Look at my school record, im always second best. Second beset on the debating team, fourth best on the tennis team, played second lead in the operetta, ranked 11th best in the scholarship. Well id say thats actually an enviable record. Well its just not good enough for me. Im getting sick of being a jack of all nothing. An alsoran. Someday, somewhere, at some thing and i dont care what it is. Id like to be the best. Numbero uno, just once. And if i were you, i wouldnt go around mimicking a mediocre maude like me. phone rings hello . Yes she is. Whos calling . Just a minute. Its george caster. Oh him, tell him i just left. Im sorry she just left. Betty, im ashamed of you. Oh, i know why he called. To ask me for a date tomorrow night and i happen to know phone rings you see im even fourth choice on his list. Just a minute. Its your boyfriend, gordon. Oh, well him ill talk to. Hello gordy. No of course i havent forgotten this is our our evening together. Will your aunt be leaving the same time as usual . Good. But uh, i want you to promise not to chase me so much tonight. I wont chase you, im gonna disintegrate you. laughter here, let me talk now gordon. Bring some new books over to read to me . Ok. Auntie wants to talk now. Sorry to bother you betty, but gordon insisted on calling. He does so look forward to your evenings with him. Tell him ill be on time. Alright mrs. Wiggum. Bye. Howd i get trapped into this sitter job . I did it one evening, merely to help out well it cant last much longer. Didnt you say his parents will be sending for him soon . Yes but how soon is soon . Theyre still in india. Some kind of state department work. Boy. That goofy joyce, you know what . Shes trying out for the College Fencing team. Well thats not so goofy. Shes a dancer and they say dancers can learn to fence quicker than others. And shell have a good chance because not many girls go out forhey maybe thats for me too. Maybe i can be the best in that. You . Well why not . You may be looking at the colleges next fencing champ. Ow laughter i suppose i really should give up my weekly club meetings, but you know oh no, you need that. And dont worry about being late, i have plenty of studying to do and i can do it here as well as at home. That is if you dont get too frisky. Well, see you in a bit. Alright. You have fun tonight. Gordon . Gordon . Youre disintegrated. You know something, youre right. I disintegrated into an alsoran. Youre the fifth one i disintegrated today. That figures. With my record, i couldnt possibly be the first one. Whats this, something youre making . Youre not supposed to see that. Ok. First thing you better do is get on your pajamas. Read me first . Is this for me . No, no thats a history book for me. This for me . No thats for me too. It tells you how to fence. Im gonna take that up. Fence . Oh, fencing. You know . Dueling with swords . Oh like zorro . Better than zorro. Im gonna be champion girl fencer of springfield college, you know that . No. Well i am. Theres a tournament in about 5 weeks and im going to win it. Read me how you do it . Well i dont know how yet. I have to take instruction first. Think im to dumb to learn. Read me how you do it. No, the first thing you better do is get your pajamas on. Read me first and then i will. No. Now you go or ill drop kick you into the bedroom and you wont stop bouncing till next tuesday. No go laughter performing the lunge, the forearm is straight and shoulder high. In the recovery, the left leg is quickly bent, thats better. Uh. Not so tightly. Theres an old saying. Hold the sword as though it were a little bird in your hand. Firmly enough so that it cannot escape you but not so firmly as to crush it. More like this . Ms. Anderson, i thought you said you knew something about fencing . Well i read a book on it. laughs must have skipped a few chapters. Alright, the basis of the attack is the lunge. Now, in executing the lunge well i know the lunge. Its like this. Ms. Anderson why dont you go out for the Volleyball Team . Volleyball . But i want to learn to fence. I intend to enter the tournament. Look, the tournament is only weeks away. Now if i had several months to train you. No use trying to discourage me. Im not only going to enter the tournament. Im going to win it. Now, show me what to do. Youre pretty determined arent you . You bet i am. Alright. Thats worth something. But i warn you, you have a long way to go and you will have to practice and practice and practice. Mom, save me. Save me. [mom] oh now bud. [bud] three musketeers are after me. Now stop it, youre making practice with me. Now look, if this fencing is going to become a big issue, maybe you better drop it . Its just not as important. Well it is to me. Well you think of a way. Well whatever youre doing, youre not doing it in my kitchen. Backyard. Come on bud, please. Well let me get ready first. Theres nothing to get ready. Yes there is. Really now, betty. You think this is worth while . You have plenty to keep you busy. What with your school work and your baby sitting and all. Mother, i have to prove to myself once and for all that i can be the best in something. Well i have to live with me the rest of my life. I dont want to live with a second rater. Yes but. Merely winning a fencing tournament is hardly ok, im ready. laughter keep your elbow down. Keep your elbow down or you passe straight. No. Parry, cease, curtsy, eee. No cover and cut. You see . You anticipate me. Now, please parry corner the cease. Cut, cease. Again. The riposte immediately when you find the blade. Thats better. Not good, you understand . But better. Do you think i have a chance . Cant tell yet. But if determination makes a champ, youre a shoein. Then im a champ. What do you think i need the most work on . Everything. Your attacks, your parries, your feints. And that riposte, dont forget that riposte. Wow. Youre sure encouraging. You asked. Me and my big mouth. You think i might get in some extra evening sessions . Evenings maybe . Im willing to do anything to help anyone who really wants to learn. How about this evening . Wonderful ill be here about hm. Its none of my business but if i were you, id give up boyfriends until after the tournament. Well this one i can handle. Hes fairly young. Thats the worst kind. Six years old . Huh . Touche laughs . And so alice and her little brother roy packed their knapsacks and set out on their big camping trip. Theyd gone less than a mile whats camping . Well you know what camping is. Theyd gone less than a mile what is it . You know, its when you go up in the mountains and you put up a tent and you cook outdoors and well youve slept in a tent havent you . Uh uh. Only in apartments and hotels. You mean youve never been camping . Uh uh. No. Well thats a shame. Every boy should go camping. Thats the best part of his life. Some night, well ask your aunt to let you come home with me and well put up a tent in the backyard and well cook our supper outdoors and sing songs around a campfire and have a wonderful time. Can we do it tonight . Oh i dont know. What do you want to use it for . Well i want to give it to gordon. Ok. I trapped myself into saying id take him camping some night in our backyard. Our backyard . Thats no camping trip. Well its better than nothing. Poor kid hes lived in hotels and apartments all his life. He doesnt even know what camping is. Well anyway im stuck. I dont know why i let myself in for these things. I be such a bother. Such a bother, she says. She loves every minute of it. Youd think that kid was her own. Oh, say. Did i tell you what the fencing