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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160809

100 meter satirical newscast, right now all eyes are on trevor noah. Uhhuh t say long road to get here. Lets see how the young South African does in a field normally dominated by white men. Unfortunately, thats not the case any more. Certainly. Doh. Oh, lets play that back. Clearly taking the week off made him rusty. He completely misses the chair. Do they not have chairs in south africa . Oh god, a mosquito bit me. Oh oh [bleep]. Not going to let you tonight. No way. Now the womens volleyball. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome to the daily show, im trevor noah thank you so much. We have a great show, our guest george ga congressman and civil rights legend john lewis is joining us, everybody. cheers and applause but lets begin with where we have to begin. Donald trump. You know, mostly i dont think that donald trump should be president of anything, really. But there are times when it s

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160805

Democratic National Convention here in philadelphia so much fun. Everyone, thank you so much for having us. This is officially our last show here and were ending the week with a great guest, new jersey senator cory booker is joining us, everybody cheers and applause lets get straight into it. Last night was officially the end of the democratic National Convention, and hillary was excited that she was finally the nominee, and bill clinton was just as excited that there were balloons laughter look how happy he is he looks high look at his face laughter he says, i cant believe all these balloons. Wow, the blue ones hes so excited. You know what, after recent events in the news and the negative rhetoric of the conventions, especially in cleveland, i feel we all need balloons in our life, you know, because i understand bill clinton. There is no situation in which a balloon is a negative thing. Balloons bring out the best in us. We laugh, we feel like kids again. Maybe instead of dropping bo

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160803

Home of a unspeakable sexual act. Its the 2016 Republican National convention. Day three, holy balls its really happening. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central trevor welcome, everybody. Thank you so much cleveland. Were here in cleveland, ohio. People. Coming to you live. Anything i say can and will be used against me in the course of twitter. With us tonight alex wagner will be joining us, everybody. Its officially official, people. Donald trump accepted the president ial nomination for presidency. I urge you to live every day like its your last. He finished a speak doing what he called writing law and order to a country in crisis and there was another half too. I learned in american politics you go say anything you want. You can mislead about crime, you can say anything but some lies are bigger than others. I humbly and grea gratefully accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States. Trevor yes. Nothing so humble like turning the stage gold and

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20160803

Larry thank you gretchen. I will have a fantastic day because roger ailes is getting [bleep] canned. Yes. So weve talked about this before. Aint nobody surprised that roger ailes is a creepy [bleep], right . And not just because he greenlit bill oreillys original show. Get me a scotch, sugartits. [applause] i dont knowhats going on down there cant believe that didnt catch on. But heres whats interesting. Gretchen carlsons accusations werent enough on their own to get ailes fired. She had to get them cosigned by other women. Enter cable news alpha gazelle, megyn kelly. Yesterday megyn kelly, the networks rising star, reportedly told investigators that he had made similar sexual advances towards her about ten years ago. Larry ugh. And it happened ten years ago. Let me see if i can put this in perspective. While the rest of the world was furiously trying to put Nelly Furtados newest album on their zunes, megyn kellys trying to ward off that fat bastard. Now a lot of people are reporting k

Transcripts For KGO ABC7 News 400PM 20160801

Of not guilty to murder but his team of defense team has asked for the trial to be delayed going over data from her cell phone sent to the manufacturer in south korea. They asked the court to start the trial as soon as possible. The District Attorneys Office has been good about advising us that it is going to be a long haul. It is still frustrating for us. We want answers. Weve wanted answered since 2012. Lamar appeared the hearing with several aunts and uncles and the prosecutors and Defense Attorneys would not do interviews after court but they told the family there are many issues iron out, including what evidence might be disallowed and whether a change of venue could be granted. Also on hand today, volunteers who organized the massive Search Operations for sierra lamar. Im looking forward to the trial starting and for justice for sierra lamar and the return the optimal is the return to her loving family. Reporter her body has never been recovered. In san jose, david louie, abc 7 n

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