I figured if you were going to the studio today youd want to go with me . Maybe i would, yeah. Oh, im very interested in the technical stuff and the equipment they have there. I like that, especially if its imported from italy . Yeah. Well, if youll excuse me. I have to take some breakfast up to your father. Boy, would i like to trample grapes with her. Tell me ronnie, why is it all those italian actresses have such beautiful shapes. Well, its because of their diet. You know, the italian people eat a lot of olives and you know how round olives are. Well the girls i wind up with must eat nothing but celery. Well, look, all i care about is kathy. This business with marie is just a publicity stunt. doorbell i wish someone else would take her out. You just got yourself a stand in. Oh, kathy. Ron burns, i just came over here to tell you i never want to talk to you again. Hi, kathy. Its nothing. Nothing . Look at that picture, you standing there leaning over that italian girl like the tower
Well, ronnie, why are you throwing your arms around bonnie sue . Brian is the one whos graduating. Oh yeah, i got mixed up. Brian dont you dare. laughing congratulations anyway. Bonnie sue, you ready to go to lunch . I certainly am. Brian, would you like to go with us . Well, no thank you, ronnie, i think i better stay here. Id kinda like to talk to your mother. Oh, alright, come on bonnie sue. [gracie] uh, ronnie . Did your father like the tie, or are you going dutch . Well, let me put it this way. He liked the tie, but loved my exit. laughing now what is it, brian . Well, i got a real bad problem. You see, i aint gonna graduate at all. Youre not . I thought i was. I studied hard for all the exams. I had me all the right answers, but they didnt ask me the questions to fit em. laughing oh, this is terrible. [brian] it sure is, especially since there he is over at the hotel, hes phoning all his friends on the long distance, and hes bragging to each one for at least a half a hour. There
But we dont do one thing to encourage them. You know, youre right blanche. Now take george. I doubt if hes had dinner by candlelight since electricity came in. Well, i for one am going to do something about it. Well, if you want to do it for one, do it. But im going to include george and do it for two. Its more fun that way. audience laughter now i am going. Gracie, is breakfast ready . Im starved. It certainly is, lover. audience laughter lover, at 8 00 in the morning . She must have said liver. Bacon is delicious for breakfast. Dear, sit here. Candlelight . Well, no dear, but candlelight is so much more romantic. In fact, it almost matches my fiery moods. Hows that . Well thats real nice, but i had my heart set on some fried liver. Oh, george, look at my gown. Doesnt it do something to you . Its beautiful. Oh, well, before i put on my apron, how do you like the back of it . Well, the back and the front would look better if i could see them over a piece of fried liver. Oh, dear. For a
I leaned over to ralph and i said ralph, ive just got to know the name of this beautiful number. And ralph said well if you want to know her name why dont you ask her . And so she giggled and said eileen. You and ralph pulled this line before. Yeah, but never at an allbrahms concert. laughter well its an interesting story, but whats your problem . Oh, well you see i went to meet her folks the other day, and theyre strictly pasadena society. And i invited eileen here for dinner to meet you and mother. Oh, were your problem. Oh no no, no, youre wonderful. Were nice people, yes. But it seems that everything happens in this house. Last time i brought a girl home, mr. Von zell showed up with an indian in full warpaint. laughter and the next time mother locked my professor in the closet. Ronnie, if those things didnt happen in this house, we wouldnt have one. Look dad, i wanted it to go light. You see this girl means an awful lot to me. I understand, ronnie. Nothingll happen to break up this
My dear mr. Burns, my wife is another gracie allen, and im sure you could use what she said the other night when i came home from work. Well, i didnt finish the letter. I knew right away she wasnt another gracie allen. If she was, she wouldnt be working. audience laughing but i wish you could meet my four writers. When you get to know them, writers are very much like people. Theyre affected by the way they feel. For instance, if one of my married writers should come in with an idea for a story about a husband being kicked around by his wife, i know right away hes temporarily having trouble at home. And if my other married writers think the idea is funny, theyre not having trouble. Thats a temporary condition too. audience laughing then ive got one who plays the horses. If he has a bad week, his jokes arent very funny. If he has a good week, he doesnt write at all because he doesnt need the money. audience laughing that last joke is his. Hes been on a bad losing streak. Entirely on writ