coach said today . He tell you to take up volleyball again . No. He hasnt admitted im any good yet, but he said hed work with me in some extra evening sessions. Extra sessions . Oh now betty, mother, i have to spend a lot of time if i expect to win. But im afraid youre neglecting your schoolwork no im not. Well youre losing weight. I am not. Now . Oh maybe a little, but i needed to lose some. Oh now mom, dont discourage her from extra work with the coach. Thatll let me out. Oh no. I still need you too. Dear . Hey look joyce is going out for the team but shes not going through all this extra jazz. Shes not going to win either. Ive got to get some sleep. Goodnight. Well you know actually, the victory would do her a whirl of good. Give her confidence in herself. Which i think is really what shes looking for. Well perhaps. But considering how much shes nagging on this, i wonder whatll happen to her confidence if she doesnt win. Well ill tell you this. The way shes going after this thing, i think shes going to win i dont want to do this. Guys be quiet overlapping talking ok. En guard. Oh you be quiet. Ready . Look at how professional you are. Play overlapping talking laughter oh bud. Youre not even trying. Betty. Ive got gordon on the phone. Tell him i havent forgotten mumbling . Bud. Are you alright . overlapping talking well he wants to know about the camping trip. Oh i wish i never mentioned it, thats all he talks about now. Well, tell him ill explain it tonight. Now listen gordon. Ive told you that im too busy now. But as soon as the tournament is over, then well go camping. Now, we have time for one short story. But you know the rules. No stories until you put on your pajamas. I cant get them, i already packed. Then well just have to unpack them. Now turn around. Count 11. Ok . Now run. Hurry. One. Two. Two and a half. laughter swords clashing touche good betty, very good. Think im ready for the big one tonight . Youre ready. And how youve made so much progress in such a short time. I dont know. But youve done it and this tournament tonight is strictly all yours. Dont worry about that. You better get home now. Dont eat too heavily and get some rest. You have been driving yourself. So you need to rest. Ill see you back here tonight at 7 30. Ok . Ok. instrumental music i really want you to win. Oh thanks laughs . She will. Come on hun, we better hurry so we get good seats. Mow them down tonight little girl laughs . Dont be late well be ready for you. Dont forget, well see you over there. Ok. laughs is this everything you need . I think so. I hope so. Hm. Here ill carry it. Oh. Alright. Well get moving. I dont want to be phone rings hello . Oh hello mrs. Wiggum. What . Oh, no. We received this telegram from his father. Theyre arriving in new york, so gordon and i are flying out of here tomorrow to meet them. So tonights his last chance for that camping trip and he does have his heart set on it. Mrs. Wiggum i cant do it tonight. I just. Well i have this tournament and i i just cant do it. Please make him understand. Oh. Oh of course i will. I didnt realize your tournament was tonight. Ill try to make him understand, but perhaps you can drop around in the morning for a moment before we leave. Gordon has a little going away present for you. Yes, of course. In the morning. Uh, yes. Goodbye. Oh why did this have to happen . I cant take gordon camping tonight, even if it is his only chance. Ive worked too hard for this dont argue with me. Im on your side. Come on lets go. Cathys got stuff in the car. Dangit. Poor little sweet mutt. I suppose i should have at least talked to him. And now we present a fencer of outstanding ability. Miss betty anderson. fanfare music thank you gang. I shall now give you a demonstration of my super technique in the art of fencing. Watch closely. playful music [cathy and gordon] clapping laughter [cathy and gordon] laughing oh. Intruder eh . Whats in today . En guard you rabid scallion laughter playful music [cathy and gordon] laughing oh look, there she is. What in the world is she doing . laughs oh no wonder she didnt show up at the tournament. Look who her audience is. Gordon. [cathy and gordon] clapping laughter laughs [all] clapping background noise covers voice and uh, now my friend, colonel baggy pants, will lead us in our goodnight song. Colonel . Ok yous kids, lets hear them mellow tones ring out loud and clear. harmonica note plays good night campers. [cathy and gordon] good night campers. [cathy and gordon] merrily we go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Merrily we go to sleep and sleep the whole night through. Howd this happen . We couldnt figure out why you didnt show up at the gym. Well your coach was very disappointed. So was i. Well, i found out gordons leaving tomorrow. This was his only night. I tried desperately to brush him out of my mind, but suddenly i knew that he was more important than the tournament. Or even the winning. humming . Good night campers. Good night campers. So i think you better take charge of your charge. Looks like hes had it. Hes asleep. Isnt he cute . We better get him to bed. Here, we better get this silly thing off first. Here let me take him. Wheres he gonna sleep . Look at this. [father] huh . [cathy] what is it . I dont know, ashtray i guess. Read what it says. To betty, my best friend. Well, i wanted to be best at something. Finally made it. You made it long ago with us. Just a second, let me take his hat. Oh mumbling . Ok . Yea. And jane wyatt with elinor donahue, billy gray, and Lauren Chapin in father knows best. lively music hi, kathy oh, hi patty. Buds picking me up, want a ride home . Gee, i wish i could but mothers picking me up. Hey kathy, did i tell you . Freddie madsen asked me to go to the Community Picnic with him saturday. Oh, you lucky anybody ask you yet . You better hurry, youve only got two more days. Well gee, what am i supposed to do . Well, i guess some girls appeal to boys and some dont. Oh, thanks a lot i didnt mean it that way kathy. I just mean that, well look at those girls over there talking to George Wilson. Now why is he over there talking to them instead of being over here talking to you . Are you kidding . The handsomest boy in class . He wouldnt even look at me. I bet hes never talked to you. Well he never talked to you well, he sorta did once. He was behind me in line and i accidentally stepped on his foot and he said, watch it will ya . It was wonderful. Hi, elaine. [elaine] hi. laughs seems like every other girl has a boyfriend. Oh, hi freddie like our folks always say kathy, your time will come. George, break it up come on brother dear, were waiting. [bud] oh, kathy, this is shirley wilson. Shirley wilson, my kid sister kathy. [shirley] hi. [kathy] hello. Oh, bud, this is my brother george. George hi, bud. [bud] hi, george. Im sure you and kathy know each other. Oh sure, hello. Hello. Come on, get in oh excuse me. [george thinking] kathys kind of cute and i would like to talk to her. But what should i say . [kathy thinking] if only he asked me to go to the picnic with him. How can i get him to talk to me . doorbell rings bud, its the front door well, bettys home, cant she get it . No, shes upstairs dressing. doorbell rings hang on dad, ive got to find some memory paper. Well, hurry up will you, this things fit. [betty] ill get it old tallulah laughs cant resist a telephone or a doorbell to the female fire horn. Ow laughter got some flowers here for betty anderson. Thats me you really got your boyfriend trained. Fresh. Hey, they are flowers ill bet, who are they for . Theyre from don