Items the late show with with Stephen Colbert tonights are you die and former director of the and aubrey plaza, featuring jeanbaptiste, and now live on ed sullivan theatre, Office Building in new york city, it is Stephen Colbert stephen i am right here. You can point at me all you want. I stand on my argument. Hello. Welcome to a late show. Im sorry about that. I am your host Stephen Colbert, if you are watching this at home right now, thank you. Please stay there. Because the pandemic is worse than ever. And i will tell you all about it in tonights installment of catch camp. Catch a third wave endless bummer. Hey, everybody. Get out, get out experts warned us this would be a dark winter and experts were right because yesterday american covid19 deaths and hospitalizations set records. This is a time to try mens souls, but if we can just get through it, we can get back to setting fun records like worlds biggest pancake, most old ladies stuffed in a bouncy castle, or most flammable banjo
He tweeted it in lower, sentence case. Thats as close as trump is gonna get to making a concession speech. Hes like a kid slowly realizing nobodys coming to his birthday party. We should never have given him that diet coke button thats hard to give up. This had to put a little crinkle in his tin foil hat. The department of homeland securitys cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency this is one of trumps own cabinet agencies, put out a statement debunking his claims of widespread fraud. They wrote, the november 3rd election was the most secure in american history. And then they took another dig at the boss baby, while we know there are many unfounded claims and opportunities for misinformation about the process of our elections, we can assure you we have the utmost confidence in the security and integrity of our elections, and you should, too. And how did the president react to that statement of reassurance from his own agency . Most fraudulent election in history [ laughter ] [
He didnt take questions from the reporters. But he did do his ceremonial duty in the rose garden, thats right, for the annual pardon of the white house turkey. I hereby grant you a full and complete pardon. Wow all the networks we have to forget about the law judges dont count [ laughter and applause ] jimmy enjoy your nightmares. Its the first turkey balesed with grecian formula. [ laughter ] trump did things a little differently this year. Instead of the usual pardon, they did a prisoner exchange. We pardoned two of theirs, they sent us two of ours. Smart. Why let the turkeys go for nothing . Just so the Vice President didnt feel left out this morning they let mike pence pardon a bowl of stuffing. [ laughter ] the president and first lady canceled their trip to maralago this week. Theyre planning to spend thanksgiving at the white house. What is that dinner going to be like . When they go around the table and ask what youre thankful for, everyone has to say him, right . Its more of a
Amy poehler, and more with the legendary roots crew. Its the tonight show staff favorites. D now, heres jimmy. Jimmy hi, guys welcome to the tonight show at home edition. This whole week, weve been asking our staffers to pick their favorites moments from the tonight show and late night. And since its thursday, were getting close to the best of the best and i love seeing these, not because their great memories but also i miss seeing all staffers faces. And i get to see their families, too. So please enjoy the best of the tonight show and late night. Hi, im cyndilom jimmys maks well as the make up Department Head one of my favorite memories is from 2014 when we were in orlando, florida at universal studios. Kevin hart was a guest and jimmy was able to convince him to ride this insane rollercoaster called hollywood rip ride rockit. A little behind the scenes tidbit and a slight confession i have to make, jimmy, im sorry, is that i accidently almost spilled the beans when kevin got the rid
[ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth how is everybody doing . [ cheers and applause that is great to hear. In that case, lets get started. So, you guys, tonight we are foregoing a monologue. We are foregoing a monologue were going to get to a closer look a little later in the show i am im just going to admit it, im a little hung over i am hung over, because we did not tape the show yesterday. I spent yesterday afternoon day drinking [ cheers ] weve done that before on our show i day drank with kelly clarkson. [ cheers and applause i day drank with the Barefoot Contessa herself, ina garten and we did it again yesterday with the one and the only, rihanna. Take a look. [ cheers and applause seth hey everybody its time once again for day drinking and were really excited about this one, because im here with rihanna. Hi. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause here we go, cheers wait, wait. You have to look at me with your eyes this is what i call a prom date. Are we going