Items the late show with with Stephen Colbert tonights are you die and former director of the and aubrey plaza, featuring jeanbaptiste, and now live on ed sullivan theatre, Office Building in new york city, it is Stephen Colbert stephen i am right here. You can point at me all you want. I stand on my argument. Hello. Welcome to a late show. Im sorry about that. I am your host Stephen Colbert, if you are watching this at home right now, thank you. Please stay there. Because the pandemic is worse than ever. And i will tell you all about it in tonights installment of catch camp. Catch a third wave endless bummer. Hey, everybody. Get out, get out experts warned us this would be a dark winter and experts were right because yesterday american covid19 deaths and hospitalizations set records. This is a time to try mens souls, but if we can just get through it, we can get back to setting fun records like worlds biggest pancake, most old ladies stuffed in a bouncy castle, or most flammable banjo. Still dangerous, but fun. Things are so bad that yesterday, ohio reached a 15 percent Positivity Rate and issued a new travel advisory so strict that the state is recommending ohioans avoid traveling to ohio and those entering ohio, after traveling from ohio are advised to self quarantine in ohio for 14 days. They have reached mobius quarantine ohios got its own tail in its mouth. Its a coronaouroboros. Its all explained in the states new tourism campaign, welcome to ohio. Dont come and never leave but despite the recordbreaking numbers, some folks are throwing caution to the wind, like secretary of state and king of pomptoberfest, mike pompeo. Pompeo is hosting a big party at the state department. How big . He is inviting 900 people. 900 people and i wasnt invited . Really. Do they i mean, do they know i am on the cover of vanity fair . What . What . I know that. I know that. This is how it is supposed to be. All the cool people do it this way. Look at that. I wouldnt go. I wouldnt go. But 900 people you would think they would throw me an invitation. It is not even a good idea to have 900 people not drink covid, 900 people is not a party. Anybody hundred people is an airport terminal, republicans arent the only ones ignoring the cdc. In a disappointing showing of bipartisanship california governor gavin new nm and San Francisco mayor london breed both traveled to napa valley for birthday dinners last month at the French Laundry, some people might think the name French Laundry means that the restaurant is clean, but remember its French Laundry so theres a lot of tongue. So delicious. Governor new some apologized, sort of. As soon as i sat down at the larger table, i realized it was a little larger group than i had anticipated. And i made a bad mistake. Instead of sitting down, i should have stood up. Stephen yeah, virus cant get you if you are standing. You can juke it. Whoo whoo thankfully a vaccine is on the way. But people might not take it, due to crazy conspiracy theories on social media that claim the vaccine is a clever cover for various forms of population control by a government deep state, private philanthropists or even satan. While there is precedent for the devil pushing immunization, he gave eve the apple and we all know that keeps the doctor away. Thankfully, former president s barack obama, george w. Bush and bill clinton have all volunteered to get the Coronavirus Vaccine publicly to prove its safe with. Obama saying i may take it on tv. Oh, yes thats must see, baby, forget the mandolorian, people really want to see next years biggest hit, someone elses doctor appointment. Turn your head, for justice. But listen, if obama, bush and clinton want to get vaccinated on tv, thats write work. Come on over, guys. You wouldnt be the first. Elvis presley in 1956, there he is backstage at the ed sullivan show. What is he doing . He is getting the polio vaccine. Stephen so president bush, president clinton, president obama, put your antibodies where your mouth is, come on my show and drop tro fuvment backstage at the ed sullivan theatre in my late show, immunotabulous expresident ial jabarama featuring physician it is assistant snoop dogg. You are going to get the vacsizzle. Thats a joke. Of course, we are fixing to get another expresident pretty darn soon, even though we cant get him to admit that. Lets learn the latest in cbs long running segment, i am a bitchy sniff i teeny peeny orange jello mussolini, here to steal your election away. The road from the white house house. Stephen you tell them that they have won. Stephen over the last four careers we have can occasionally talked about this administration, when it was appropriate and some of the crazy, you know, norm smashing they have done. Not often but sometimes. But now that its about a to be over the president s team are leaving it all on the field after they burn down the stadium. But now i am not scared about it or angry about it. I am just in awe of the sheer majesty of their stupidity. Case in point former National Security