Like, pumpernickel is a funny word. Except for people who make white bread. And freeway is a funny word, which is a good thing to know. In case youre stuck on one for seven or eight hours, you can sit there and laugh. audience laughs another comedy word is motherinlaw and hotrod. And of course, smog and brooklyn. My writers once wrote me a surefire gag. It went Something Like this. A man driving a pumpernickel truck got lost in the smog on the freeway. And hit a hotrod driven by a motherinlaw. audience laughs it didnt get a laugh. Forgot to use the word brooklyn. audience laughs see, its foolproof. When gracie and i first started in vaudeville, i was supposed to tell all the jokes. And our opening was supposed to be where we did that real old classic. Id say my family were in the iron and steel business. And gracie was supposed to say really . And id say, yeah, my mother irons and my father steals. We walked on the stage that night. In the iron and steel business. And she started to la
My dear mr. Burns, my wife is another gracie allen, and im sure you could use what she said the other night when i came home from work. Well, i didnt finish the letter. I knew right away she wasnt another gracie allen. If she was, she wouldnt be working. audience laughing but i wish you could meet my four writers. When you get to know them, writers are very much like people. Theyre affected by the way they feel. For instance, if one of my married writers should come in with an idea for a story about a husband being kicked around by his wife, i know right away hes temporarily having trouble at home. And if my other married writers think the idea is funny, theyre not having trouble. Thats a temporary condition too. audience laughing then ive got one who plays the horses. If he has a bad week, his jokes arent very funny. If he has a good week, he doesnt write at all because he doesnt need the money. audience laughing that last joke is his. Hes been on a bad losing streak. Entirely on writ