Look at my school record, im always second best. Second beset on the debating team, fourth best on the tennis team, played second lead in the operetta, ranked 11th best in the scholarship. Well id say thats actually an enviable record. Well its just not good enough for me. Im getting sick of being a jack of all nothing. An alsoran. Someday, somewhere, at some thing and i dont care what it is. Id like to be the best. Numbero uno, just once. And if i were you, i wouldnt go around mimicking a mediocre maude like me. phone rings hello . Yes she is. Whos calling . Just a minute. Its george caster. Oh him, tell him i just left. Im sorry she just left. Betty, im ashamed of you. Oh, i know why he called. To ask me for a date tomorrow night and i happen to know phone rings you see im even fourth choice on his list. Just a minute. Its your boyfriend, gordon. Oh, well him ill talk to. Hello gordy. No of course i havent forgotten this is our our evening together. Will your aunt be leaving the same
Got any ideas on how to earn the rest of it . Sure. Mrs. Wilsons away and maybe good old mr. Wilson needs something done. [music] [doorbell ringing] yes. Who is it . Its me, mr. Wilson. Oh, hello, dennis. I got Something Real important to talk to you about. Okay, talk. Jeepers. With you up there and me down here, isnt it kind of hard for you to hear me . As a matter of fact, it is. You better talk louder. I got Something Real important to show you. All right, dennis. The front door is unlocked. Come on in. Maybe it was the backdoor i left open for the gas man. [music] all right, now, dennis, what did you dennis . Dennis . Dennis yes, mr. Wilson. Up here, mr. Wilson. Oh, oh, there you are. How did you get up there . I came up the stairs. How did you get down there . Well, i came down the stairs. Jeepers, i didnt see you. Well, how else would i get down here . Oh, dennis, dont you touch that chessboard. Heck no. Im just looking. Ive been up half the night working out an extremely complic
The other day while i was telling him how to fill my tooth. canned laughter now von zell wants to be romantic. Is he conceited he thinks he looks like he did 15 years ago. Wait a minute, ive seen von zell 15 years ago, and if he thinks he looks like that, hes not conceited. canned laughter not that harry is bad looking. Hes not, but hes not handsome, either. Hes like tapioca pudding, nice, but not exciting. canned laughter and also a little lumpy. canned laughter but everybody likes to give advice. And when they give it to an expert, no wonder he loses his temper and tells the other person to keep quiet. Like this doctor i knew who was taking care of this woman who was going to have her fourth child. No matter what he wanted to do, she made a different suggestion, so he finally lost his temper and he says, madam, how many babies have you delivered . And she said, doctor, how many babies have you had . He kept quiet and listened to the expert. And i know one fellow who couldnt help it.
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[ ] [ ] let me do that, jeannie. Oh, i am sorry, master. But i do not want to lose you. Oh, youre not gonna lose me. My dreams always come true. Yeah. Uh, jeannie, exactly what did you dream about . Well, i cannot remember exactly what it was. Well, you must have some idea. Uh, was it involving, uh, an Automobile Accident . No, i do not think so. An earthquake . No. Well, jeannie, it must be something. Mmmm. Hm an animal. An animal . Oh, it is all coming back to me now. Yeah . You are going to be attacked. Attacked by what . A cat. [laughing] a cat . [gasping] oh, it was terrible. And he was crouching over you, dont do that. Ready to eat you. Stop playing around. Oh and i was not there to protect you. Hi, tony. Hey, look what ive got. Three front row tickets. Yeah, for what . For the circus. The circus . Yeah, i havent been there since i was a kid, and i thought maybe you and jeannie and i, we could go im sorry, roge, i no. But dont you like circuses . Do you know what they have at the