advisor and plan plotting to steal every la shrimp from that buffet, Michael Flynn on tuesday, the general retweeted an ad calling on the president to invoke limited marshal law. Yes. Limited. That means tanks will crush dissidents but only at participating arbys. Dont worry, it is not a forever coup. Flynn is calling on the president to temporarily suspend the constitution. That might help. Its like hamilton said in the federalist papers, are you having trouble with your democracy. Have you tried turning it off and on again. But one associate of the president still takes the crazy cake and thats attorney and hungover sweet potato Rudy Giuliani, rudy has been traveling the country trying to convince state legislatures to throw out the votes. And its not going that well. To start off, rudy and his team held unofficial hearings in arizona and pennsylvania hotels. I believe holding an unofficial hearing is also what rudy claims he was doing in another hotel. A hearing and a feeling. But yesterday, rudy finally has a chance to lay out his argument in front of actual legislators when he appeared in front of a Michigan HouseOversight Committee hearing. Yes, he finally got someone official to take his seriously, and he blew it, literally. Because listen to this actual recording of giuliani proving his case to the legislature. The answer that i gave you is they didnt bother to interview a garb. [ fart noise ] single witness. Stephen wow, rudy made a tootie. And it sounded fresh and fruity. We laugh but he was just citing the important legal precedent established in the landmark case of smelt it v dealt it. Gosh, can we please go back to when things were only leaking out of rudys head. Rudy wasnt the only person ruining his case because this was his star witness. The poll book is completely off. Completely off. Off by 30,000 . The id say that poll book is off by over 100,000. Stephen she can concluded her testimony by saying, i would like to speak to americas manager. Ill wait. Because i know you have it in size 6. I will wait. That woman there is alleged contractor for dominion Voting Systems and lady at the brunch butchering the phrase huevos rancheros melissa carone. Turns out melissa had a lot to say. That poll book, why dont you look at the registered voters on there . How many registers voters are on there . Did you even know the answer to that . No, i guess that i am trying get to the bottom of this here. Zero, zero, theres zero. Stephen congratulations to all of you who didnt travel for thanksgiving, you still get to see your cousin start a fight after three mimosas, if nana loved so so much how many of ofr marble coasters did she leave you . Zero, the one are the soilly line and the red one, zero. Well, melissa didnt spend the whole time accusing poll workers of messing with the vote count but also accused the legislators and ghosts. Are we saying the poll book is either wildly off or that they are wildly off. Stephen they are filling in names. Its wildly off and dead people voted. My question is, we are not seeing the poll book off by 30,000 votes. Thats not the case. What edes you guys do, take it and do something crazy to it . Stephen why is she biting her lip . What crazy thing does she think they did to the books . Whatd you do . Did you take books to a fancy hotel room, order some strawberries and champagne and give it a little back rub and then do something crazy to it . The kind of thing your boyfriend brian is too scared to try . I would like to talk to brians manager. Now, somebodys little girl. Now, why should we believe her . Well, according to melissa, because she signed a piece of paper. I know what i saw. I know that i know what i saw and i signed something saying that if im wrong i can go to prison. Did you . Stephen unassailable argument. Clenching rejoinder from the rostrum. You sign a piece of paper, mister and now if you are ever wrong you go to prison. That is the law. How do i know thats the law . I signed a piece of paper that says thats the law, and if i am wrong, why arent i in prison . Did you . This testimony was so not helpful, that at one point, Rudy Rudy Giuliani tried stop her. Thats how many. Wait. What about the turnout rate . 120 percent . Stephen its a bad sign when Rudy Giuliani thinks you going over the top. Its like the hull it can pulling you aside and saying hull it can think you need anger management. Hulk not like you when you angry. The president is trying to convince us that what we see and hear is no. Excuse me excuse me order in the court, your highness. Stephen i am sorry this is one of my writers, eliana kwartler. Eliana, what are you doing here . What are you doing here, sir . Do you even know the answer to that . Stephen look, i know shes a fun character to play but that doesnt mean you can just interrupt the monologue. Excuse me, objectionimon. This is my head writer, ariel. Not you too. Honestly elianas impression is off by like 100,000, like 120 percent. She has zero blonde hair. Zero. Hey, no fair i signed something