burton. To betty, from your constant admirer whos say thats some box what did he send you, a whole tree . Flowers oh well open it, lets see oh, arent they beautiful . What a wonderful color. [betty] don is such an angel. George wilson is wonderful too. The other day we were in line and i was in front of him and i accidentally [bud] hey, dad, i thought you were holding my distributor for me. I am. Whats the occasion for the flowers . Just nothing, don burton sent them. Arent they beautiful . What, are you getting engaged or something . Dont be silly, hes just a good friend. You dont have to be engaged to a girl to have a boy to have him send you flowers. Why, before your father and i were married i used to receive baskets of roses. [jim] who from . Oh, various admirers. Then your father came in one day with one geranium, and i married him. Later on i found out he picked it in my own front yard. laughter [betty] wont be long before kathy will be getting flowers. [margaret] from George Wilson . Well, the other day at school we were standing in line, and i was standing in front of him and i accidentally [bud] i gotta get going. Im invited to Molly Clemens for dinner. Tonight . [billy] yeah. Say, wheres the memory paper . Oh, its in the buffet. I wont be here for tomorrow night either. Theres a dinner dance over at westridge girls school and janice invited me. [margaret] well, what are your plans betty . [betty] tomorrow afternoon i have a tennis date with don and tomorrow night i hate you i just hate you youre ugly, fat, and stupid nobody likes you everybody else has boyfriends and girlfriends but youve got nobody crying [betty] kathy, whats wrong . sobbing what happened . Huh, what happened . Nothing, i just felt like crying, thats all. You can tell me about it kathy, thats what big sisters are for. sobbing loudly when we were talking downstairs you mentioned George Wilson, does it have something to do with george . Theres nothing to be ashamed of kathy. I was crying over boys when i was 12 years old. Now tell me about george. Is he your boyfriend . Of course he is. I can tell by the expression on your face. Hes sort of my boyfriend. That is weve kind of been going around at school and everything. Oh naturally so what happened . Well he likes me a lot you know. We had a fight. Oh, about what . Lets see. He was walking with this other girl and so i said, well, if you want to walk with other girls its all right with me. And then he tried to apologize but i just wouldnt listen. And i left him standing there. Hes been trying to talk to me ever since little sister, youre growing up. laughter dont you worry, you did exactly the right thing. Now stop crying, everythings gonna be alright. This is your first boyfriend, and there will be lots more. More quarrels, more making up. Its wonderful. But you make me feel so old you know, ive been thinking about kathy. Shes pretty much alone. Bud and betty are growing away from her, they dont have much in common anymore. Well, you cant make time stand still, dear. Im quite aware of that. Might try a little harder to keep the family intact rather than the kids taking off in seven different directions. Im for that. Now, you take the Community Picnic for instance oh. Why cant we go as a family . Instead of betty and her date sitting at one table and bud and his date at another, and you and i and kathy sitting off alone in a corner somewhere. Oh, you are a lonely joe tonight dear. Im nothing of the kind. Weve always been a sticktogether family and id like to keep it that way. Father, can you please fix the buckle on this belt . Well, ive been fixing them since you put on your first dress. I guess i could manage. Poor little kathy. [jim] hmm . I found her up in her room crying as if her heart would break. You know what . She has a boyfriend so thats why she was upset. I wonder why she didnt tell us about it. Who didnt tell who about what . [betty] kathy has a boyfriend, George Wilson youre kidding no, i am not, she just told me. Well they sure keep it a secret. We gave george a ride home this afternoon and they didnt even look at each other. Well, they had a fight. Boy are those kids sick. Lovers quarrel at age 12 . Oh, now just a minute grandpa. When you were 12 years old you were the lochinvar of the bicycle set. Whats everybody doing in the kitchen . [margaret] thats what id like to know. I was trying to get dinner. Whats all this jazz about you and George Wilson . Oh, its nothing, just another boy. Oh come on now kathy, tell the truth. Give us all the romantic details. [jim] well ill say this for old george, he picked the best looking girl in the class oh, daddy, stop it. Are you sure you arent imagining all this . I certainly am not kathy would never tell us anything that wasnt true. There you are dear. Oh come on, kitten. If im going to be father of the bride i want to hear the whole story. [kathy] well, theres nothing really. Its just that look, if youre going to be so modest ill tell them. George wilson is simply crazy about kathy. Thats right isnt it . Well, sure but and they had a quarrel because kathy saw him walking with another girl, right . Yes, but now george is just dying of remorse, he wants to apologize. But kathy is playing it smart. Shes going to let him suffer for a while. Oh these calculating females. Sounds like a pretty tall tale to me. Its true you just dont believe anything good about me. George is my boyfriend and he likes me and he wants to take me places. Oh, yeah . Just like bettys boyfriends do. And where would a 12 year old kid take you . What places . Lots of places to the movies, to the malt shop, he even wants to take me to the picnic saturday. [jim] oh, so george wants to take you to the picnic, huh . Say, hows this for an idea . Suppose i reserve one of those big tables out at the picnic grounds and well make this a super family affair. Betty you bring ralph, bud you bring shirley, will be kathy and George Wilson. Guy hey, sara. Oh my gosh. Hes so cute. How do you know him . Cmon donovan, do it like i taught ya. Love the new tattoo, sara. Lets go dude. What . Dude, thats sara. Whos sara . The girl in the pink shirt. Thats the girl i was telling you about. Oh, thats sara. Theater two on your left. Hey sara, what color underwear today . Hey sara. So, when you gonna post something new . Announcer anything you post online, anyone can see. Family, friends. See ya later, sara. For bud and his date, betty and his date, and george and me. Oh i wouldnt be you for anything what are you going to do . I dont know. Hi, george. Oh, hello. Do you think i could ask him to go to the picnic with me . Oh, dont be silly. He only goes with the popular girls. Besides, you cant just walk up and ask him. Ive got to, the picnics tomorrow. Come on, walk over and stand beside me while i ask him. [patty] i will not hell think were a couple of feather brains. Youve got yourself into this mess, youre not going to get me into it too. I cant walk over to him alone, id die if you cant walk over to him without dying how are you going to talk to him . Oh, i wish id never been born ive got an idea. When bud takes you and george home in his car maybe then you can ask george. I cant go home with him. Bud think that george has already asked me. car honks loudly come on george, lets go. Hurry up theres bud and shirley. Come on, i dont want them to see me. What are you pushing me for . Well youve got to stay here and help me help you . Shhh hi. Wheres kathy . [george] i dont know. She was over there a minute ago. She probably forgot her books or something. [shirley] look, buds