen an assholelicking dick fart to his face, i would be so happy. You would . Can i just like hang out with you sometimes . Like do your

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