On do any of you go online . Oh, good. Its a techsavvy group. Then you probably know. Every year intel comes out with a list of the most dangerous celebrities. These are people who in you search for them online youre most at risk for getting a virus or malware or the mumps. This year the most dangerous celebrity to search is amy schumer. Justin bieber is number which a lot of i know carson, i tell you something, once we were at a restaurant, there was no ketchup on the table, he murdered the waiter. [ laughter ] this was at brunch. Hes a dangerous guy. Last year i was the 26th most dangerous. Before that, in 2014, i was number one. I was the number one most dangerous. This year ive plummeted to number 32. Which is still a dangerous the sad fact is im not as dangerous as i used to be. Guillermo, do you still feel like im dangerous . Guillermo yeah, jimmy. Especially when you dont eat anything all day. Jimmy especially when i dont eat. Anyway. Donald trump got some bad news today too. Ac
It just sits there. Stephen how much did the time machine cost . Stephen it came with the boat. Stephen well, if there is nothing else, ive got to do a show tonight. Stephen whos on tonight . Stephen Morgan Freeman. Stephen oh i remember that show it was really good youre so excited afterwards you go out and buy a boat dont do it announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes Morgan Freeman, judith light and musical guest Jimmy Eat World, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs stephen hey yeah whoo how are you, jon . cheers and applause yeah yeah thank you thank you thank you, this audience is a gift from god thank you very much, everybody. Or if youre an atheist, theyre a gift from an indifferent university. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Thank you for being in here, out there. We are still trying to figure out who won mo
Crazyass stuff, like last week, when he made this case for his inclusion in the president ial debates. And do you think if you were able to get on the debate stage, that you could pull even with trump and clinton in these polls . I do. And it wouldnt have anything to do with my debate performance. Either it would just be that people would recognize that theres another choice and that there would be an examination of me and bill weld as who we are and what weve done, and based on that, i think i could stand up there for the whole debate and not say anything and emerge as the leader. laughter applause mocking stephen i think that park bench is where gary johnson lives. laughter and it doesnt get much better when you can understand him. For example, take his position on climate change, as he explained back in 2011. Change. I think the world is getting warmer. I think its mancaused. We should building new coalfired plants. Should we take the longterm view when it comes to Global Warming .
Musical guest, metallica, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 544 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey enjoy yourself. Welcome. Welcome. Please, have a seat. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone to the tonight show. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. This is the one to be at tonight. Hot show tonight. Hot show [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. Well get to the show. First, heres what everyone is talking about. Of course, it is still the election. And i saw that Hillary Clinton actually went to her granddaughters Second Birthday Party instead of preparing for the first debate against trump. Yeah. I guess she figured being around a bunch of screaming toddlers might help her even more. [ laughter and applause ] thats right, hillary went to her granddaughters Second Birthday Party. Apparently she played her Favorite Party games duck, duck, question and pin the blame on the i. T.
And featuring the legendy roots crew. Questlove 544 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey enjoy yourself. Welcome. Welcome. Please, have a seat. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone to the tonight show. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. This is the one to be at tonight. Hot show tonight. Hot show well get to the show. First, heres what everyone is talking about. Of course, it is still the election. And i saw that Hillary Clinton actually went to her granddaughters Second Birthday Party instead of preparing for the first debate against trump. Yeah. I guess she figured being around a bunch of screaming toddlers might help her even more. [ laughter and applause ] thats right, hillary went to her granddaughters Second Birthday Party. Apparently she played her Favorite Party games duck, duck, question and phe [ laughter and applause ] i never heard those while speaking to the students at the