waiting. You could go and find her you know. Well if i found her what would i say to her . [shirley] little brothers. The way i hear it, you arent exactly strangers. What do you mean . Well, you asked her to go to the picnic saturday, didnt you . [shirley] george ask a girl for a date . Hed rather be shot. You mean you didnt ask her . Ive never even talked to kathy. Except once, we were standing in line but she was in front of me and she stepped on my foot and i i know, i heard about that. Why that little fibber. Oh, hi , patty, say, wheres kathy . Let me see. Oh, yes i know. She had to stop at the store and buy some things. What store . How should i know . Kathy made up these excuses, i didnt. Hey friends, i picked up a beautiful girl on the way home. Hello, dear. [jim] hi. Kathy you were supposed to come home with bud. I couldnt. Well i had to go to the store and do some other things. Well, everybody all set for the picnic tomorrow . Yeah, i am, i talked to ralph and he said its fine with him. [jim] good. What about shirley . [bud] its all right with her. Kathy, are you all straightened out with george . Do you have your date, kitten . Oh sure george said hed love to take me to the picnic, and hes real excited about it. But i just remembered, i dont think i can go. I have a dancing lesson tomorrow. We can postpone that til next week. Well, its all nailed down then. I reserved the table today, got that big one under the oak tree, right beside the lake. Well have to leave here about 11 tomorrow. Kathy, you better phone george and tell him to be here, oh, about quarter of, huh . Thats right. I dont think hes home yet. Yeah, hes home. I delivered him myself. [margaret] oh, you better call him, angel, so there wont be any confusion. You dont want george to be late for your first date particularly when hes been looking forward to it for so long. dialing phone hello, may i speak to george please . Hello, george . This is kathy. Im calling about tomorrow, you know, the picnic . Yes, thats right. Oh, you cant go oh, george, im so sorry. Of course, i understand. If only it would rain. I know i did a terrible thing, and i ought to be punished, but please can you punish me later, and for now, just send some rain . Its very dry and the farmers need it, and i need it. You dont have to send an awful lot of rain just enough to cost this picnic. [betty] kathy . Kathy, youre not even dressed. Well, we might not go. That is, if it rains, and it looks pretty cloudy outside. [voiceover] interrupting this program for the latest Weather Report for the springfield area. laughs hows that for timing . [voiceover] clear and sunny, slightly warmer with a high of 70. Perfect weather for the Community Picnic. Its not going to rain so you dont have to worry. Now get dressed. George should be here any minute. You did call him last night, didnt you . Sure. And told him to be here at quarter to 11 . Well, then hurry up. music box playing hey, whos holding up the parade . [margaret] our two guests of honor havent appeared. Oh, bud, go upstairs and tell kathy were waiting. Yeah, go on. crying crying you do all this research on a perfect car your Insurance Company raises your rates. Maybe you should have done more research on them. For drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Just one of the many features that comes standard with our base policy. Call for a free quote today. See Car Insurance in a whole new light. Come on, kathy, folks are waiting for you downstairs. I cant go down there, you know why i cant. Yeah, i know. I know you were fibbing about george right from the beginning. Then why didnt you tell on me . You just wanted to torture me, didnt you . No. What a mess you can get yourself into by telling one little lie. I may not show it all the time, but im kind of proud of betty and you. I think i got a couple of real nice sisters. The kind that if they happen to make a mistake or tell the folks a lie, well, theyd be big enough to know theyd done wrong, and theyd go square themselves. How could i tell them . Just go down and tell them. I know thats tough. But take my word for it, if you go down right now, and tell them exactly what happened, all your worries are over. I guarantee it. How about it . Okay, if youll come with me. Sure, ill come with you. We cant get everyone together. No sign of old george. Something for you and your mother there. Thank you. Were certainly getting their romance off to a flying start. Thanks, dear. Kathy bud kitten, you better get on the phone and find out what happened to your boyfriend. Angel, oh, youve been crying. Whats the matter . I have to tell you something about george. Its awfully hard to explain. Well, what is it, kitten . Well, when i told you that i you see doorbell ringing hello, there. Hello. Im George Wilson. I have a date with kathy for the picnic. [jim] yes, come on in, george. Im kathys father. [george] hi. Thats the rest of the andersons, betty, and bud, and im sure you know kathy. Hi, kathy. Hello, george. Im out back. Come on everybody, lets go group chattering got a wonderful table, george, under a big tree right by the lake. Bud, wait quit pulling on me. You got george to come. You did it for me, didnt you . Well, youre such a little knothead somebodys got to look out for you. Bud, youre the most perfect, wonderful brother that ever lived. I love you youre just the greatest how can i ever repay you . Oh, bud bud remember how they used to fight when they were little . Well, theyre growing up, honey, and arent we glad. [ ] [ ] [ ] hazel, look. Arent they beautiful . Oh, they sure are, missy. Say, that green thumb of yours is getting greener all the time. Huh . What did you put in there . Just the radish tops. Oh you should catch it with eggshells. [disposal whirs] stuck again. Thats the third time this week. Oh, for petes sake. Here, stand aside, missy. Ill see if i can pry it loose hazel, youre not going to struggle with this anymore. This time were gonna let george do it. Okay. I second the motion. Oh, thanks, son. Ooh, boy [laughing] you want me to help you unload the rest of the stuff, dad . Good, boy. What did i tell you, missy . I knew hed do it. Knew id do what . Hazel said if you went to the store hungry, youd buy everything in the market. Hazel, ill admit i bought a few extra items, but nothing that wont keep. Tuna fish . Well, they were having a special on it, so i, bought 12 cans. Twelve . George, we already have eight cans of tuna. Ill find a place. Mr. B. , im warning you, there aint room for another thing in that cupboard. Oh, nonsense. George, now look what youve done i think i broke my foot. No, just the shelf. Its a good thing there wasnt any bottles up there. Hazel, im concerned about my foot. If it isnt broken, i can fix that shelf anytime. Oh, brother, that hurt. Well, i guess its all right. Ill go get the tools and fix it. Before you start on something new, youd better fix the garbage disposal, george. Whats the matter with it . Its stuck again. For the third time this week, mr. B. Oh, no. Thats the way hazel and i feel about it, george. Look, why dont you let me call the plumber and have him wait a minute, dorothy. Call the plumber on saturday and pay time and a half . When im trying to save money stocking up on grocery specials . Well, mr. B. , you might as well face it. You know, this old kitchen is falling apart, piece by piece, bit by bit. The only thing you can do is completely remodel it. Remodel . Hazels right, george. Dorothy, whoever heard of remodeling just because a few things need to be fixed . Do you know how much it would cost