Time machine cost . Stephen it came with the boat. Stephen well, if there is nothing else, ive got to do a show tonight. Stephen whos on tonight . Stephen Morgan Freeman. Stephen oh i remember that show it was really good youre so excited afterwards you go out and buy a boat dont do it announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes Morgan Freeman, judith light and musical guest Jimmy Eat World, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs stephen hey yeah whoo how are you, jon . cheers and applause yeah yeah thank you thank you thank you, everybod this audience is a gift from god thank you very much, everybody. Or if youre an atheist, theyre a gift from an indifferent university. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Thank you for being in here, out there. We are still trying to figure out who won mondays president ial debate. Democrats say hillary won, while republicans are strong in their conviction that there are still two more debates. Evidently, his staffers tried to first debate, but say, mr. Trump found it hard to focus during those meetings, and he did not seem to Pay Attention during the practice sessions. I dont blame trump. I mean, white house, oval office . Thats colors and shapes. Very difficult. Whats next . Whats next . cheers and applause whats next . Object permanence . Rolls behind the couch . There is no way of knowing laughter child, like,. Hes childlike is the point. But unlike his advisors, trump isnt ready to concede defeat last monday. He knows that a he won. And b he lost because it was rigged. A new post debate poll that just came out, the google poll, has us leading Hillary Clinton thats despite the fact that googles Search Engine was suppressing the bad news about Hillary Clinton. How about that . Stephen how about that . Yeah, how about that . Google must be suppressing bad news about Hillary Clinton. I know when i Googled Hillary and debate, it was only good news. And this isnt the first time trump has blamed his woes on technology. Earlier this week, he blamed his debate performance on a before that, he blamed his failure to disavow former Klansmen David Duke on a lousy earpiece. And in july he blamed a tweet using an antisemetic sixpointed star on microsoft shapes, though many are calling that excuse a pile of poop emoji, and donald trump isnt the only one who smells a conspiracy. So does the internet. Hillary clinton scratched her nose to signal to lester holt on six different occasions. The signal meant clinton wanted to get a zinger in and to go to her without changing the subject. Yes, this gesture was the signal. Right here. This was the signal right here. Okay, she did it many times. Unfortunately, hillary didnt get to do the one hand gesture she really wanted. Jon thats a serious signal. Stephen i mean, what other possible explanation could there be for her doing this . Her nose was itchy . Think about it when was the last time you itched your nose . Your itchy, itchy nose that itches. Probably got a bug on it or something. That is why there is a third conspiracy theory. During the debate, people noticed hillary was wearing a device under her jacket that could have been a secret earpiece or a coughing prevention machine. Yes, the wellknown coughprevention machine. Its apples new hipmounted iron lung. laughter stephen or wait a second, follow me down the rabbitt hole here. It could be the transmitter pack for the microphone she was wearing. Right there my god she was recording everythin they were saying laughter and thats never good for trump, ever but despite these kind of dirty tricks, secretary clinton is still struggling with millennials. By the way, if youre not sure who millennials are, theyre the ones who never use the term millennials. The support of just 31 of likely voters under 35. So hillarys doing everything she can to attract young people. Thats why, for the First Time Since july, she appeared on the campaign trail this week with that millenial heartthrob, bernie sanders. cheers and applause bernie they really like him. He really connects with millenials, because a lot of his old. laughter between that, and her social media outreach, no ones gone after young voters this hard since bill clinton. . Cold blooded . Stephen no what are you reading into nat . laughter shes even begun trying to appeal to young people by selling a tshirt on her website that says yaaaas hillary on it. Which is perfect, because when she asks you, am i trying too hard . You can say, yaaaaas. Hillary while its understandable that she wants this vital voting bloc, she may be going after millennials a little too hard. As a matter of fact, shes just released a new ad targeting the young ones, and we at the late show have gotten an advance copy. And now a special message from Hillary Clinton. . Hey, millennials. Check it out. My name is hillary and im here to say our country is being threatened in a serious way. If you want to stop trump and save the day, vote for me fill all the fields. Authenticity is bay. Trump wants to take our country back but ill use the doc filter on snapchat. Rough, rough, rough. The middle class has it rough, rough, rough, rough. Come on, kids, just tell me what you want. Stephen weve got a great show tonight. Morgan freeman is here, and when we return, ill be over there, talking about other candidates you could vote for. Stick around. cheers and applause . . . Lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for 349 a