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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20121221

Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is, your moment of zen. Well bring you more on the Oreilly Factor and the atheists in a moment. Our god is an awesome god he reigns in heaven above captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [the colbert report theme music playing] [eagle caw] [cheers and applause] stephen welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting see it fens name] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. In return i want to wish all of you a merry christchristmas. I say it that way, so if the atheists try to take the christ out of christmas, theres still one left. [ laughter ] and as you can see, my set is fully decked for the season. Ive got my historicallyaccurate nativity scene featuring mary, joseph, frosty, and the abominable snowman. [ laughter ] i didnt include Optimus Prime because he does not appear in the king james version. [

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20121213

Jon thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is, your moment of zen. Well bring you more on the Oreilly Factor and the atheists in a moment. Our god is an awesome god he reigns in heaven above captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [the colbert report theme music playing] [eagle caw] [cheers and applause] stephen welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting see it fens name] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. In return i want to wish all of you a merry christchristmas. I say it that way, so if the atheists try to take the christ out of christmas, theres still one left. [ laughter ] and as you can see, my set is fully decked for the season. Ive got my historicallyaccurate nativity scene featuring mary, joseph, frosty, and the abominable snowman. [ laughter ] i didnt include Optimus Prime because he does not appear in the ki

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20121222

Tosh gay . This is what the world needs an answer too. Let it go my little monsters. Here is what happens when you type in can you. Can you get pregnant from [beep] . The answer is a big yes. Of all forms of pre the most potent and tangiest. If you type in were there. Here is what comes up were there black people on the titannics . Were their white slaves . Were their gay president s . Whats wrong with the country, this great questions. Lets do this with images. If you type in probably smells kpwad what do you think the first picture is . Rihanna . I would like to get her stank all over me. If you type in haopbd so many comedians. You get 34 pages of results and im not on a single one. Thats horse [beep]. Maybe i need to get more specific with my search. Sexy white comedians named daniel im fourth. [laughing] so, in conclusion google is garbage and im tanging my business to binge. Good night. I hope you enjoy all of the work that went into this quality production. [the colbert report t

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20121213

Captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [the colbert report theme music playing] [eagle caw] [cheers and applause] stephen welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting see it fens name] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. In return i want to wish all of you a merry christchristmas. I say it that way, so if the atheists try to take the christ out of christmas, theres still one left. [ laughter ] and as you can see, my set is fully decked for the season. Ive got my historicallyaccurate nativity scene featuring mary, joseph, frosty, and the abominable snowman. [ laughter ] i didnt include Optimus Prime because he does not appear in the king james version. [ laughter ] and instead of the baby jesus in the cradle, i have my book american again rebecoming the greatness we never werent. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] folks, i want you to know unlike jesus, with my book, you wont ha

Transcripts For CSPAN Public Affairs 20121025

His ballot. Romney campaigning throughout ohio today then hes in worthing on the industries and later the northwestern part of the state. Now live at 1 15 eastern well bring you president obama in richmond live here on cspan. Would you support military action in iran . If need be, yes. As a last option, yes 6789 under what conditions . If sanctions dont work. If they are about to have the ability to develop a nuclear bomb, we use every option possible as would israel and that would be the last option wed use. I think we stand with israel and do not let them develop a nuclear weapon. Under what conditions would you recommend it . I dont know right now but we better exhaust everything else. And at the end of the day if that is what is needed, im still serving. Ill be the first volunteer but were going to have a darn honest discussion about what is needed. With less than two weeks before the election follow the races on cspan in campaign 2012. Tonight live coverage with several debates wh

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