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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight all the president s meds. Plus, stephen welcomes gayle king and amy sedaris. Featuring jon batiste and stay homins. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen ready to do it . One more time. No . That hurt last time. Youre not going to do it again . Stephen ill do it again. Im not afraid of you. Ready . Sure. Stephen lets do it. Come on snap snap welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were all still trying to process the shocking revelation that donald trump dropped last night he cares about his health. Case in point today he had an event in a room where he was surrounded by fruits and vegetables. He was shocked to learn that fruit was available in nonrollup form. as trump usually i only see fruits by the foot. Of course, trump had to brag about how good he was to farmers. We are providing 19 billion to support our nations agricultural producers, maintain the health of our critical food supply ch

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

But this one got outside to see that humans are not so bad. You know it wont take long for people to start using it for the wrong reason. Grandma got hugged but two guys from the bar will be saying whatd you just say to me . Awww hell, no. Get inside the plastic. Get inside the plastic, dawg. Lets handle this like men. Moving on. Theres no denying that one of the biggest things we miss the most right now is traveling you know, seeing new places, visiting your family, fleeing to a country without extradition. Well, now theres a new company that gives you a little taste of travel, right at home. Reporter just because youre stuck at home doesnt mean you cant get some airline food. The aptly named company, imperfect foods, is selling the snacks previously given to Airline Passengers and airline customers. The company is dedicated to eliminating food waste so for just 3 a package, you can enjoy the jetblue crackers and cheese. Trevor yes, if youve been craving pulverized crackers and cheese

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Distance show. Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor you know, during dark times like these im often reminded of the words of the great 20th century philosopher robert mcferrin, when he wrote, dont worry. Ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooooh ooh ooooh be happy now. Thats what were going to do now in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. Our first bit of good comes out of canada the only country where syrup has legal rights. And where one family found love in a hopeless place. Reporter carrie lynn ellis was not going to let coronavirus restrictions stop her from giving a big hug on mothers day. She and her husband created what they call the hug glove in their backyard of ontario, canada. It is a plastic sheet with sleeves in it to allow hugs while preventing direct contact. Ellis said she and her mother, they were in tears. Its hard to say if they were tears of joy, tears of laughter, or

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

So folks can get a breake from their stressful lidelives and relaxy with the cigarettes captioning sponsored by Comedy Central trevor hey, whats going on everybody welcome to another episode of the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah, and it is now day 59 of us staying inside to try and stop the spread of coronavirus and try to grow a beard. And heres your quarantine tip of the day if coronavirus is making you nervous, all you have to do is picture coronavirus naked. Yeah, it helps. In fact im doing it right now. And oh, my god. Coronavirus has a sixpack. The coronavirus is much stronger than we thought. Were screwed lets get into it. Welcome to the the daily social distance show. Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor you know, during dark times like these im often reminded of the words of the great 20th century philosopher robert mcferrin, when he wrote, dont worry

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

This is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor you know, during dark times like these im often reminded of the words of the great 20th century philosopher robert mcferrin, when he wrote, dont worry. Ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooooh ooh ooooh be happy now. Thats what were going to do now in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. Our first bit of good comes out of canada the only country where syrup has legal rights. And where one family found love in a hopeless place. Reporter carrie lynn ellis was not going to let coronavirus restrictions stop her from giving a big hug on mothers day. She and her husband created what they call the hug glove in their backyard of ontario, canada. It is a plastic sheet with sleeves in it to allow hugs while preventing direct contact. Ellis said she and her mother, they were in tears. Its hard to say if they were tears of joy, tears of laughter, or maybe a little bit of both. Trevor okay, im sorry, i dont want to cry, but this is the sweetest st

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