to remodel the kitchen . No. But do you know how many things need to be fixed . And besides, george, you can just fix things for so long, and then you reach the point of no return. Youre a smart man, mr. B. Youre the first one to agree that it doesnt make any sense to throw good money after bad. Hazel, dorothy, now, ive heard enough. There cant be that much wrong around here. [disposal whirs] [clattering] you didnt happen to buy a broom when you was at the store, did you, mr. B. . Hazel, if we dont have lunch pretty soon, itll be time for dinner. Well, so much has happened since you got home, i guess it just slipped my mind. Come on, son. Well get the tools and fix that shelf. I wish george werent so stubborn. It would take months to convince him to remodel this old kitchen. Oh, no, it wont. Not if my plan works. What plan . Well, of course, i didnt think it up all by myself. Hazel, you know george just isnt a man who makes quick decisions about spending money. No, but he is a man who believes in doing the right thing in the end. Oh, if the end werent so many exhausting arguments away. Well, thats where my plan comes in. You see, i found a way to convince him when he cant talk back. Just think of all the time and energy thatsonna save us. Hazel, the only way to keep george from talking back about anything is to hypnotize him. Its sort of a sleep teacher. Ill explain it to you later. Here we go, son. Hazel. Huh . What in the world is this mess . What mess . I dont see any mess. Im referring to these two dozen items you have coming out of one electrical outlet. Oh, not two dozen, mr. B. Theres just the toaster and the coffee percolator and the radio and the waffle iron and the egg poacher and the knife sharpener and the blender. Seven appliances plugged into one outlet . What are you trying to do, blow a fuse . Well, thats the only outlet in this room that i can use. Are you sure . Im positive theres another one in here somewhere. Oh, sure, we got another one, but its very unhandy. What do you mean, uhhandy . Its right over here, behind the refrigerator. Oh, i. I see what you mean. Well, uh, maybe i can bring an extension cord no, that wouldnt work. Well, ill think of something. Hazel. Hmm . Why arent you using that new automatic carving knife i bought . Because i like the old carving set better. Thats ridiculous where is it . Oh, its down there in the second drawer, george. One of the most efficient devices ever invented, and you let it lie there idle in a drawer. Hazel, you just watch this. Now, im going to show you how easy it is. It makes slicing so simple and twice as quick. Well, i aint in that much of a hurry. Hazel, all you have to do is guide it. Now, watch. Dorothy, are you watching . [gasping] oh, mr. B. thats all right. Dont worry. Were going to have new linoleum anyway. Arent you going to fix the shelf, dad . After lunch. Yeah. Were gonna have to find a way to get him out of the house tomorrow. Oh, thats easy. Hes playing golf with harry noll. Oh, thatll give us plenty of time to make our recording. Recording . What recording . Yeah, the one you and me is gonna make on his tape machine. [ ] george . [hazel] old George Baxter had a house eeieeio but in this house there was a kitchen eeieeio with no cabinet space here no cabinet space there here a break, there a break everything beyond repair eeieeio what. Dorothy . Did you Say Something . More coffee, anybody . Hmm. Does that mean yes or no . Yes, please. George . Hmm . Did you sleep all right last night . Oh, im sorry, dorothy. Whatd you say . I was just wondering if you rested well last night. Died . Hazel, what i mean is that when my head hit that pillow, i was dead to the world and everything in it. That far gone, huh . Wild horses couldve raced through that bedroom, and i wouldve never heard them. Oh, thats just perfect. And whats more, hazel, i feel terrific this morning. And when a man feels this good, theres no problem too big to conquer. Oh, thats the way i like to hear you talk, mr. B. Then maybe you figured out a way we could remodel the kitchen. I didnt mean that. I case you didnt get the message before, i solved that little problem saturday. Oh, but i thought maybe you changed your mind. A man has as much right to change his mind as a woman does, george. I havent changed my mind. And ive seen kitchens a lot worse than ours. You have . Where . Hazel, when i. When i think of the wonderful meals my grandmother used to prepare on a woodburning stove. And the only Running Water she had is what she pumped from the well. Fed it to the pigs. Well, since our disposal is on the blink, maybe we ought to get pigs too. All right. Hazel, ill call the plumber and have him fix the disposal this morning, but that is all. Thats what i was afraid of, missy. He was too far gone last night. We never got to him. [door opens] hi, george. You finish checking that jameson land option yet . On the last page now. Sit down, harry. [humming old macdonald had a farm] eeieeio well, i just thought id join in. You were humming, and. Oh. Was i . [chuckles] this is okay with me, harry. I told jameson not to worry about a thing. Wed fix it up just the way he wanted it. Its obviously the only sensible thing to do. Against jameson buying more land . Harry, how much do you think it would cost . About 400 an acre. No, no, im not talking about that. You see, dorothy and hazel want to redo the kitchen. Now, its seen good service, and, well, when you start fixing this and start fixing that, you finally reach the point of no return. You understand what i mean . No. Well, harry, its like constantly repairing an old car. Theres no point in doing that if its more economical to buy a new one. Youre right. Youre right, george. Yeah, but where do i begin . I can introduce you to an automobile dealer wholl give you the best offer in town. Harry, im talking about my kitchen. Oh, i thought you were talking about your car. No, im talking about my kitchen. Im a pretty good repairman, but im not quite up to repairing a whole kitchen. Well, what you need is a contractor, george. I know just the man for you. Oh, if i had any remodeling to do, hes the man id get. His names Clyde Clifton. Or is it Clifton Clyde . Never heard of him. I handled a law case for him last year. Got to know him pretty well. How about if i send him over to your house to give you an estimate . Well, is he reasonable . I mean, i only have just a few things to do. Just tell him what you want to have done, and hell tell you how much it costs. Mr. Baxter . Yes . Im Clyde Clifton. Oh, yes, yes, mr. Clifton. Come on in. Nice of you to drop by. Harry noll said you wanted some remodeling done. Thats right. My wife. How do you do . And miss hazel burke. How do . Well, what do you want done in here . Oh, well, not in here. We just would like to modernize our kitchen. Kitchen . [whistles] oh. Well, its right this way. Missy, did you notice . Hes a whistler. Whats a whistler . Oh, youll see. Every one of them whistles is for a reason. He just wants you to realize how hard it is to do everything that you ask him to do. Oh. Well, he seems harmless enough. Oh, until you get his price. Oh, never trust them whistlers. Theyll do you in every time. Come on. Wed better get out there. [whistles] uh, mr. Noll told me your specialty is modernizing. Sure is. I can have the wrecking crew and equipment here by monday. Hows that suit you . Wrecking crew . The way i see it, first well knock out that back wall. Give you a lot more space in here, you know . Then well take and well move this whole section right oh, no, no, no wait now just a