I leaned over to ralph and i said ralph, ive just got to know the name of this beautiful number. And ralph said well if you want to know her name why dont you ask her . And so she giggled and said eileen. You and ralph pulled this line before. Yeah, but never at an allbrahms concert. laughter well its an interesting story, but whats your problem . Oh, well you see i went to meet her folks the other day, and theyre strictly pasadena society. And i invited eileen here for dinner to meet you and mother. Oh, were your problem. Oh no no, no, youre wonderful. Were nice people, yes. But it seems that everything happens in this house. Last time i brought a girl home, mr. Von zell showed up with an indian in full warpaint. laughter and the next time mother locked my professor in the closet. Ronnie, if those things didnt happen in this house, we wouldnt have one. Look dad, i wanted it to go light. You see this girl means an awful lot to me. I understand, ronnie. Nothingll happen to break up this
My dear mr. Burns, my wife is another gracie allen, and im sure you could use what she said the other night when i came home from work. Well, i didnt finish the letter. I knew right away she wasnt another gracie allen. If she was, she wouldnt be working. audience laughing but i wish you could meet my four writers. When you get to know them, writers are very much like people. Theyre affected by the way they feel. For instance, if one of my married writers should come in with an idea for a story about a husband being kicked around by his wife, i know right away hes temporarily having trouble at home. And if my other married writers think the idea is funny, theyre not having trouble. Thats a temporary condition too. audience laughing then ive got one who plays the horses. If he has a bad week, his jokes arent very funny. If he has a good week, he doesnt write at all because he doesnt need the money. audience laughing that last joke is his. Hes been on a bad losing streak. Entirely on writ
Such lovely grownup daughters. What do you girls do . Well, were models. Yes, i model coats. I model dresses. I model undies. Im not working. I dont blame you. audience laughs [june] whos this . Does he live here . Oh, yes, thats my son ronnie. girls gasp isnt he handsome . He is nice. [all] real nice. audience laughs well, just put your things up in the guest room at the head of the stairs. The housell be a little crowded, so ill figure out where to put my husband later. audience laughs girls chattering well, now mrs. Burns, the reason im going to san diego is because i feel that my daughters need a mother. Now my cousin wrote me from down there that theres a little widow who is just as anxious to remarry as i am. phone rings oh, excuse me. Hello . Hello, this is the longdistance operator. I have a call from omaha for mrs. Blanche morton. Mrs. Morton . I was told to try your house. Well, she isnt here. What do you want to speak to her about . I dont want to speak to her, its her husba