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Transcripts For CNN The Mark Twain Prize for American Humor 20240706

ride off 9 70 30. oh, yeah. the night to the center. that s why it s on cnn. the show. six susie and man s as low as well above. shop observer of human. david hasselhoff space. see you. girl. man puts fishies in history. thanks friends. alan do see speed over schneider and the boosh share me. that s to pee in his pants. just to stay until. it s jennifer drew but laid his wife or would not getting to first base in real life. yeah so many jews. can you switches channels? crisis rather than the wrong! because his brother has a penis . gave us. happy to you. stop looking at me. thank you. this is how you win them from standing judas beauty and we cheat. at the tween and in his grave, at least spit. there s no one like you said. youtube you make us laugh, keep straight employed. you make me proud to be a jew. you deserve this elaborate club for return. 24 human. i am the smartest man alive. prices wrong! you re out. doyle rules. now you re all in big, big trouble. i want you to m

Transcripts For CNN The Mark Twain Prize for American Humor 20240706

is here. mood to peter. deductions don t get this corgi found out you can ride off 9 70 30. oh, yeah. all that name. to the center. that s why it s on cnn. e the show. six susie anderman says low as well. yeah observer of you men. david hasselhoff. senior girl. puts fishies in history. friends. do you see me over? schneider and boucher share me. have to pee in his pants. just to stay until. it s jennifer drew, but later his wife or would not getting to first base in real life. together many jews switches channel. it s like crisis rather than. the price is wrong. because his brother has a penis. his anger gave us. happy. to stop looking at me. this is how you win them from standing judas beauty and we cheat. had the training in his grave spin. there s no one like you. no youtube. you make this laugh. keep straight employed. you make me proud to be june. you deserve to return. so respect. 20. the smartest man alive. prices wrong! you re out. doyle rules. now you re all in big,

Transcripts For CNN CNN Tonight 20240707

prime minister liz truss today setting the women s and men s indoor speed record for duration of a prime minister, only 44 days in office, that is not even her abrupt resignation earlier today throws our closest ally even further into chaos. now that our friends across the pond weren t able to find any humor in this instability, the economist magazine pointedly wondered which would last longer, liz truss s prime ministership or a perishable ahead of iceberg lettuce, a youtube live stream puts this theory to the test six days ago. well, lettuce, liz, is still standing. when folks start invoking solid items when discussing how long it will last at her job, at some point it becomes a feta complaint. but let us move on. how could six weeks ago so horribly wrong? liz truss s is fall from power exhilarated after she introduced trussonomics, a plan for massive tax cuts aimed at the wealthiest britons so that they could create jobs, she said. essentially, trickle down economics. th

Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240706

after all you want a beach bod not a bank by the body. [laughter] summit get this guy a training bra. [laughter] he is a 30-year-old guy with the body of kathy bates. speaking bank did you hear what s happening at goldman sach s? see transition everybody? there is a recession becomes reality and layoffs loom theg do perks that would used to enjoy it your job are disappearing i s faster than it will be goldberg s jewish fan base. [laughter] according to the new yorking they are taking away their free coffee perks for the goldman sach s employees. i know, stop the presses., or at least the frenchat presse. [laughter] w i knowhy. d that is why i sit here and you are in the audience. [laughter] so now those bankers will have to pay for it like the rest of us, just like i do for those massages. milt hemmer has such strong hands. sadly as in your post reports goldman sach s employees returned to work on tuesday tot find out they would have to pay for their crappy coffee, that is

Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240706

awesome fans and my razor wi t and my wash board apes, according to the news site cnn is reportedly considering hiring a comedian to host one of its primetime shows. makes sense. the network is still a joke. that s mean. apparently some floated names including bill mar, trevor noah and john stewart. what? no elaine boozler. but if they want comedy they should launch that more than the crow stapled to chris wallace s. they went ahead and ruined it. i m talking, of course, about the golden aiming of comedy. chris cuomo, don lenin, perhaps as they are known in the business, the three stooges. those were the days, right? now everything is ruined. chris lost his kid after trying to help his brother andrew fend off a sexual harassment scandal which is like having alec baldwin teach you gun safety. hey, kill the lady. and linen lost his primetime gig because he comes off as real as this guy s breasts. and no offense to that guy and his giant fake [ bleep ] he s a global treasure

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