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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

David chang, musical guest Lady Antebellum, and the legendary roots crew its the tonight show at home edition. And now, heres jimmy. Jimmy hey everybody, welcome to tonight show at home edition my name is jimmy fallon. Thank you very much. It is day 59 of quarantine 59, i believe. Thats the number going out there. So, almost 60. Tomorrow is 60 days in quarantine im staying at home. Im wearing my mask if i do go out, which is rare im walking my dog my dog, gary, was faking a limp today. She was she didnt want to walk as long as i wanted i go, gary, come on. This is a thing. She started, like, limping i go, all right, no problem. So, i try to walk her home really slow, stopping on the way. Then once we got home running around nothing, like Nothing Happened lets get to some jokes here guys, if things arent crazy enough, this weekend, it snowed in new york city weve been quarantined for so long, most new yorkers woke up like, holy crap i slept through the summer. Yeah what season is it . L

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

The daily social distancing show. Z. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distances show with trevor noah. Trevor lately the news has been darker than the inside of Rudy Giulianis sarcophagus. But every now and then it is nice to let some brightness in with an ongoing segment we call ray of ray of sunshine. Lets kick things off in germany. One of the first countries to reopen and the place that ruined tiny mustaches for the rest of us. One nonhuman victim of the coronavirus pandemic has been germanys famous clubbing scene. But now theres a new club for germans who cant wait to get back to the dance floor but still want to be responsible. Well, the clubs are closed but the beat goes on for party goers at this drivein reef in ger mafnee, djs pumped out the music to the car bound crowd. Socially distant dancing was allowed with no more than two people per vehicle. Trevor ja wol, because of corona germans started attending raves

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

coughing i just dropped my pen, sorry. I will now take questions about things being perfectly fine. Yes, kaitlyn. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight the white house goes viral. Plus, stephen welcomes cnns jake tapper. And musical guest tame impala. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert does that make a difference . Stephen it does. You have to hit yourself in the face twice hard enough to regret having done it. laughter welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Like you, im tired of this weand not once has Mickey Rourke blindfolded me and spooned cherries into my mouth. Im going to ask him to move out of the guest room. But social distancing is the right thing to do. Hotspots are popping up all over the place minnesota, tennessee, nebraska. Theres even an outbreak of the coronavirus inside the white house. Mr. President , the virus is calling from inside the house get out of there seriousl

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Well, looks like weve saved our country from british rule once again. S yeah, it just proves we need to learn not to profile one race of people. St of well, baahir, i was thinking that aybe maybe i owe you an apology. Really . I realiz yes, but then i realized that, technically, i dont. Because by being suspicious of you,d your l i saved your life and everyone elses. S so, really, you owe me an apology. But thats cool. Didnt you didnt save everyone i did you were just out harassing muslims but if i hadnt called you in the first place to check out the muslims,t d you would have just stayed in bed sick all day, right . Maybe. Maybe . Aybe . If i hadnt called you, you wouldnt have been on your computer checking out the clinton rally. Omp that means my intolerance of muslims saved america. That is so missing the point. Being a me being a bigot stopped a nuclear bombop thats not the right way to look at it yes or no, kyle . Oure s no. Not not like youre saying. G. Aut thats all im saying. R

Transcripts For KGO ABC World News Now 20240713

A live look at times square in new york, and the lights are still out on broadway. With all shows shut down, the financial fallout is mounting in the billions every month. And this morning there is a Major Development from one of broadways biggest shows. Will ganss is here with more now. Good morning, will. Frozen the Broadway Musical grossed over 150 million and entertained more than 1. 3 Million People in its threeyear run. Now its the first of the broadway blockbusters announcing that it wont be coming back when the great white way reopens. Reporter waiting for the sun to come back up over broadway, some tough news this week. All performances suspended through labor day at least. In one fell swoop, it was like my current job was taken from me, and my future job was taken from me. Reporter emily walton performing off broadway was set to return to broadways smash hit come from away on march 31st. Come from away was the big arrival moment for me. Repr blockbusters closing their curtain

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