Man doesn t realise he is a practise date thedailymash.co.uk - get the latest breaking news, showbiz & celebrity photos, sport news & rumours, viral videos and top stories from thedailymash.co.uk Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday newspapers.
Woman can t be arsed with eating outside if it s only with her boyfriend 16th April 2021
A WOMAN cannot be bothered to sit in the cold outside a restaurant now that restrictions have lifted if the only person eating with her is her boyfriend.
Lucy Parry’s boyfriend Jack Browne asked if she would like to go out for a romantic meal only to be informed that he is not worth freezing her tits off for.
Parry said: “If it was one of the mates that I haven’t been able to get pissed with for months asking me out to dinner, I’d be there like a shot.
Man returns to gym to flex his smugness thedailymash.co.uk - get the latest breaking news, showbiz & celebrity photos, sport news & rumours, viral videos and top stories from thedailymash.co.uk Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday newspapers.
Man regrets building entire identity around moustache 19th February 2021
A MAN has admitted he regrets building his entire identity around his large waxed moustache.
Jack Browne of Bristol has an impressive moustache along with moustache-themed clothing, home decor, dinnerware and a host of moustache-grooming products, most of which are now largely redundant.
He said: “It’s really an impressive moustache. People used to say that to me. Now I say it to myself, in the mirror, trying to hold back tears.
“The thing is, having a physical attribute that people remark on was as good as a personality in the old world. In lockdown, it’s just a comedy Zoom filter that you can’t remove.
Arsehole calls cheese sandwich his lunch game thedailymash.co.uk - get the latest breaking news, showbiz & celebrity photos, sport news & rumours, viral videos and top stories from thedailymash.co.uk Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday newspapers.