that says if i am wrong, i go to prison. And i wrote it in lipstick on this cocktail napkin. Stephen okay, if you two could just let me finish my monologue. Excuse me, excuse me. If anyone gets to play the fun drunk lady its the most irish person. Stephen kate, you cant even pretend to be drunk. You are pregnant. I am allowed to have one pretend drink at dinner . Stephen you are all very talented but i did not ask any of you. Excuse me, excuse me. Stephen oh, my god, felipe you just wanted to do the impression, too . Oh i am not doing an impression. I am just drunk at work. Dead people are writing this show. Merry hanukkah. Stephen my writers, everybody. My drunk, drunk writers. We have got a great show for you tonight. I am going to be talking to to former director of Cyber Security and proper security agent, christopher correct, the guy trump fires but when we come back, meanwhile and i would like to talk to its manager. The late show with Stephen Colbert. Sponsored by the all new nissan rogue. E go to the beach . beep beep beep should we just go see a movie . Yes im always up for a good movie. Go rogue in the allnew, fiercely reimagined nissan rogue. During kohls weekend deals early. Plus, take an extra 25 off get up to 50 off family outerwear. Get an air fryer 149. 99. And get sweaters for the family 16. 49 and under plus, get kohls cash plus, free store pickup. Give with all your heart. Kohls dreya hey how are you so good at this . Relax. Get into it aw, yeah ive got it rated everyone. Sprinting past every leak in our softest, smoothest fabric. Shes confident, protected, her strength respected. Depend. The only thing stronger than us, is you. Scrub less with dawn ultra like a workout . Its superior greasecleaning formula gets to work faster, making easy work of tough messes dawn takes care of tough grease, wherever it shows up. Scrub less, save more. With dawn hello hello there he go, my baby never answers in the room steps outside, or puts it on snooze he just do whatever he do ou ee ou ou ee ou hello hello hello hello hello hello cross eerbody off heyour gift list. E emas. The whole squad lookin fly in the halfzips. Its the coziest fleecemas that ever existed. Shop cozy styles for everyone on your list. We holiday. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com stephen hey, everybody, welcome back to to late show, lets say hello. Hello, john. Oh man, come on, what is happening . Stephen i have got my head is turned to the holidays. Yeah. Stephen i am wondering, what do you want for christmas, john . I dont know what to get you. Wow. If you can give me peace on earth that would be great, but stephen i dont do you ever read the choose your own adventures books. Stephen yeah. You know book you can read and there are options. Stephen to to page 54, abc and you go back and forth in the book like that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, i have been trying to find a complete collection of those books, because i used to read i may have read all of them when i was a kid and i cant find them anymore. Stephen let me write that down. Now forget that you asked me, john. I mean you dont have to i am not going to, john. I am 100 percent not going to start looking for those. [ laughter ]. Stephen done, done. Have you got anything have you got any adventure music for us . Oh, my goodness, oh, yeah. Stephen high score. Jeanbaptiste, everybody. Thank you, john. Have a good one. Ladies and gentlemen, you know i spend a lot of type polishing hubcaps, installing premium leather interior packages, upgrading to satellite radio and putting together incredible holiday deals on new and certified preowned vehicles, all to form the spectacular toyotathon event that is my monologue, but sometimes, sometimes i like to spin down the odometer on a busted old saab, tape a garbage bag over the broken windows, high the words Steering Wheel not included in the fine print to hawk the discount karls non0 road worthy rattletrap jalopy of news that is my segment. Quarantinewhile stephen quarantinewhile. Country singer chase rice is in hot water for an insensitive series of tweets. Just lost my taste and smell. Weird. Also dropping a single at midnight. And then ten minutes later tweeted, on a real note, dont have covid. But i am dropping a single tonight. Not come to, chase, to use a Global Pandemic to hawk your latest project. We learned that years ago when shakespeare posted these flyers, coughing up blood, face covered in lesions, weird. On a real note, im healthy af, but you all should check out my new play hamlet, now that would be sick. Quarantinewhile, drake is selling a Scented Candle that smells like drake, to which Gwyneth Paltrow replied, uh, call me when it smells like drakes vagina. Quarantinewhile, oreo is releasing a lady gagainspired pink and green cook can kiss. Okay, as much as i love her, lady gagas oreos will never replace pat benatars hydro g quarantinewhile, i have already brought you news of the mysterious appearance of this upon lot in the utah desert