month. Only at your lincoln dealer. Ah, im in there as katie. Ill call you later. Or. No i wont, ill text you, because what am i your dad . Dont stay out too late . Yea, just text me. Thank you, get home safe. This must be what Antonio Brown feels like when hes dancing in the end zone. Touchdown Antonio Brown [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katies number. Looking for balance in your digestive system . Try align probiotic. For a nonstop, sweet treat goodness, hold on to your tiara kind of day. Live 24 7. With 24 7 digestive support. Try align, the 1 ge recommended probiotic. [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] its endless shrimp at red lobster. With another new flavor you never saw coming. Grilled, glazed korean bbq shrimp. And try as much as you want of flavors like new parmesan peppercorn shrimp. Horner i was proud to stand for our country. I will not stand for congressman hardy and donald trump insulting seniors and veterans. Hardy wants to raise the retirement age and said seniors who rely on programs like Social Security are a draw on government and the disabled are a drain on society. And then theres donald trump. Theyre just not for us. . cheers and applause stephen tasty thank you, ladies and gentlemen thank you so welcome back. Im just enjoying a lovely cup of coffee. I like my coffee the way i like my band leaders, extremely talented. Jon batiste, everybody laughter applause stephen before the break, we were talking about Hillary Clintons struggle with millennial voters. And shes not alone. Younger voters are shunning the two Major Political parties on a scale not seen since ross its true, young people loved ross perot, but remember, back in 92, he was still in new kids on the block. He was the fiscally responsible one. This election cycle, for any millennials disenchanted with clinton and trump, theres libertarian candidate and aging clown without makeup, gary johnson. Johnson fans here cheering then youre going to like the next seven minutes. laughter johnson is the former governor of new mexico, whose platform includes a variety of smallgovernment policies, but the only one you care about is he wants to legalize marijuana. cheers and applause it actually says in the script here audience screams. laughter libertarians have long been waiting for a smart, respectable candidate to represent their values. And the wait continues crazyass stuff, like last week, when he made this case for his inclusion in the president ial debates. And do you think if you were able to get on the debate stage, that you could pull even with trump and clinton in these polls . I do. And it wouldnt have anything to do with my debate performance. Either it would just be that people would recognize that theres another choice and that there would be an examination of me and bill weld as who we are and what weve done, and based on that, i think i could stand up there for the whole debate and not say anything and emerge as the leader. laughter applause mocking stephen i think that park bench is where gary johnson lives. laughter and it doesnt get much better when you can understand him. For example, take his position on climate change, as he explained back in 2011. Change. I think the world is getting warmer. I think its mancaused. We should building new coalfired plants. Should we take the longterm view when it comes to Global Warming . I think we should. The long term view is that, in billions of years, the sun is going to actually grow and encompass the earth, right . So Global Warming is in our in our future. laughter stephen thats the same excuse i use around the house. Sorry, honey, id take out the trash, but in a couple of billion years the sun is going to engulf the earth, so, whats just a few days ago, johnson clarified his position, saying that his long Term Solution to Global Warming is that we do have to inhabit other planets. I believe gary johnson already does. applause gary johnson seems like a bit of a masochist, and its not just biting his tongue. According to the economist, he once shut himself inside a freezer to prove he could withstand the cold, and he clamped an alligator clip onto his tongue to show he could withstand pain. Which means if he doesnt win the presidency, hes still got a good shot to be in the next jackass movie. laughter applause good movie. He didnt help his chances earlier this month on msnbcs the coffee joe morning show when coffee joe barnacle asked him his position on the epicenter of the syrian refugee crisis, aleppo. And what would you do if you were elected, about aleppo . About. . Aleppo. And what is aleppo . Youre kidding. Stephen yes. Obviously, hes just kidding its a joke knockknock. Whos there . 