Is harold the other little boy . Would have to die. But for fergie to become queen, the whole royal family would have to be wiped out in an airplane crash that killed Wayland Flowers and madame. [ laughter ] [ applause ] anyway, we have a good show tonight. You didnt announce our special guests. George bush, and robert dole will come out here to do whos on first . [ laughter ] we have the one and only miss bette davis, with us tonight. [ applause ] and. A very funny performer, martin short, is with us tonight. [ applause ] and possibly, and his orchestra, so well be right back. Stay with us. [ music ] [ applause ] thank you. [ applause ] you finally did itand it was actually easy. Who would have thought . You did what dad taught you to do you took care of business. You made up your mind. Got it done. And thats a load off your shoulders. Thats how it feels to get guaranteed acceptance Life Insurance simple, affordable coverage for people age 50 to 75. Massmutual designed it to help cove
Thank you, thats very nice of you. Wow, what a nice crowd. I dont know i dont know how to tell you this, but i think your i think your heartburn just set off our smoke detectors. [ laughter ] usually when people come after thanksgiving, theyre a little logey, but you sound good tonight. Thank you for coming. Hope you had a happy thanksgiving. You had your turkey last night. You had your lasagna. Right here. He has lasagna. Trad family is lasagna. Yeah, thats right. You are youre a big eater. Not over, but youre a big guy. Ed, last night, had so much gas that reagan reflagged him and gave him a navy escort home. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] what am i laughing i had a fun thanksgiving, ill be honest. I love that holiday. I gathered all my relatives together, and for laughs, i carved my nephews out of the will. [ laughter ] i hope you dont mind comedy leftovers tonight. I mean, its the day after thanksgiving. Did you now, youre gonna eat turkey for a while, right . Right. Mine w
Pee wee herman theres a pee wee herman doll . [ laughter ] have you seen, seriously, the new jim and tammy dolls . [ laughter ] you wind em up. [ laughter ] tammy goes shopping, and jim makes a move on barbie. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] and the Jerry Falwell doll takes over the box. Anyway, youre in a good mood. We got great show for you tonight. We have a doozy tonight. A doozy . Mr. David steinberg, one of the cleverest man in the business. [ applause ] the comedienne making her first appearance on the tonight show, her name is jann karam. Jan is with us. And an interesting story, six or eight months was not an actor at all. But he was on a plane trip coming out, some guy talked to him, ended up doing a show called franks place. Don yesso is with us tonight. Stay where you all. Well be right back. [ music ] thank you. [ music ] good, thanks. Happy day after. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Happy day after thanksgiving. Yes, sir. You have a nice one . Nice one, very nice. Toda
He was asked one more time, where was president obama born . And he still wouldnt say hawaii. That is a lie that president obama is not a true american. Barack obama was born in america, plain and simple. Donald trump owes him and the American People an apology. Liz this is risk and rewarded. Im elizabeth macdonald. Stop talking about the collapse and private e may server in the basement. Stop talking about how bad her economic policies are and obama 2. 0 would flat line the u. S. Economy even more. Instead Start Talking about trumps birther comments. This as a new fox news poll shows trump surging into the lead among likely voters. He is basically 4645 in twoway race. Sorry about that. I thought we were tossing to a sound bite. Critics say we she is hitting panic button after dropping in the polls, jumping on birther controversy. Even president obama was surprised about that. I, jonathan, have no reaction and im shocked that a question like that would come up when we have some other t
Global tax rules that could squeeze profits. First, to our lead, the man who cofounded and rent twitter and ran before being ousted in 2008 is back on the job for good, at least for now. Twitter, naming jack dorsey its permanent ceo. He remained ceo of mobile payment firm square that is expected to go public this year, this despite the board saying they wanted someone who could commit fulltime. Dorsey made the case on twitter, and he did it in a series of tweets, saying i have been ceo of both companies for three months now. Strongest smartestk, members in the world on my team. Meantime, twitter director and head of the ceo search peter currie said today, over time, it became clear to us jack was not only meeting but surpassing our expectations of him as interim ceo while running square. Joining me now in studio, in our new studio, john patel, chairman and cofounder of newco. Weve got Adam Satariano who has been covering twitter for us, as well as victor. I want to start with you, john