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An inch of snow has fallen on Nashville, so naturally we’re all asking ourselves some hard questions: Will I survive this? Will I ever be able to leave my home again? Was 12 loaves of bread too many? What should I do with these 16 gallons of milk? Will anyone ever love me? While you contemplate the deep mysteries of existence, why not tune into
The Bachelor? There is literally nothing else to be done in your life right now. This show is all you have left.
Before we dive into the episode, I’d like to acknowledge what’s been happening in Bachelor Nation over the past week or so. If you’re a person who actually has a life, you might not have heard what’s been going on off-screen this season. I have a little bit of a life (not much, but some) and I genuinely don t care about any of these people at all so I haven’t been paying that close attention either, but here’s the gist (I m including a lot of links so you can read more about this yourse
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While we all wait on pins and needles to see if the United States of America will be renewed for another season, there’s something far more perilous at stake than democracy love. Will insanely ripped Instagram model Matt find it in the woods of Pennsylvania? Or will he be doomed to spend his existence being extremely hot and famous online and dating extremely hot women in the real world? Who can tell? The uncertainty is killing me!
In case you had any question about whether or not this show was just an extension of Matt’s Instagram account, we start with a closeup of the Peloton logo while Matt “works out.” #ad It gets a little soft-core after that with a slow motion shower scene. I feel like I’m watching the Duke of Hastings lightly caress his chest while Lady Bridgerton’s bosom is heaving.