Experience, to be honest with you. Like, if you dont want to be irritated or you get easily irritated, please do not watch the Republican National convention. If your Mental Health is right on the edge of you going crazy, do not watch the Republican National convention. If you got high blood pressure, please, do not watch, it is way too much going on there. First of all, donald trump has his whole family speaking. Like i didnt even know Tiffany Trump existed. I dont even know what she does for real. But she was speaking at this convention, and this is so weird. It is so many random speakers. One of the speakers, and its not necessarily random, but yeah, it is random, i will say that. Last year, there was a group of protesters at the washington monument, an elder nativeamerican and a faceoff between him and this young maga kid, you know, maga is make America Great again. He had his red hat on, making that weird smirk on his face, like a little jerk, like this is crazy, and that hat, man
3 nba championships and thousands of human rights violations. Its weird. Im used to performing in front of big, loving audiences in rooms filled with applause and laughter. Now here i am doing a show alone in an empty house, and the slight wrinkling of a masked cameramans eyes is the only way i can tell if any of this is funny and i see a smattering of wrinkle. All right. But not to worry, if anything goes wrong tonight, i have a great understudy standing by. Hows it going, guillermo . Guillermo im doing good. Youre doing a wonderful job. Ah, guillermo, you tease. Ive always wanted to know, whats your favorite broadway show . Guillermo aladdin. Well guillermo, you aint never had a friend like me just kidding you probably have many dear friends. Im sorry if i made assumptions. Broadway, sadly, is closed at least through the end of the year. Theres no shows, the tony awards were postponed. Which is a shame because thats where most gay highschoolers get their yearbook quotes. Some kids qu
Working and im truly grateful. A lot has been put into perspective during covid. I think were all feeling more grateful for our loved ones, and were aware of the fragility of life and the need to really look out for one another. Which is why im happy to fill in for jimmy so he could spend the summer catching exactly four fish. Come on, jumyy jimmy do better. All kidding aside, i love you jimmy. Actually, fun fact, between me and jimmy, together we have won seven naacp image awards. Thats true, look it up. And another fun fact, we are currently nominated for an emmy together for our work on live in front of a studio audience. I just love working with jimmy. Anng through his instagram. So listen theres a lot going on in america right now. I dont even know how you find the funny. I never thought id see the day when im having panic attacks thinking about the us postal service, but ladies and gentlemen thats 2020 for ya. The Democratic National convention got underway today, which i will be
Improvement. We have to enjoy tiktok while we still got it. Because the president wants to get rid of it. No one really knows why. Personally i think its because he tried the im a savage dance and got zero likes. But losing tiktok would be disastrous. Without it, where else would we spend time on the internet . Besides youtube, twitter, facebook, instagram, linkedin and snapchat . Welp, at least i can fall back on my music career. Theres a lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and you get married or whatever its gonna be weird to explain that to your kids one day. Well son, i was tryin
Maybe it would. Maybe it wont. What the hell do you got to lose . Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight home sweet show plus, stephen welcomes conan obrien. And musical guest michael stipe. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen oh, hey i was just pretending i could be at home without a camera. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Happy to be here. Happy. Tuesday, i think . It is tuesday. Good. Thank you, thank you, sir. I dont always know. Im so grateful that im still able to do a show for you guys and for all of you out there who are watching, one assumes. Its possible my producers are lying to me that were broadcasting at all. Sure, stephen, weve put a van on n. It talks to space. Now take a shower and shout into your phone. Whatever. Im grateful for something to do. Now, there is one aspect of the show that i have really been missing and that is my conversations with our friend