400,000 refugeees. No surprise johnson is polling at nearly 37 among military Service Members because if the president doesnt know about syria, theres no way hes sending you there. applause i think we just applauded for yay what are we applauding for . We dont know im with you, my friends. And just last night, johnson made another gaffe at an msnbc town hall. Whos your favorite foreign leader . Whos my favorite any, just name anywhere in the country, any one of the continents, any country. Name one foreign leader that you respect and look up to. Anybody. exhales you got to do this. Anywhere. Any continent. Canada . Mexico . Europe, over there . Asian . South america . Africa . Name a foreign leader that you respect. I guess im having an aleppo moment. Stephen that is an aleppo moment because bombing like that should be a war crime. Eventually, johnson was bailed out by his running mate, former Massachusetts Governor and guy wholl be played in the showtime miniseries by a wheel of cheese, william weld. Anybody in the world you like. Anybody pick any leader the former president of mexico. Which one . sighs heavily im having a brain, im having a brain fox thank you who is your favorite leader . Get him off the hook, name a foreign leader. Fox stephen fox thats it mexican president megan fox laughter obviously, Gary Johnsons ignorance, crazy ideas and strange tongue exercises make him the most laughable candidate out there. Or, should. laughter but things might be looking up for gary johnson because it was Just Announced that former nickolodeon star Melissa Joan Hart was named chair of his connecticut campaign. Thats right clarissa. Perfect. He could really use someone who explains it all to him. applause point is, hes staying in the race despite fivethirtyeight giving him a less than 0. 1 chance of winning in november. So voting for johnson might be throwing your vote away, but cmon. Anyway. laughter well be right back with Morgan Freeman. . Cheeps wow this toilet paper reminds me of a washcloth thats charmin ultra strong, dude. Cleans so well. It keeps your underwear cleaner. secretly so clean. You could wear them a second day. Tell me i did not just hear that sheepishly i said you could. Not that you would . Charmin ultra strong with its washclothlike texture, helps clean better than the leading flattextured bargain brand. It cleans better. You should try it, skidz. We all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin . What is driving performance . Its not a weekend hobby. You have to live and breathe it for 50 years. Its the sound. And the fury. Its letting it all hang out there, and its hanging on for dear life. That is what amg driving performance means. The 503horsepower mercedesamg c63 s coupe. Advil liqui gels work so fast youll ask what bad back . What pulled hammy . Advil liqui gels make pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain . Advil. You love allday breakfast. I love allday breakfast. But you dont love that you cant get all your favorites all day. Nt love that. But now youre gonna love that you can get more all day. Like mcgriddles. I love mcgriddles. So youll have to find Something Else to not love. Hey buddy like exploding fist bumps. Pggggggghew or forgetting what youre about to do. Wait. What was i about to do . Or when people who say you look like. James lipton. Oh man. Its uncanny. Get more choices you love, now with all day breakfast. . Every time i travel, its the moments that are most rewarding. Because youll never forget them. Join Marriott Rewards and well help you find your moments with our diverse collection of hotels and resorts around the world. So no matter where you go, you are here. . cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody hey we did it welcome back to the late show. My first guest tonight is an Academy Awardwinning actor, a director, and the executive producer of madam secretary, here on cbs. Please welcome Morgan Freeman stephen welcome, Morgan Freeman thank you very much, Stephen Colbert stephen youre always a lovely guest to have. Thank you. Stephen before we go any further, Morgan Freeman, can i ask what i am orlando 2016 means . This has to do with the Invictus Games, the Wounded WarriorsInvictus Games started by it was him. Stephen are you competing in the games this year . Not this year, no. Stephen were you an athlete when you were younger . Did you compete in athletics when you were younger . No. Stephen all right. Lets move on. Okay. Stephen do you know what you are a champion at . No. Stephen the arts, because you just received this is fantastic, a goal nor any artist you just received the highest award the United States can give to any artist, the cheers and applause stephen thats pretty exciting. How did you find out you were getting it . I uh stephen am i telling you right now for the first time . No, i usually get a call. Stephen was his name ba . Stephen nor did you go to the ceremony, i understand. No. Well, he didnt call. Stephen you werent able to make it to the ceremony, so theres no photo of you at the ceremony, so we made up one for you. There you are. applause just so you have something. A memento. Have you gotten a medal . No. Theyll probably send it to the house. Stephen yeah . Do you know what it looks like . Stephen there is such a thing as being too casual about this, Morgan Freeman. Im sorry. I apologize. Stephen dont apologize to me. Who . Stephen apologize to the national art people . Do you know who decides to give this to you . Is it congress . Who makes the decision . Well, the note said the president. Stephen really . Yeah stephen hes just sitting in bed watching shawshank one night and goes, im going to give that man a medal. applause right . I dont know. Stephen you just dont know. These powerful people make up their mind and things happen. Thats for sure. Stephen when youre not doing your fancy hollywood stuff and your executive producing madam secretary, youre down in mississippi. Youve got a ranch there, right . Sort of. I have horses. Stephen you have horses. When i think ranch, i think of cattle and stuff, and i dont do any of that. You have bees. I have bees. I have a bee ranch. Stephen how do the horses feel about the bees . They get along quite