minute. I want to modernize, but i dont want to demolish and rebuild. You mean you dont want to extend . If they do anything. Its the thing to do, you know . Well, thats isnt exactly what i had in mind. You see, i thought we would put in a new sink and a new disposal and counters and. Well, all right. [whistles] george, dont forget the extra electrical outlets. Oh, yes, all along over here. And Storage Space for appliances toaster, waffle iron, and things like that. As a matter of fact, well need as much additional cabinet space as theres room for. [whistles] we would also like to put in a new refrigerator and electric range. With two ovens, so hazel can broil and roast at the same time. When he finds out what this jokers gonna charge him. And then of course the floor will have to be all done over with linoleum or some kind of tile. [whistles] [chuckles] well, i guess that about does it. What about the cabinets . You want the wood natural or painted . Natural, i think. Natural. [whistles] mr. Clifton, how soon can you give me an estimate of what itll cost . It wont take long. Better sit down, mr. B. Um. Give or take a couple of hundred, and not including the disposal, stove or icebox, five thousand bucks. Five. Five thou. And that aint including the disposal and the cabinets and the linoleum. Hazel, i know what it doesnt include. Look, mr. Clifton, ill, uh. Ill have to think this over. Well, dont think too long. Prices of material are going up all the time, you know. And labor costs. [whistles] uh, ill let you know. And ill show you the way out. Thank you, hazel. [whistles] george, his price is ridiculous. Holy mackerel. I had no idea itd be so high. Theres no reason why it should be. But harry noll said he was so very reasonable. I tried to tell you, mr. B. , never do business with a whistler. Theyll take you every time. At least let me get an estimate from him. I ought to have my head examined for even considering a modeling job. Okay, dorothy. You take over. [whistles] oh, that aint a whistlers whistle. Thats a relief whistle. I was afraid youd changed your mind. [ ] you didnt take Clyde Clifton . No, i didnt, and for a very good and simple reason he tried to take me. Good old clyde . Good old clyde. Tell me something, harry, how could you recommend a guy like him to a friend like me . Well, he is a building contractor, george. Hah i wouldnt let him remodel smileys dog house. Not at his prices. I dont know why i ever handled that law case for him. Would you believe it . He still owes me 1,500. All right, george, i admit it. Thats why i recommended him. And i thought we were friends. Well, i figured if you gave him the job, i could slap an attachment on him and get back the money he owes me. Now, theres nothing unfriendly about that, george. Is there . If you want to punch me in the nose, i wont fight back. No thanks, harry. After all, clifton showed me how foolish i was not to have let the remodeling of the kitchen go to hazel and dorothy in the first place. Oh . And what do men know about kitchens anyway . Well, thereve been quite a few who knew how to use them. Scoferier of paris, oscar of the waldorf, sam. Sam . Sam schwartz of the hofbrau, youre late for work. You grab your 10gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. Right into your wifes car. With your wife watching. Eventually. Your Insurance Company, not so much. They say you only have their basic policy. Dont basic policies cover basic accidents . Of course, they say. As long as you pay extra for it. With a Liberty Mutual base policy, new car replacement comes standard. And for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Learn more by calling at Liberty Mutual, every policy is personal, with coverage and deductibles, customized just for you. Which is why we dont offer any offtheshelf policies. Switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509. Call Liberty Mutual for a free quote today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Ththy . In the dining room, darling. Silly, were remodeling the kitchen, remember . Well, i remember that part, but. Nobody told me anything like this was going to happen to the dining room. Oh, well, you mustve expected a few inconveniences while the work was being done. Oh. Well, i never thought about that. [chuckles] itll only be like this for a few weeks, darling. Then think how wonderful everything will be afterwards. Harold harold, where are you going with that sleeping bag . Hi, dad. This is the only way i can get to the back yard now. Harold, i told you i dont want you to sleep outside tonight. Aw, gee. I thought itd be fun to camp out while the kitchens all torn up. I wish i could feel that way about it. Im beginning to think well all be camping out before this remodelings finished. [door opens] oh, come on, folks. Lets eat it while its hot. I got fried rice, chow mein, beef and pea pods and fortune cookies. [ ] hazel, how much longer do you think itll be . I dont know, mr. B. Youre the barbecue expert. Im not talking about the steaks. I want to know how much longer itll be before we have our kitchen. Oh, itll be finished any day now, and youll see how nice its gonna be. At this point, id be ready to settle for the old one if i could get it back. Hazel oh, im sorry, mr. B. [ ] dorothy . Hazel . [noisemakers blowing] welcome to the grand opening of the new kitchen. Aint it a doozy, mr. B. . Yyou mean its really finished . And the balloons are my idea, dad. Well, i must say it doesnt look like the same old place. Look at our new stove. Hoho beautiful and the oven has a show window in it, dad. How do you like the shutters . Terrific. George, look. Arent these cabinets beautiful . Aint it something, mr. B. . I sure like this new refrigerator. Its swell you know, ive always wanted to qualify for membership in the wine and food society. I think ill become an amateur chef. Oh, no. You cant do that, mr. B. Not in this kitchen. Just a minute, hazel. I think i have a right to use my own kitchen if i want to. Oh, sure, you have. That aint what i meant, mr. B. I meant, with a new stove and Everything Else new in here, you cant be no amateur chef. You cant be nothing but an expert. [ ] [ ] hi, george neighbor. [chuckles] hi, neighbor. Hazel oh, im sorry, mr. B. I didnt mean to block the door, but i pinched my finger and went to get a bandaid. What are you trying to do . Well, there was a little mixup at the furniture store, mr. B, and they didnt send the nolls bed, so i told em they could use this. Didnt i tell you thered be trouble when you got my partner interested in that house next door . But mr. B, we aint using it put it back in the basement. But whatll they sleep on . Put it back in the basement,t, they can go to a hotel. He can afford it. I know, he borrowed enough off me this morning. Dorothy, this old bed of ours stays in the basement, you understand . Oh, george, youre absolutely right. It would be so much easier for harry and his bride to sleep in our guest room. What . well, you know, theyre having their bed custommade and it might take two or three weeks, but surely we can put them up for that long. Hazel, never mind. Let go, let go. I wont have you straining yourself with this bed. This is mans work. Ill carry it over to harry nolls myself. Dorothy, this dinner has been a lifesaver. Anybody for more coffee . No thanks, hazel. Illave some, please, hazel. Dorothy, once again let me tell you how much we appreciate your inviting us over for dinner tonight. Oh, the pleasure is all ours. Of course it is. Rita shouldnt have to cook after all that work moving into a