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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Look at you guys look at you guys very small sad. [ laughter ] here, hold my mangoagogo. Take my santa, hello is that you, mr. President . Of course, it is. Look, i dont have much time i ditched eric and don jr. At the disney store wont be long until they realize the thor beanbag chair i left them on isnt their real dad. [ laughter ] you came to the mall just to see santa . Thats right. Tomorrow is the big Impeachment Vote people are saying that all i can do is pray but why pray when i can come straight to you, jesus dad . Oh, im not im not. [ laughter and applause besides, i love malls, i really do. The sights, the sounds, the szechuan samples [ laughter ] but even here, i cant escape the democrats. [ laughter ] theyre very mean, santa theyre very mean. Theyre very nasty [ laughter ] theyre very nasty theyre very nasty people. They do nasty thing. They want to impeach me just like clinton and nixon and prancer and vixon. [ laughter ] but that would be very humiliating and the only per

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240713

I know what my true calling is, and i am going to keep this going all the way to washington. [ cheers and applause ] hold on wait it wasnt me i wasnt the one who brought the canadians here. It was something just like this. Dont you see . If theres anything weve learned, its that we have to stop this kind of sensationalistic politics before the same thing happens to us, because if we let this kind of. This. Kind of. Dude. Unbelievable. All right, my friends, i have to say goodbye now because im off to washington with my running mate. [ cheers and applause ] [ engine turns over ] [ engine revs ] buckle up, buckaroo [ cheers and applause ] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in and thank you for coming out thank you so much for coming out take a seat lets make a show im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is a legendary actor who plays roge

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240713

New movie about fox news. John lithgow is here, everybody cheers and applause so excited. Also, on tonights show, jaboukie checks in on americas new founders. Apple is actually an apple and Congress Goes to law school. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with tick tock. A. D. H. D. In app form. Kids these days use it for everything from making jokes to sharing stories and political activism. Now a new viral tick tock has some people wondering if there should be a limit. How much is social media a part of some kids lives . In the case of the teenagers youre about to meet, the answer would seem to be its essential. They were involved in a car crash and almost middle east posted a video on the popular app tik tok. These teens are reporting the aftermath of a bad car accident that happened only moments earlier. You can see the cracked windshield and then they got camera ready making a video that they posted on the popular tik tok app, lip syncing while waiting for police. W

Transcripts For KCAU America This Morning 20160229

Lauren, good morning. Reporter i am. Good morning, reena and kendis. You know, it was mad max that collected the most oscar gold, and you mentioned that first oscar for leo all on a night where taking center stage along with the folks winning awards was the broader controversy over a lack of diversity in hollywood. Spotlight. Reporter a thoughtful film about a newspaper investigating sex abuse by bostons catholic priests took oscars top prize last night winning best picture. If they nominated hosts, i wouldnt even get this job. Reporter but it was oscar host chris rock who really owned the night addressing the academys diversity controversy right out of the gate. Im a danish girl. Reporter placing black actors in parodies of several nominated films. You should get me. Dont worry, black astronaut, we will. Reporter even calling hollywood racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. Its like we like you, rhonda, Leonardo Dicaprio. Reporter after five acting nominations, Leonardo Dicaprios losin

Transcripts For KCRG America This Morning 20160229

Quinn so thats it . Rowan just walks away scotfree. Olivia quinn, i signed an agreement. Even if i talked, it wouldnt do any good. Hes destroyed any and all evidence that could point to the existence of b613. As far as the world knows, it was never there. Really . Because weve got 2 billion that says it was. What . The money huck stole from b613. That money doesnt prove anything. No, it came from their accounts. You can trace it back. It could have come from anywhere. Say that last thing again. What . The money could have come from anywhere . Really . Anywhere . Yeah. Anywhere. Why . [ chuckles ] elijah pope . Yes. Youre under arrest. [ chuckles ] let me tell you about the terrible mistake youre about to make. Allow me you know what, chief . I hear this story like five times a day. Go ahead and cuff him. [ handcuffs click ] olivia embezzlement, huh . Now, this this is worth the price of admission. I talked to the detectives. Apparently, they got an anonymous phone call. Someone saying

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