last week and events so potentially paradigm shifting for the human race that i need to update you in my newest month literature themed meanwhile subsegment, monwhile, monwhile, the original utah desert monolith, is goneolith. Over the weekend we learned that the mysterious monolith was removed on friday evening. A photographer of the scene saw four member arrive as if out of nowhere to dismantle it saying leave no trace, this is our mission. Clearly government agents working for the department of funstomping. Come on, guys. Just let us have this we didnt have a chance to see if it shot out beams to melt anybodys bones. Then the mystery deep deepened because on friday another mysterious monolith suddenly appeared, this time in romania. Do these aliens not watch the news. American monoliths are not allowed to travel to europe. Please tell me this monolith did not celebrate thanksgiving. Now comes the news that the mystery monolith vanished in romania on tuesday then a new mysterious monolith appeared on top of a mountain a in california yesterday, how could it move that fast . Are we dealing with one monolith . Or is it it a pair of duoliths . Folks it is no coincidence that these monoliths appeared just before the great conjunction of jupiter and saturn coming up on december 21. Open your eyes, sheeple, these monoliths are clearly dormant supervisor spacetime energy nodes that will awaken at a specific pitch in the vibration of the enter planetary matrix to help us make the leap to the next great phase of Human Evolution reach beyond imagination and touch the very face of god, or its going to turn out to be like the Viral Campaign for mountain dew. Either way, i am here for it. We will be right back with the former director of the Cyber Security and Infrastructure Security Agency, Christopher Krebs. Welcome back, baby waiting for presents that might not arrive . This year, try shopping for Christmas Gifts live. Theres a place you can go where great gifts fill each shelf no need for shipping just grab them yourself come find perfect presents up through Christmas Eve at prices almost too good to believe so if you still need gifts and its already december this is the place to spend less and gift better t. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. Did you get a streuseltopped blueberry muffin because its a special day . Or is it a special day because you got a streuseltopped blueberry muffin . Meet the new bakery sweets at mcdonalds ba da ba ba ba windows open, im yelling unity side by side with my community celebrate, lets have a jubilee theyve been there for us lets be there for them who knows where that button is . I dont have silent. Everyone does right up here. It happens to all of us. We buy a new home, and we turn into our parents. What i do is help new homeowners overcome this. What is that, an adjustable spanner . Good choice, steve. Okay, dont forget youre not assisting him. You hired him. If you have nowhere to sit, you have too many. Who else reads books about submarines . My dad. Yeah. Oh, those are progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Look at that. Stephen hey, welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is the former director of the Cyber Security and Infrastructure Security Agency and the latest person to be fired by the president via tweet. Please welcome, Christopher Krebs. Mr. Krebs, thanks for being here. Hey, thanks for having me on. Stephen now, former director of i think that is the acronym how it is pronounced. Most people know you as the guy that is fired for saying this election was quote the most secure in American History. What leads you to say it is the most secure in American History . How do you know . Well, we have been working to secure this election for four years. We have been working with all 50 states, thousands of jurisdictions working with the entirety of the intelligence community, the department of defense, we worked to improve and secure the system and we just have a lot of confidence based on that work, based on the relationships and based on honestly the threats that we saw emerge and able to knockdown, there was no foreign interference with this election. Stephen but there were, we saw threats emerge and knock them down, can you tell us what the threats were you knocked down . Yes. So about, i think around october 22nd or so the iranians actually sent some emails around, you might remember that were purportedly from the proud boys. Stephen oh, right. Intimidating voters and we saw that. We were able to conclusively prove it was not iranians and got information out to the American People and about 27 hours from the first detection of those emails to the actual press conference and i think that was just a real historic rapid debunking of threats to our elections. Stephen you took an oath to protect against foreign and domestic threats. We expected the foreign threats. Did you expect these domestic threats to our faith in the integrity of our election . Because everyone has been giving the