house. Of course not. On moving day, most people go to a restaurant. And incidentally, theres a very good one on the other side of the park. Fortunately, living next door like this, we can have the pleasure of your company. And we certainly appreciate your letting us have that bed. Boy, am i gonna sleep tonight me too, im bushed i mowed the lawn all day all day . yes, hazel, i noticed that. You cut that lawn once, you cut it ten times. Im a perfectionist. She wanted to see what the moving men took into your house. Okay, so im curious. Well, if youll excuse us, i think wed better be getting back next door. Weve got a million things to straighten out and put away. Its terribly rude to rush off like this, but everything over there is in such a shambles. Dont feel guilty, we understand. Now dont forget, dorothy, im depending on you and your good taste to help me decorate my home. Im looking forward to it. Good night, all. Night. Oh harry, you go on. Ill be along in a minute. Hazel, before i go, uh, privately . Oh, oh yeah, sure. Lets just step into the den. Youll excuse us. Oh, certainly, rita. Hazel, i want to ask you for your help. Oh, sure, anything i can do, just name it. George the idea for years, youve been criticizing hazel for eavesdropping, and now youre doing the very same thing yourself. Come on. Dorothy, you know what ritas gonna try to do, dont you . Shes gonna try to get hazel to do a lot of her house work, on my time. Well, harry and i have only been married a few weeks, and i do so want to make a success of this marriage. One year. Thats how long i give that marriage, one year. George, thats a horrible thought to have for a newly married couple. A guy whos been a playboy all his life suddenly marries a professional singer . Theyre just not geared for domestic life. Marriage is something so new to me. Ive already had my success as a singer. Now i want to be a success as a wife, and thats why i need your help. Oh, well, if hazels gonna help, six months. Thats how long i give that marriage, six months. I want our marriage to be like george and dorothys. I want you to help me be like dorothy. Isnt rita sweet . And i want you to do for harry what youve done for george. Im very fond of harry, but i dont want to wish that on him. Youve created an atmosphere in their home. Atmosphere . Is that what they call it . I thought the word was catastrophe. Its true, their marriage is the most important thing in the world to me. I suppose every now and then i get under mr. Bs skin, but really down inside, he knows i love him. He knows. Oh, sure, he knows. It aint the sort of thing you can put into words, its love, and he knows. Well, lets get the dishes off the table. You pay your Car Insurance premium like clockwork. Month after month. Year after year. Then one night, you hydroplane into a ditch. Yeah. Surprise. Your Insurance Company tells you to pay up again. Why pay for insurance if you have to pay even more for using it . If you have Liberty Mutual deductible fund , you could pay no deductible at all. Sign up to immediately lower your deductible by 100. And keep lowering it 100 annually, until its gone. Then continue to earn that 100 every year. Theres no limit to how much you can earn and this savings applies to every vehicle on your policy. Call switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509. Call Liberty Mutual for a free quote today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Liberty mutual insurance. Darling, we cant just sit here like this all day. Why not . Because weve got all these things to put away. Weve got all the rest of our lives to do that. Mmm, no. Why dont we get hazel to do it . Because hazel works for george. Shes got enough to do to run his house. Now, harry look, this chest of drawers that you brought from your bachelor apartment. It simply wont work here in the bedroom. There isnt enough room for it. Well put it in the guest room. Lets transfer your things to the new dresser. All right, dear. Why did you wait so long to get married . I was waiting for you. You really cant expect me to believe that. Its true. All my life, i lived like a hermit, just waiting for you. [chuckles] harry. You know, i wasnt born yesterday myself. I know thereve been girls in your life. I suppose i should be ashamed of it, but until you, theres never been any real romance in my life. No, not a hint of it. I buried myself in my law work. Pretty girl happened to pass by, i was too busy even to notice it. I you what, dear . You what, dear . Where are you going . I think i heard the telephone ringing. What telephone . I better answer it. Hi mr. Noll, i brought you another trash can. Aint that something . So in love, he dont know anybody else is alive. Dorothy, our phone hasnt been installed yet. May i use yours . Of course harry, right there. Ill use the one in the hall. Its personal. And how, its personal. Mr. Nolls office. Susan, this is mr. Noll. Oh, hello, harry. Please, susan. Since im married, not harry. Mr. Noll. Yes, harry. I mean, mr. Noll. Susan, i let you and your roommate use my apartment for a month while i was in europe, remember . Naturally i remember. They were redecorating our place, and when you did you or your roommate leave a chiffon negligee in the bottom drawer of my chest of drawers . You found it then you did we couldnt find it any place. My roommate thought your cleaning woman took it, but we didnt say anything about it because we didnt want to get anybody into any trouble. Oh, you didnt want to get anybody into any trouble. Oh, good morning, hazel. Good morning, mrs. Noll. Look at this. Whered you get that . In the trash can. Really . Well, itits very beautiful, isnt it. Oh, sure, its real amour du jour amour stuff. You didnt wanna throw it out, did you . Sometimes these things get mixed in with the trash. Mmm. I sorta had a hunch mr. Noll made a mistake. Hmm. Hazel, i have a hunch your hunch was right. Dear. That negligee was practically new. Mr. Noll must have picked it up with some other stuff and dumped it in the trash can. For heavens sakes. Boy, he aint much of a lawyer if he aint more wide awake than that. Boy, that musta cost 30 or 40 bucks if it cost a dime, that negligee. Well, if george ever did a thing like that to me, he would never hear the end of it. Fortunately, i was on my toes. And i guess after this, mr. Nolls gonna be, too. Did rita get mad at harry for doing such a thing . No, she had the sweetest smile when i told her. Not a cross word. Wheres george . Harry, what wheres george . Hes gone to the office. I have to talk to him. I dont think hes there yet, harry. How soon will he be there . Well, it depends on whether or not he stops somewhere on the way. Mr. Noll, im fixing some chicken noodle soup for you and mrs. Noll for lunch. Itll be ready just as soon as the water boils. Oh good, thats just what i need. Some more hot water. Hazel thought shed cook it here and then bring it over. She wasnt sure whether your gas was on. Take my word for it, the gas is on. Harry, whats the matter . Youre not your usual cheery self. That negligee she gave my wife belongs to my secretary your secretary . what was it doing in the trash can . Thats what ive been trying to explain to my wife for the last half hour. Oh, mr. Baxter yes, susan . Thank goodness youre here. Why . Whats the trouble . Judge cafferty called about ten minutes ago and wanted to speak to mr. Noll, but i cant reach him. Well, what was it about . Do you know . He wants to examine the pretrial testimony of the wilson versus hamilton case. He needs it right away. Oh. Well, technically mr. Noll