well, and ill tell you why. Stephen why . The bees dont fool around with the horses. laughter they just dont. Stephen they dont fool around with Morgan Freeman either, i understand. Not really, no. Stephen is it true that you actually didnt wear the apiary, the beekeeper outfit . If youre going to harvest and fool around with them a lot, yes, you wear the paraphernalia. But just to check the hives, they wont bother you. Stephen anyone or they wont bother Morgan Freeman . laughter because you just mellow them out . You get on their wavelength. Thats all they need. They just need calmness. Stephen really . Yeah, if youre just grapes once in 1962 in nappa valley, and bees are all over you, and youre not getting stung or bothered in any way. If you get sugar on you, you will get a bee on you. Stephen dont go to a beehive slattered in sugar is the lesson there. Stephen do you sell this Morgan Freeman honey . And i dont just mean your delicious voice freeman . I havent figured that out. Stephen just put Morgan Freeman on the label. There is the f. D. A. , the Health Department people youve got to deal with and i havent figured out how to get past them. Stephen just flash your little president ial medal and say, back off. applause this is the National Medal of the arts. Youve got nothing to worry about. Youve got a getoutofjailfree medal, my friend. Stephen i do why dont you ask my friend barack. I will. Ill get a chance to ask him. Stephen also, do you have any kind of relationship with Hillary Clinton, by the way . Yes, i do. Stephen you do. Because i understand she was one of the inspirations for madam secretary, which you are executive producer and you play chief justice and direct the premiere. The second and third original you know, the first stephen whens the season premiere this year . Sunday night. Stephen and you directed that. Yes applause stephen someones already seen it. What was the inspiration . What was the ahha we should make a movie . When we saw hillary going through that whole thing about benghazi stephen when she was in the hearings for 11 hours there . Yeah, and we have been up with some idea that you would want to hang with, a story you want to tell, and we thought, you know, weve had three female secretaries of state, and theyve all been pretty good at it. And so applause awful lot of material there to feed from, so why dont we try that . And then somebody said, that sounds good. What will we call it . Madam secretary. Stephen and thats how you executive produce. There it is. Thats precisely it. Stephen wow. And my producing partner really gets angry with me when i say, yeah, executive producer, its a title. He says, you work, you do a lot of stuff i say, yeah, what . laughter stephen again, you have to if she gets elected, do you think that will change your tv show at all, the story line at all . No, no, because theyre not based on her. Stephen inspired by her. You understand stephen i know its not a bio pic of Hillary Clinton. No, its not. If she gets to be president , well do that. Stephen you had a riabout her life at the democratic convention. I narrated a lot of stuff for her. Stephen what is more challenging, the migration of penguins across antarctica or narrating for Hillary Clinton. No, actually, its all in your belief system, as it were, and i like the story of the penguins, and i like hillary. Stephen Everybody Loves any similarities . , none. Stephen so the story is going nowhere. Ill drop it. I like that about you. Stephen youre a friend of elon musk. Yeah. Stephen he says you can go to mars for 10 billion. Would you want to go to live on mars if you had the money . Not yet. Stephen why. Its not even like the western frontier where there was nothing out there but grass and buffalo but there was food. There is not even water that you can be sure of. Stephen hes not a great salesman for it because he said, it will cost 10 million and pretty sure youre gonna die. laughter before you get back here, sure. Stephen its a oneway trip, 10 million and a oneway trip and youre probably gonna die. Well, like you say, not much of a sales pitch. Stephen yes. Well, the new season of madam secretary starts this sunday, i directed it. Its going to be on at 9 00. Its going to be very exciting. Were going to have a very exciting season actually, because im reading the scripts as they come in. Stephen at some points she becomes elected president and then laughter watch my lips, stephen no. applause stephen the new season of madam secretary premieres sunday at 9 00 on cbs Morgan Freeman, everybody mars pioneer well be back with judith light this is the story of falls biggest fan. Autumn was born on the first day of fall. And from an early age she learned to love the season. Leaf piles and pumpkin pies. Hot apple cider and cozy sweaters. Which brings us to the very moment she fell for fall all over again. Was she expecting to find the perfect designer boots at such an amazing price . No. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. , but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. Can a toothpaste do everything well . This clean was like pow. It felt like i had just gone to the dentist. It just kind of like, wiped everything clean. My teeth are glowing. They look great. They are so white. Crest hd 6x cleaning. 