Santa claus is coming too fast, the naughty elf about an elf on a shelf watching you have sex on a sink. And a threesome for christmas, but the women dont kiss. Time to get your sugar plums off and your nuts cracked. Hallmark after dark. We realize weve gone too far, but were panicking over here. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes aaron paul and musical guest idina menzel, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen hey how are ya . Beautiful cheers and applause lovely hey hello, jon happy monday whats going on, lewis, jon audience chanting stephen come on come on cheers and applause just keep going piano riff whats up . Welcome one and all to the late show. Welcome, everybody. Im your host Stephen Colbert. It is december already, i cant believe it. Its december 16th. The holidays are bearing down on us like a pack of
Z23aoz zi0z y23aoy yi0y these are grillers. And we make them at johnsonville. Theyve got way more flavor than ordinary burgers. Flavors like bacon and cheddar and steakhouse onion. People who try em, love em. After mirror low 90s today we go mid that is our harvesting 94 but the same saturday before we z23eiz zvpz y23eiy yvpy captioning sponsored by cbs stephen senator kaine, thanks so much for being here. Absolutely. Stephen its so exciting to have a potential veep on. Im a big fan. I never miss an episode of whispering the late show. The late show with whispering Stephen Colbert. Stephen colbert. Stephen thanks have you met my other guest, the great tony hale from hbo . Yes, i love his show inaudible ah. What . Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes tim kaine, mark strassmann, tony hale and car seat headrest. From new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Stephen hey thanks, everybody whoo whats going on . cheers and applause cheers and appla
Here it is, your moment of zen. I watch the news because im a kid. Apparently grandpa just gives me the remote, i have to watch the powerball. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Mwa folks i cant stop these people. I cant stop them. cheers and applause . Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, weve got a big show to do. Folks, weve got a big show to do. I know. I would try to stop you from chanting but we know what happens when someone tries to stop the colbert nation. cheers these people are locked and loaded. Folks, speaking of which, you know im a proud supporter of the second amendment. I consider it first among amendments that arent the first one. laughter
Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Mwa folks i cant stop these people. I cant stop them. cheers and applause . Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, weve got a big show to do. Folks, weve got a big show to do. I know. I would try to stop you from chanting but we know what happens when someone tries to stop the colbert nation. cheers these people are locked and loaded. Folks, speaking of which, you know im a proud supporter of the second amendment. I consider it first among amendments that arent the first one. laughter these days we gun advocates are being treated like common crim nalz. A 54yearold Research Doctor arrested after he entered an airport terminal carrying an Assault Rifle. Dr. Peter steinmetz was carrying an ar15 over his shoulder when he was taken into custody last week. He told police he visited the airport to simply buy a cup of coffee. laughter stephen, of course. You gotta go to the airport for coffee. Airports are to coff
You gotta go to the airport for coffee. Airports are to coffee as bus stations are to nachos. laughter and, yes, steinmetz may have pointed an ar15 Assault Rifle in the direction of a mother and her teenaged daughter, so obviously were not looking at a brain surgeon here. Hes technically a top neuroscientist. Perhaps hes studying the part of the brain that overrides impulse control. The point is, arrests like this are pure discrimination, and that hurts the children. Fortunately, two gun lovers have written a new Childrens Book to help kids understand the open carry lifestyle. Its called my parents carry. laughter it tells the heartwarming story of brenna, her mom, and what looks like her other mom wearing a mustache. laughter unlike other parents, brennas mom and dad carry loaded weapons openly, which might make her feel different, but her father reassures her that, brenna, there is evil in this world and we want to protect you the best we can. When seconds count, the police are minut