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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

To endorse any service or product or enterprise. Trevor that news is shocking. There are still ethics laws . I just assumed after trump became president the ostles of ethics violations got converted into a Storage Office for kfc buckets. Clearly they are prob hea like the contractors ef jea epsteins house, so you want a cage in the middle of your living room, okay, oh t is to worship sattal satan, okay, i will get a quote to you asap, in the face of ethics complaints donald trump responded by doing an even more elaborate goya ad of his own. Yes, yesterday the president released a photo of himself promoting a line of goya products from the oval office. I mean im glad the president is using his desk for probably the first time in months but come on, you have to admit, this is pretty embarrassing. He doesnt look like a president , he looks like a local athlete who retired 15 years ago and is desperate for money. This looks like the end of the shining if the movie was sponsored by bodeeing

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Owner always at home in the same clothes. And then, like clockwork, even though i dont know how clocks work, the same terrifying sky fire. Honey, did you hear about these new geico savings . Is there no way to distract mom . Myself from this endless loop of youll get an extra 15 sky fire and sweat pants . On top of what geico could already save you. Can i call you back . Your fathers been researching our geneology. I got it were vikings theres never been a better time to save with geico. Oh, yeah, theyre definitely switch by october seventh for an extra 15 not allowed to be up on that bed. Announcer its a late show on car and motorcycle insurance. With Stephen Colbert hey, we lost the wifi password. Do you remember what that is . Tonight, curve your enthusiasm. Plus stephen welcomes ibram x. Kendi and Patton Oswalt, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, itStephen Colbert stephen are you going to be glad when we dont do this anymore or are you

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor the big news today is about helping people to survive the coronavirus shutdowns that have now forced them out of work. Because, remember, corona isnt just stopping you from going to the gym to take mirror selfies. Its also decimated the world economy. Now, countries have been taking different approaches to help workers during this pandemic. Many countries in europe are paying businesses to keep their employees on the payroll even during shutdowns, japan suspended most tax collection for a year. And russia is even allowing all their election bots to meddle from home. And here in the u. S. , Congress Passed a big 3 trillion relief package back in march, but with the benefits of package about to run out, congress has been struggling to put together something new. N

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Trevor lets begin todays episode with the celebration of john lewis. The civil rights icon who died friday at the age of 80. All weekend, people were remembering just how extraordinary this mans life was. Civil rights icon and American Hero john lewis passing away at age 80. As a college student, he helped lead the fight against racial inequality by participating in multiple protests. In 1963, he was just 23, the youngest speaker at the march on washington right alongside Martin Luther king, jr. My friends, let us not forget that we are involved in a serious social revolution. Trevor two years later, he would lead Peaceful Protesters across the edmund pet us the bridge, fighting for the right to vote. They were met by brutal force by state troopers, lewis, bloody and with a fractured skull. He would continue his fight as a u. S. Representative known as the conscience of the congress. Hundreds gathered in a candlelight vigil. Trevor barack obama credited lewis for making his presidency

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Bars, indoor restaurants and movie theaters will close across the entire state. And the states two Biggest School systems said today they will only do Distance Learning in the fall. Trevor thats right. It might have taken a while for california to blow up again probably because corona was stuck in traffic on the 405, but now theyve become the biggest state to roll back their reopening. Even though many of us has become bored of us, the coronavirus is not bored of us. Coronavirus doesnt care about the new cycle. People are like, wow, did you hear about will and jada . The only thing im trying to get entangled with is your lungs. Whats happening in california is a preview gradually reopening and shutting down when things get dangerous. This whole thing without vaccine, without tracing, without testing is like trying to have sex in your parents house. Things are ramping up, a creek, your dad getting a snack in the kitchen, shut everything down till its safe again, pull your pants back up.

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