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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131029

Thought my music was made in some ways for head phones. Youre on head phones, youre mine. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause . Stephen boo, boo. Khrapbt audience chanting step oh, i love it welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. All right, folks. Folks, ive got to say cheers and applause i cannot thank you enough. You know, as i sit here cheers and applause folks, as i sit at my desk night after night, you know its not easy to do this job. And i want to thank you. Your attempt to lift my spirits are appreciated but in vain. laughter im just too angry. I mean, maybe if you shouted i love you steven. audience complies. i dont know. laughter maybe if you whispered it. audience complies laughter folks, but no, no, im just im just too mad about obamacare, folks. laughter you see, the rollout has been one disaster after the next. Actually, you cant even get to the next disaster, you get an error page that says 404 disaster not found. laughter well, folks, to

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131030

Apartment and or suite number, i even told her that im not pregnant. laughter that i know of. laughter ive searched everywhere on the internet for her, all across the health care sites, over at the white house site. I even did a stock photo search for vaguely ethnic smiling woman. laughter nothing. Maybe those laughing salad ladies know something. laughter why are you laughing . laughter how can you eat at a time like this . laughter we have to find her, nation. And i have made a composite sketch, okay . If anyone see this is woman laughter . Please, please contact me immediately. Nation, i dont know about you, but i am so sick and tired of europe with their history and culture. Yeah, they got the sistine chapel, but i say we built the seventeen chapel. laughter now they got their nuthugger jeans in a bunch over the latest revelation from moscow craigslist futon buyer edward snowden. Jim . German chancellor Angela Merkel complained directly to president obama today over reports of u. S

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131104

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause . Stephen boo, boo. Khrapbt audience chanting step oh, i love it welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. All right, folks. Folks, ive got to say cheers and applause i cannot thank you enough. You know, as i sit here cheers and applause folks, as i sit at my desk night after night, you know its not easy to do this job. And i want to thank you. Your attempt to lift my spirits are appreciated but in vain. laughter im just too angry. I mean, maybe if you shouted i love you steven. audience complies. i dont know. laughter maybe if you whispered it. audience complies laughter folks, but no, no, im just im just too mad about obamacare, folks. laughter you see, the rollout has been one disaster after the next. Actually, you cant even get to the next disaster, you get an error page that says 404 disaster not found. laughter well, folks, today the healthcare. Gov web site has sunk to new dotlows. Jim . Weve all become familiar w

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