president a lot of rope, give him time, this is the first time he has ever lost w have to handle him with kids gloves but he is just getting worse. So everyone that enters federal service pledges an oath to defend the constitution from threats foreign and domestic and so thats what we did. We went in, we put country over party, yeah i am a lifelong republican, i am not ashamed to admit it but ultimately it was more important that this american experiment that times can seem so fragile, we had to protect it and move forward and yeah, there was domestic disinformation and it continues to this day that is actively undermining the American Voters confidence in the process and i think it is just it has got to stop. It has to stop. Stephen now, you are a high tech guy, i saw the cyber in the title there, but you love paper ballots. Why do you love paper ballots so much . Can we make it even more primitive . Should we just go with jellybeans in a can, what about your stick your finger in the dye thing people do somewhere in the world . That is i think that might be a little extreme, but look the approach here is keep it simple, stupid, and part of what paper gives you is something tangible that you can run back and you can check. You have got basically you have the receipts and you can go back and confirm the outcome, and so i think progress that Election Officials made over the last four years of getting more paper based, paper based systems out there, we have got to continue and we have to have all paper based and post election audits those are the things that we are going have to do to restore confidence in the elections. Stephen so with so Many Americans right now, and who knows it might be a fleeting loss of confidence, but with so Many Americans right now with a loss of confidence can in our elections, what do you think can be done to restore that . There is the thing that concerns me most right now, is these numbers you cite, we see it all over the place in traditional media and social media there are people actively questioning whether they should even participate in democracy, and my mention to them is you absolutely should have confidence in your Election Officials the first thing we need to do is continue investing no democracy, i think Congress Needs to fund more grants to modernize systems, the second is we have to get paper ballots out there to 100 percent, we are probably at about 90 percent right now. We need 100 percent paper ballots and meaningful post election audits, and the third thing is, we have got to get Civic Education back on the books in k12 and probably with adults too so we have got to do more to educate on how elections work and they are not just every four years. Stephen on tuesday, Georgia Election official dwayne sterling warned somebody is going to get killed due to trump and his followers rhetoric. Trump lawyer yes nova, i think, even made a threat about you, you should be drawn and quartered and shot at dawn. Do you have a message to the Republican Leaders who are fanning these flames . Look, we should be celebrating Election Officials and the people that are out there, getting them into their jobs, not fanning these flames as you put it, where they are the they are getting targeted and they are getting Death Threats. They are the heroes out there. We need to do more to support them and protect them and the real, you know, the longer tail on this issue is that these Death Threats are going to have a Chilling Effect on Election Officials going forward. I mean, who in their right mind would want to be an election official next cycle if the election doesnt turn out the way that some minority that they are going to send Death Threats to you. This is not how democracy can work. Stephen last night, and i know we have to get going here but i want, i saw the president s speech last night, the president went on a 46 minute rant that has been called by some the most dishonest speech of his entire presidency. I would like to run some of the claims that he said last night and have you fact check them, if you actually know the facts of these. There were glimpse in the domnion Voting System that changed votes from trump to biden. So i think that is the answer of county michigan issue and that was just two databases that werent stinking up, sinking is up properly and they fixed it and no issues, they had paper ballots, by the way that they always had stephen so thats a no . Votes made on a dominion Voting System are counted in foreign countries. Oh this one again. Ballots all of those are counted in the united states. I dont even understand this one. I just dont. Stephen in pennsylvania, ballots were taken and counted at a top secret location away from poll watchers. Yeah, i understand that one to be false, in fact i think the president told the lawyers that there was a nonzero number of observers in the room. Stephen the president said in nevada you can sign your name in santa claus and your vote would be accepted. That depends is your name santa claus . If your name is santa claus, then, yes. Stephen good point. They check signatures. Stephen good point in arizona mailin ballots were stolen from mailboxes and hidden under a rock. That one is true. There were ballots that has not been cast yet. But it is being investigated and those voters that whose ballots were stolen they were given the opportunity to still vote afterwards and notified. Stephen okay. In wisconsin, at 3 42 a. M. On Election Night there was a quote massive dump of suspicious votes for biden. He had a chart. Yeah. I am uncomfortable talking about this, just the massive dump thing. Stephen okay. But what happens is votes are sorted sometimes before they were entered into the system and you might see stacks of biden stacks of trump and what happened is they sorted and they entered it in, but again paper ballots, paper ballots, the ones and zeros in these machines is not the important thing. The it is paper ballots. Stephen Rudy Giuliani personally saw dead people voting, he was bitten by one of them, it has become a zombie situation and thats why he is slowly melting before our eyes. Stephen, i think we move on to the next stephen i made that one up. I made that one up. I was just checking. I was just checking. Well Christopher Krebs, thank you so much. Thank you for helping make our elections secure. Thank you for doing the right thing and saying the right thing publicly. Thank you. Stephen stay safe. Thank you. Stephen Christopher Krebs, everybody, we will be right back with aubrey plaza. 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In fact, subaru and our retailers will have proudly donated over two hundred Million Dollars to national and Hometown Charities through the subaru share the love event. vo get 0 for 63 months and subaru will donate 250 dollars to charity. So this aveeno® moisturizer goes beyond just soothing sensitive skin . Exactly jen calm restore oat gel is formulated with prebiotic oat. And strengthens skins moisture barrier. Uh i love it aveeno® healthy. Its our nature. ™ irish cream cold brew holiday a new way festive is a tap away download the app today walmart makes it easy with groceries, gadgets, and soo much icing. Lets end the year deliciously. Stephen hey, welcome back, everybody. My next guest is an actress you know from parks and recreation, legion, and the happiest season. She now stars in the new film, black bear. I think i am into traditional gender roles. Yes. No, really, i mean that. I dont know. I cant say a part of me doesnt want a man to just come along and take care of everything. Doesnt that kind of contradict your entire life . What about your films . Dont you think they are feminist . I dont think about them one way or the other. You dont think about them . How can you make them if you never think about it . Sometimes when you are, you know, making something you are not i am talking to her. Stephen please welcome to a late show, aubrey plaza. Hello, aubrey plaza. Hello, stephen, how are you . Stephen i am well. Nice to see you. Nice to see you too. Stephen now, you have i want to talk about black bear but also have to talk to you about happiest season, okay, people are very excited about this. Christmas is around the corner and you just, you just started on this big hit happiest season, spoir for anybody out there who hasnt finished it, but you have a message for the fans who think that you should have ended up with Kristin Stewart . Look, i wanted it too, okay . I am not going to lie. I wanted it too. The i wanted it very badly but i didnt write the thing and i didnt direct the thing i just showed up and did my job and got out of there. There are some things you just dont have control over. Stephen true. But i am not giving up hope for riley. I think that she has got a Bright Future ahead. Stephen you shot that in pittsburgh, right, before covid . Yes. Right before covid, in fact. Like covid was on our set, kristin got sick. Stephen we didnt no, we didnt know. Stephen wait is that news . Are we breaking news right now . Did everybody know sorry. Stephen no, i want that to be news. We call that an exclusive. Look. Anything you want to hear about kristin, i know. Because stephen we will dish, we are going dish later. We are going to get to the dirt. No, no. A lot of people got sick. It was like i think it was the last week of february, so people were starting it was like that stolen where people were starting to talk about coronavirus but people were kind of laughing about it, nobody understood how serious it was but i think a lot of people on our set got stick. I didnt, thank god. Stephen you havent gotten no. But when i was leaving the set and going to the airport, probably on like february 29th or something, i said to like one of the guys do you think i should be worried about this like virus thing . Like what is going on with this thing . And he went, it is already here. And i was like, what . He is like, oh that [expletive] has been in pittsburgh for a long time. And i was like, geez, all right. Anyway, he