You dont have them, you cant win. Well, i won, you know, and ill win again. This country is allowing great wines but we have great wines, too. Were not the fools anymore. Were not the foolish country that does so badly. China very much wants to make a deal. They want to make a deal much more than i do. Hes actually an incredible guy, hes a great man. Thank you, you take care of yourself. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, mexican standoff. Plus stephen welcomes samuel l. Jackson, and former secretary of Defense Ash Carter, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ek city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen whoo hello cheers and applause thanks, everybody thanks so much please have a seat ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen in my official capacity as a late night host, tonight i declare that the state of our uni
Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, coffee joe calls trump cuckoo. Plus stephen welcomes Carol Burnett and lewis black. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody thank you, joseph. Hey, everybody hey, jon. Thats nice. Thats nice. Thank you very much. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, everybody audience Stephen Stephen stephen cheers and applause thank you. Incredible. These people are incredible. Please, have a seat everybody. Thank you so much. Please. These people are amazing. This is the kind of crowd i would want two nights a week. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Jon thats right, thats right. Stephen double header. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is friday, and its been quite a week for the president. Calling senator Warren Pocahontas in front of navajo code talkers, denyi
A real toetapper. In addition, all future Broadway Productions of aladdin will now be known as fiddler on the flying carpet. Finally, we are no longer going to use arabic numerals or algebra, or math of any kind, which is pretty obvious if youd read our tax plan. laughter its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, franken under fire. Plus, stephen welcomes ed helms Christopher Jackson and musical guest bleachers. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen you thank you very much hey, whats going on, lewis hey, everybody please have a seat. Sit, sit, sit welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, this morning, if you havent seen, Time Magazine has announced their ca david perdue in a momet that inspired a lot of people. It was not blake shelton. No, the person of the year is the Metoo Movement. I agree, i agree. Which means
A real toetapper. In addition, all future Broadway Productions of aladdin will now be known as fiddler on the flying carpet. Finally, we are no longer going to use arabic numerals or algebra, or math of any kind, which is pretty obvious if youd read our tax plan. laughter its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, franken under fire. Plus, stephen welcomes ed helms Christopher Jackson and musical guest bleachers. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen you thank you very much hey, whats going on, lewis hey, everybody please have a seat. Sit, sit, sit welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, this morning, if you havent seen, Time Magazine has announced their ca david perdue in a momet that inspired a lot of people. It was not blake shelton. No, the person of the year is the Metoo Movement. I agree, i agree. Which means
cheers and applause cheers and applause Stephen Lovely crowd; welcome to the late show, everybody. Im so happy youre here, so happy everyone is with us tonight. I am your host, stephen colbert, and wow. I am glad you could be here on this historic evening. Because, donald trump held his first solo press conference as president okay . Alright . Hes had them with world leaders; hes gone out there with the podium, like the twin podiums with the world leaders, but this was just him, by himself. Evidently, he didnt even bring his meds with him it was just him, alone. It was a robust one hour and 17 minutes long. That is beefy, okay . So beefy, you could eat it with a fork, okay . So youre going to want to use a spoon to get every drop of the crazy. It just happened actually. Were recording this in the early afternoon. It literally just finished. What im saying is this is fresh. It must be fresh because you can smell it. The smell is theres a real cheers and applause this press conference, i