what do you say to them? when you lose your fear of death, you actually lose your fear of life as well. and to this day, you re cancer-free? yes. to this day, i m cancer-free. finally, they were wheeling him from the e.r. to a regular room. ben was looking straight up and he said, mom, do you see that light? i want to spread a little love this year [ male announcer ] this december, experience the gift of unsurpassed craftsmanship at the lexus december to remember sales event. some of the best offers of the year. this is the pursuit of perfection. so i deserve a small business credit card with amazing rewards. with the spark cash card from capital one, i get 2% cash back on every purchase, every day.
it doesn t matter how a person looks. if they have braces or acne or anything like that. what matters is their personality. i have a really big challenge in my life. i have heart condition. it is called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. and i have a pacemaker. you remember that day that you got the diagnosis, what you felt? yes, i do. because it was very scary. the doctor just very clearly stated, he has this condition, there s no cure. we ll have to be careful throughout his life. how nervous were you that he could die? i was afraid everyday that i would go downstairs or go to his bedroom and he may have passed away in the middle of the night. one time we were driving in the car, and ben, with a different tone in his voice, said, mom, how do we know if we get to go to heaven. and
and he told me it made him feel really good, and he thought it was an angel. nine years later or so, when he was 13, you took him to the cardiologist. he explained what was happening with ben s heart that it wasn t pumping properly at this point, and fluid was backing up. the doctor reiterated that we need to start thinking about heart transplants. so how did ben take this? when ben and i left the appointment, he just asked me very seriously, mom, am i going to die? so i said, yes, you will, and we all do at some point. none of us really know when that is. how hard was that conversation for you? it was really heart breaking. he was just so young. and he s having to deal with difficult questions, and i just wish he didn t have to deal with that at such a young age.
ben s body was just getting weaker. his arrhythmia had been back. he was getting more tired. i felt like things were getting out of control. jake came running in the back door and he said, mom, it s ben. his face was already blue. he bacon and cheese diet? this is the creamy chicken corn chowder. i mean, look at it. so indulgent. did i tell you i am on the. [ both ] chicken pot pie diet! me too! [ male announcer ] so indulgent, you ll never believe they re light. 100-calorie progresso light soups.
how nervous were you that he could die? i was afraid everyday that i would go downstairs or go to his bedroom and he may have passed away in the middle of the night. one time we were driving in the car, and ben, with a different tone in his voice, said, mom, how do we know if we get to go to heaven. and how old was he? he was four. i told him you just let jesus know you want to be there. he asked jesus if he would be his friend for the rest of his life. was he emotional when he had this conversation? he was. he actually had tears in his eyes. [ sirens blaring ] i remember the paramedics gathering around ben and measuring all types of vitals and that sort of thing.