6x whitening. And at two weeks, superior sensitivity relief to the leading sensitivity toothpaste. I actually really like the two steps crest healthy, beautiful smiles for life. This man can lift a 526 pound barrel of tennessee whiskey. These people can do everything else. . This is lynchburg, tennessee. The home of jack daniels. This is lynchburg, tennessee. You know, in any job, any profession, image matters. I want some gray. But not too much. Only touch of gray uses oxygen all for that perfect salt and pepper look. Satisfaction guaranteed. Just you and the look you want. [ cellphone ringing ] its just another scandal from danny tarkanian. Tarkanian was the corporate lawyer for those with an elaborate scam that tricked hundreds of seniors into donating to fraudulent charities, totaling millions. And when a shady tarkanian deal went bust, he refused to pay back 17 million, sticking taxpayers with the bill. Kids. Yes, you did. You treat me horribly most of the time. Why dont you just go. Youre kicking us out . Es, this is my place, my time, me pampering myself. Im going to have a massage, a mannypedi and im going to indu trevor is teaching me about self care. Who is trevor. The gay who comes with the room. Stephen please welcome judith light cheers and applause . And you, sir, very nice to see you. Stephen nice to see you, too. Really, i adore you, just let that be known. Stephen i have sudden very strong affections for you as well. Thank you so much. Stephen if i told you five years ago that you were going to be on a hit series that was available only through a company that also sells bulk toilet paper yes. Stephen amazon, what would you have said to me in response . I would havsa stephen but isnt it strange all the different places you can get entertainment now . Extraordinary. Somebody once said what does it feel like to do a show on a Home Shopping network . I said it is that kind of thing that is changing the world. Amazon is the best partner anybody could possibly have. Theyre amazing. Stephen other than cbs. Yes, and we do love cbs. Stephen and if anybody paper, just let me know. I get a deal. Stephen do you really get a deal . I do. Stephen do you get a deal on amazon products . I get a deal. Stephen i would negotiate that. Do you get Free Shipping . I do get Free Shipping. Stephen the show has been really groundbreaking in talking about introducing people to the trans community, trans concerns. Do you feel like a pressure to continue that . Because its a family story, but its also been sort of a cultural milestone. Does the cultural milestone aspect of it feel like we have to continue this, we have to continue educating people . Its the context from which everything comes. It is the gift that keeps on giving. It is jills story, it is about her parent and we never let that go, and Jeffrey Tambor who is so brilliant in this show applause he has really taken up the us feel an incredible responsibility and, for me, i have been an ally for the Lgbt Community for many, many years and, so, for me, its just another part of the advocacy of my life and the joy i get to do that. Stephen your new character this season is sort of a selfstyled, selfhelp guru. Thats correct. Stephen have you ever indulged in the selfhelp gurudom . Im a girl of the 60s i mean, we did all of that. I mean, there was stephen what did you try . Because i would love to be in a cult. I would love somebody to tell me what to do, how to think. Youre in television laughter stephen exactly right. I talk there, i say these words, i talk to her. Exactly stephen no, but, really, were you in any sort of selfhelp movements in the 70s . I did probably a lot of stephen where you cant leave the room for seven hours . There were other things. You werent allowed to go to the bathroom, everybody said things like that. Stephen was that true . Yes. Stephen did it help . I couldnt focus on anything if i had to go to the bathroom. I understand. But they have adapted the organizations over time, but, you know, the thing that was really valuable for me is i realized i wanted to investigate my life. What was really important to m worth living and i wanted to understand myself better and it was the thing that brought me into therapy and helped me tremendously because i wanted to understand myself. Whenever i do a part, any character i play, i want to understand them psychologically and i knew i had to understand myself and i knew i didnt. Stephen youre doing a play now called the onewoman play. Its all the ways to say i love you here in new york city. Yourself. Does it get lonely . Its really lonely. And our brilliant director Lee Silverman placed the setting so theres no door, there is no escape. I cant get out until im done. Stephen would you if there was a door . You would like bleep im out of here . Can you say that . Stephen its okay for me to say it. No other show on cbs can say it. Theyre not going to bleep that, right . Theyre saying its cool. People. cheers and applause thank you for being here for my last show oh, my goodness. And goodbye. laughter stephen when youre doing a show by yourself, youve got no partner to play off of. You know, if its not going well, you cant blame anyone else. Thats exactly right. They call the entire cast to stephen right. Its a very odd experience. Its the hardest thing ive ever done. I have been on stage bald, i have been on stage naked, but this is harder than that. Stephen why were you on stage naked . Just curious. He wants to come to see that play. Stephen im just curious, i was on stage naked once. You were . Stephen i was 19 years old. I was an extra in ken russell, the director, he was