is still on his honeymoon, so ill handle it. Bring the testimony in here. Ill check it and see that judge cafferty gets it right away. Thats the trouble. What do you mean . We dont have a copy of the testimony in our files. Well, where is it . Its at mr. Nolls home. At his home . I just came into the office dont tell me i have to go all the way home again. I could go get it for you. No, there isnt time for that. I have to check it, then judge cafferty has to read it. I can go with you, and when you finish, ill take it to him. Thats a good idea. Come with me. Thank you. Besides, im curious to see what his new wife looks like. Well, if anyone else is curious about meeting the newlyweds, just tell em to drop around my house any time, night or day. Theyre always there. Did mr. Baxter say where he was going . I see. He came in the office and went right out again. Oh, im terribly sorry, mr. Noll. When i found the negligee, i didnt have the slightest idea youre not the one that needs the idea. Im the one that needs an idea i think ive got it. What is it . Well, suppose you two go over to my house, to sort of help rita straighten things up, you know. Shes been asking questions about my secretary, but shes never seen her. Suppose you casually start to describe my secretary. Mention the fact that shes 62 years old. Harry 62 years old. Mention that shes been with the firm since it was founded, back in 1800 wait a minute, if she was with the firm back in the 1800s, she must be over 62 by now. Good, good, the older the better and you dont have to overdo it. Just describe her as an attractive grayhaired woman with a moustache, sort of like mine. Harry, dont be preposterous. Describe her as the motherly type. Now listen, harry, you said that you let your secretary and her roommate use your apartment while you were in europe. Yes, theirs was being redecorated. Well, one or the other left a negligee by mistake. Theres nothing wrong in that. Unless you make something wrong out of it. Where you pulled a boner was trying to hide it. As you see, you created suspicion where there was no need for it. I know your secretary, harry. Shes a very lovely girl. Just because she called you by your first name dont mean its a great big romance. My secretary is 62 years old. No, harry you have to go over there and get everything straightened out with rita. Yes, and tell the truth. Oh, yes, i suppose its the thing to do. The only thing. Admit that susan is pretty. Ill do it. So shes young and pretty. Whats the harm in being young and pretty . Ill do it. Well go over with you and back you up. Keep everything open and above board. Shell admire you for it. Ill do it. If i once start lying, ill never be able to stop. Im going to get this marriage back on an even keel. Rita, darling. Dont forget, harry, tell the truth. And nothing but the truth. I know. Its the only way. Oh, hello, dorothy. Hazel. Mrs. Noll, your husbands got something he wants to tell you. Ill bet. Darling, about that negligee, im going to tell you precisely what happened. It aint as bad as it seems, you know. It aint even bad at all. When i was in europe a few months ago, her own was being redecorated. Somehow or other, she left her negligee in my dresser. It was all perfectly innocent. Especially when you consider that my secretary is 62 years old. Oh . I didnt know that. We never thought it was necessary to mention it. Shes been with the firm for years and years and years. And years. She knows how valuable she is to us. In fact, she knows more about whats going on in the office than any of us. Last year on her birthday, when she was 72, all the fellows in the office chipped in 72 . I thought you just said she was 62. Well, you know how ladies are. Sometimes they shave a few years off. 72 is the correct figure. Hazel, will you stop punching me . dad dad what is it, son . I saw your car drive up just as the phone rang. Its your office, they want to talk to you about Something Real important. Oh, all right. Come along with me. Oh, harold, son, will you ask mr. Noll to come over to the house . Tell him i wanna see him. Okay. What on earth is the matter . The three of you are staring at that front door as though you expected a tornado to hit. [doorbell rings] its hit. Hello. Hi, harold. Dad just got home from work. He wants mr. Noll to come over to the house right away. All right, ill tell him. Mrs. Noll, you got any smelling salts . Hi, im leeza gibons with an amazing story about how philips lifeline gives betty white peace of mind and gave my father a Second Chance at life. Daddy is invincible. Thats how we want to think about our parents. Knowing that dad lives alone, we worry. Thats why was so hard for all of us when he had his heart attack. I wasnt feeling well that day. The heart attack hit me, i fell to the floor, and i was trying to crawl back to the bed. Of course in excruciating pain. 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Im proud to wear my philips lifeline. Shows that im smart enough to take care of my self. Innovation and you. With philips Lifeline MedicalAlert Service you get fast, easy access to help 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call today or visit www. Philipslifeline. Com dont wait i mean why dont take the chance 72 years old . Harry, i dont care what kind of a jam youre in at home. I want that pretrial testimony in the wilsonhamilton case. You told your wife i was 72 years old . not you, i said my secretary was. Ive got to let you go and find a 72 year old secretary. Oh, you cant do that, mr. Noll, it aint her fault. Youd fire me to back up a lie you told your wife . I have to if a man has no integrity, he has nothing. When i tell a lie, i stick to it. Mr. Baxter, im warning you, if he fires me on grounds like that, every secretary in that office will walk out. Now wait a minute they will hes not firing you i have to, george i have to have a 72 year old secretary. If i go, every secretary will go with me. Will someone please tell me who started this mess . I just hope i never see another trash can as long as i live. I know what his secretary looks like. There, theres a picture of her in his album. The two of them in bathing suits. Oh, rita. Wellpreserved for 72, isnt she . I hope i look that young when im that age. He wanted to hide anything, he shouldve hidden this album. Rita, i know his secretary. I know her very well. Shes a really lovely girl. I dont doubt it. Thats not what im mad about. Why did he have to tell me shes 72 years old . he wanted to tell you the truth. He tried to tell you the truth. He just couldnt get up the nerve. Now thats what im mad about. Hes acting as though im some kind of greeneyed, shrewish, jealous monster. Its a reflection on me. I want that pretrial testimony. Judge cafferty is waiting for it. Now get going im going, im going if you wont introduce your secretary to your wife, i will, and let the chips fall where they may. Ill be right back with the testimony. And the chips. George, we left them kissing and making up. Oh sure, everythings gonna be peachy. Rita knew all along susan was young and pretty. She saw your picture in harrys photograph album. Now all he has to do is explain the other 20 girls in the album. [all laughing] well, ive checked all the testimony. Now get this over to judge cafferty as soon as you can. Oh, yes sir. Bye mrs. Baxter, hazel. Goodbye, susan. And after all, george, rita had asked hazel to help them make their marriage as successful as ours has been. So i talked some sense into them. Yup, i got em all figured out. Im just gonna drench that house with love