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FOXNEWS Gutfeld September 27, 2024

You, you fIlthy people. I know what youre thInkIng. Happy wednesday, everyone. ThInkIngso Joe BIden Appearede w on the VIew Today where Cohoste Sara haInes saId Its lIke havIng one of The Beatles at the tablee of. True I true. If youre talkIng about georgere or john, Its not more lIke yoko. Kamala harrIs wIll vIsIt the southern border on frIday. St she saId shes lookIng forward to fInally meetIng justIn shu. Ahe say speakIng of harrIs at the s last debate, she saId she was a mIddle class kId. Howevehed er It Appearss En HarrIs enjoyed thIngs most mIddle class kIds dIdnt lIke LIvIngjoIngskIds PrIvate Schoolr growIng up In some of the wealthIest places on earth. Jo the only thIng she dIdnt enjoy was a nanny. UnlIkeanI. Her husband, wrong way. Or that was a long way for a cheap joke. Youre welcome, amerIca. New Cdc Data shows. That us ObesIty Rates have fallen for the fIrst tIme even for. But just lIke the crIme statIstIcs, the cdc left out the cItIes new orleans, Los Angeles and the vIew

FOXNEWS Gutfeld September 20, 2024

Thank you. All right. First Of all, i woulD like to apologize to tonights auDiencers, the viewers at homec we will not be airing the Steve Doocy Cooking Segmene Viewt Tonn we apologize to mr. Doocy. But youll still be able to get his new book, cooking with crisco for freee. It saiD, we have a veryinstea special show tonight. So lets welcome our guest. Ig shes still quite humorouht,s with fetus in her uterus. New york times best Selling Author Visit here. Author o Got It. Aut shes from San Franciscohor but still appreciates inDoor plumbing. Cohost Of outnumbereD, Emily A Companion is DeltoiD can Deflect an asteroiD. New york times best selling author, comeDian anD former nwa will geriatric bestse. AnD he loves Diet Coke but hates the woke choosing this Insanity Ovet Coker sean. Ove lets crank it up to 11 for presiDent , 45 anD 47. That man at six foot two fighting for how we Deal with the 45th. Presi DonalD j. DrovDethe. Hey joe so, jackie, hows your Golf Game . Well, havent been thinki

FOXNEWS Gutfeld September 19, 2024

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I my haircut. Happy tuesday, everyOne. Scientists have discovered whaT They call a third state of existence, somewhere between life , death. No kidding. Democrats to the secOnd AssassinatiOn Attempt On trump by turning down the rhetoricp by by comparing the former presidenT To mussolini in a rare sign of unity, Maxine Waters has offered a schedule. F is nexT Tee time. The biden administratiOn has promised to beef un P Securityem for President Trump using the same agents that Protectsame Kamala from reporters. A neighbor of the accused gunman says the family was weird and kept alive hoarse theiR Home. Further proof thaT The Suspect Ughter ] unstable. Gre its okay to boo that One. I felT The same way and investigated. Immigr the immigrant crisis in springfield, ohio, reveals that autringfielohioo accidents have increased four fold. I didnt know the haitians were all women. Both sexes would say. Rfk jr is being investigated for Allegedl Iy cutti

FOXNEWS Gutfeld September 15, 2024

All right. Stl right. And still, its never enough. Its friday, so you know what that means. Lets welcome tonighknow what g. Hes so white, he chalk, but hes tom shillue. Shes so southern. She was baptized raised with Mountain Dew cohost. The Bottom Line of us business. Go ladies would love to try his rocky mountain oysters. Chef and restaurateuran andrew grilldrew. And although no longer a cheerleader she still commutes by Cartwheel Cohost about never ever think about yo. Yeah. All right. So before we get to some new stories, lets do this gregs leftovers. Mm. All right, its leftovers. T us this is where i read the jokes that we didnt use this week. And as always, its first time reading them. So if they , well dress. Joe Mackie F up as a goose and send him to springfield, ohioe mott. So today is the 13th. Oh, yeah. And to celebrate haitians in springfield are only eating black cats. Donald trump told the new York Post that he is done debating and will not do another. Were still waiting o

FOXNEWSW Gutfeld July 4, 2024

To lift his water. Yes. Happy wednesday, everybody. So president bidens erybody with theannel Weather Channel aired today. I know. And the forecastai partly senile with a chance of precipitation in his pants. The only things cloudy were joes memories, especially when it cammoriese to phone calls wih hunters business associates. The one thing he didnt s businw how to touch someone without their permission. Are you prepared to declare a National Emergency with respect to Climate Change . Im already done that. Is the Existential Threat to mankindexistent. So youve already declared that National Emergency . Well manity. , it practically you a bk on it. Thanks. Appreciate it. Yeah. Thats the first time any woman has said appreciate it. After Making Contact with. E is but if hes really concerned about the climate, you know what he should rd aboue climat. You should have eaten that bug. The tasty. Buaten thet tiny carbon footpri. But it is so cute. It reminds me of how joes is always brushing

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