Time machine cost . Stephen it came with the boat. Stephen well, if there is nothing else, ive got to do a show tonight. Stephen whos on tonight . Stephen Morgan Freeman. Stephen oh i remember that show it was really good youre so excited afterwards you go out and buy a boat dont do it announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes Morgan Freeman, judith light and musical guest Jimmy Eat World, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs stephen hey yeah whoo how are you, jon . cheers and applause yeah yeah thank you thank you thank you, everybod this audience is a gift from god thank you very much, everybody. Or if youre an atheist, theyre a gift from an indifferent university. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Thank you for being in here, out there. We are still trying to figure out who won mondays president ial debate. Democrat
Stephen my god. Today mankind let slip the surly bonds of earth, and finally steps forth into a brief new wait a second laughter we took a wrong turn someplace. Everybody back in the space penis come on its tat Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes Lupita Nyongo. Donnie wahlberg. And john prine. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause thanks so much. Stephen hey cheers and applause thats very pleasant. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, everybody. M welcome to the late show. I dont know about you, but im still detoxing from mondays debate. Shake shaone off. Thats, like, a twoday hangover. laughter kind of makes meantime to drink again, actually. Everybody is trying to spin this thing their own way. Donald trump says all the polls show he won, and the polls say hillary won. Its kidn of like a he said reality said. You dont know who to believe. Just in case polls are accurate about what
Then you probably know. Every year intel comes out with a list of the most dangerous celebrities. These are people who in you search for them online youre most at risk for getting a virus or malware or the mumps. This year the most dangerous celebrity to search is amy schumer. Justin bieber is number two. And number three is carson daly. Which a lot of i know carson, i tell you something, once we were at a restaurant, there was no ketchup on the table, he murdered the waiter. [ laughter ] this was at brunch. Hes a dangerous guy. Last year i was the 26th most dangerous. Before that, in 2014, i was number one. I was the number one most dangerous. This year ive plummeted to number 32. Which is still a dangerous number. That was o. J. s number. [ laughter ] the sad fact is im not as guillermo, do you still feel like im dangerous . Guillermo yeah, jimmy. Especially when you dont eat anything all day. Jimmy especially when i dont eat. Anyway. Donald trump got some bad news today too. Accordi
It. Stephen oh, my god, has trump become president . Stephen i dont know, ive only come from next tuesday. Stephen then why do you have a beard . Stephen this . Its fake. I didnt want to freak you out. Stephen so what did you come back to tell me . Stephen oh, yeah, dont buy a sailboat. Its much more expensive than you think. Upkeep is ridiculous, and youre not that good of a sailor. It just sits there. Time machine cost . Stephen it came with the boat. Stephen well, if there is nothing else, ive got to do a show tonight. Stephen whos on tonight . Stephen Morgan Freeman. Stephen oh i remember that show it was really good youre so excited afterwards you go out and buy a boat dont do it announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert freeman, judith light and musical guest Jimmy Eat World, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs stephen hey yeah whoo hey how are you
Time machine cost . Stephen it came with the boat. Stephen well, if there is nothing else, ive got to do a show tonight. Stephen whos on tonight . Stephen Morgan Freeman. Stephen oh i remember that show it was really good youre so excited afterwards you go out and buy a boat dont do it announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes Morgan Freeman, judith light and musical guest Jimmy Eat World, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs stephen hey yeah whoo hey how are you, jon . cheers and applause yeah yeah thank you thank you thank you, everybody this audience is a gift from god thank you very much, everybody. Or if youre an atheist, theyre a gift from an indifferent university. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Thank you for being in here, out there. We are still trying to figure out who won mondays president ial debate. Democ