doing madam stephen and the beginning of it is in a whore house and he says i want somebody to run out on stage naked trying to get away from a night of pain and pleasure and they pointed at me and said you. And i said to myself, im 19, this isnt going to get any better in fact, it gets worse. Stephen not at all. Not at all. No . Stephen im imagining you naked now and youre lovely. Thats so sweet. Naked . Not at all. Stephen hold on this one really should have embarrassed you. laughter because you werent alone really . Stephen there were two of you. Oh, two of me . And this year, now, we should be stopping this conversation. Stephen no, cbs lets me talk about any of this stuff that i want. So you are in a cult. Very nice. Stephen i am, in the cbs i know. laughter stephen thank you so much, judith light. The third season of transparent is now available on amazon prime video. Judith light, everybody. Well be right back with a performance by Jimmy Eat World. cheers and applause . My mother passed 2003, but she always told me i dont care if you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, phone ringing answering machine hi, leave a message after the beep. beep hey mom, this is larry. I just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. Love you. beep only twice a year and its here kohls lowest prices of the season. Save on levis tees for her just 6. 99 toddlers tops and bottoms only 4. 99 and on the big one bath towel. Youll get kohls cash too going on now at kohls. My sweethearts gone sayonara. This scarf all thats left to remem. What she washed this like a month ago the long lasting scent of gain flings [ on the road again, by Willie Nelson ] . On the road again . [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] . On the road again . . Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway . [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. Ah, im in there as katie. Ill call you later. Or. No i wont, ill text you, because what am i your dad . Dont stay out too late . Yea, just text me. This must be what Antonio Brown feels like when hes dancing in the end zone. Touchdown Antonio Brown [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katies number. . I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. Id like to punch him in the face, ill tell you. I could stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot somebody and i wouldnt lose any voters, okay . And you can tell them to go [bleep] themselves. Get him out of here get him out of here get the hell out of here priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. Dont believe. Dont believe. Dont believe joe hecks attacks. Catherine cortez masto has always served with integrity. And attorney general. She made sex trafficking a felony crime. She worked with the bush and obama administrations to combat terrorism. As attorney general, she helped reduce crime. Thats why shes endorsed by Law Enforcement across nevada. Catherine cortez masto. Catherine cortez masto. I trust her to keep us safe. Im Catherine Cortez masto, and i approve this message. . . . [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] rs and applause . . Oh, look. Another antiwrinkle cream in no hurry to make anything happen. Neutrogena . Rapid wrinkle repair works. In one week. With the. Fastest retinol formula available. Its clinically proven to work on fine lines and. Even deep wrinkles. One week . Rapid wrinkle repair. And for dark spots, rapid tone repair. Neutrogena . See whats possible. Then we wad it up to make it nice and soft. Mmm, cushiony. And we can use less. Charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. It has comfort cushions you can see that are softer. And more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. Remember, thats charmin in there. No wasteful wadding stephen and now, performing their new song sure and certain, ladies and gentlemen, Jimmy Eat World cheers and applause . . . . . . . The clever ways i try to change . Happen and pass, leaving me the same . Of course it must be Something Else . Leading questions i might ask myself . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking . What you do works for a time until you drop . Without a warning sign if you keep going on like this . Ill be one more thing for you to miss . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking . . . . . . . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . . . . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking stephen their 9th studio album, integrity blues, comes out on october 21 Jimmy Eat World, everybody well be right back. cheers and applause im Catherine Cortez masto and i approve this message. Theyre bringing drugs, theyre bringing crime, theyre rapists. Narrator and joe heck says i have high hopes well see donald trump become president. I dont know what i said, aah. Narrator heck says he completely supports trump. I would bomb the [bleep] out of them. Narrator and heck . Reporter you trust him having his finger on the Nuclear Button . Heck i do. Reporter why do you say that . Heck why wouldnt i . Narrator donald trump and joe heck. Stephen thats it for the late show, everybody tune in tomorrow when my guests will be samantha bee, abby elliott, and asa butterfield. Greenfield and tig notaro. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org . Are you ready to have some fun . Feel the love tonight dont you worry bout . Where you come from its gonna be all right . Its the late, late show