was right, joey. Stephen joey. You have to listen to those guys, they have been around. Thats their job. I know, i know. Stephen hey, what is to do in pittsburgh in the middle of the winter . I have never done that. Is it a fun town . Yes. Actually, i think pittsburgh has the one of the highest concentrations of bars in their city. I think they have the most. I could be wrong. I am not a scientist. Stephen say it. But i think they have the most bars than any city. Stephen you are not a bar scientist . No. I am not a community scientist, but i am pretty sure that they have the most like dive bars per capita. Thats the word. Stephen yep. Did you guys hit them . Is that how you found out that you hit all of these dive bars . We hit that. We did hit that. Indeed. And in fact, one of my most favorite we shot it in an amazing bar in the movie there is like a drag show scene, but the weekend before we shot that scene i dragged a lady out from one of the best bars i have ever been to, called the blue moon and they have an incredible it is a gay bar in pittsburgh, they have a drag show there, they have lots of things going on there and man that was a fun time. Stephen blue moon. Blue moon. Blue moon. Stephen the movie had a drive in premiere, was that your first drive in premiere, yes, it was, it was my first. And it was really great. It felt like i was in the sixties again. Stephen did people honk at the end . People not only honk at the end, but whenever anyone like gets excited they honk, like it is like and it is very natural thing, too. Like, you know, when people like when there is like a sexy thing, people lay on their horn, like they just cant get enough of it, and i have to say that what. Stephen i want to say maybe they are laying on their horn because there is some sexy things going on in their car. Thats how driveins work. Yeah. Stephen maybe there was an errant foot. You can do whatever you want in your car. Stephen you are not a lawyer be you are not a lawyer but i am not a lawyer. I am not a botanist, but you can do anything you want in your car car. But the one thing i really liked about it was they wouldnt let us take off our masks so we had to do like all of the redcarpet photos in our masks and kristin and i were both very upset about this because it is like i normally feel uncomfortable on those things but i was like, honestly, i dont want this to end. I want to keep this mask on every time i am getting my stephen we cant see any emotion with the mask. Is that okay or do you just like to drain it out of your face anyway . Oh, my face, it is hard for my pace to show me emotion anyway. Stephen can you show me your redcarpet mask work . Do you have a mask candy . I learned from tyra banks that you should always smile with your eyes. Stephen lets see it. Stephen that looks like you are desperately, your eyes are screaming call the police. Thank you so much. Stephen thank you. Wow. And that will get me a chanel campaign, watch out. Stephen aubrey we have to take a quick break but dont go anywhere, everybody. 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Hello clean bottom enjoy the go with charmin. On the most Reliable Network with xfinity mobile. In a land not so far away. People are saving hundreds they can choose from the latest phones or bring their own. And choose the data option thats right for them. They even get nationwide 5g at no extra cost. And since they are on the carrier rated 1 in customer satisfation, they live happily ever after. Again, again xfinity mobile. Your wireless. Your rules. Your way to stay closer together. Click, call, or visit an xfinity store today. Stephen hey, everybody, we are back with aubrey plaza. Last time you were on the show, we did Community Calendar on your hometown of wilmington, delaware, and you were actually once voted i found out the most famous person from delaware. You have some competition. Yes. Stephen joe biden now, you know, joe biden is the president of the united states. Yeah. Stephen and i understand that you are the refusing to concede to joe biden as the most famous person from delaware. I will not concede and in fact, i have many lawsuits coming after the news journal, the delaware news journal that they better watch out. Stephen sure. And they better count all of their clicks. It was an online poll and i want toes clicks counted. Stephen sure. Do you need a paper trail, i just spoke with Christopher Krebs from the Cyber Intelligence security agency, you have to have a paper trail on those clicks. Yes, i know. Krebs and i were like we always talk about this [expletive] stephen i would love to see you and krebs together. Krebs and me . Stephen you and krebs. I think that would be a great celebrity couple. Have you been to the white house before. Have you been to like a White House Party or Something Like that . No. Yes. I have never been to a party there but, no, i we shot parks and recs at the white house and we also shot in the Vice President s house, i think. Stephen the naval observatory. You fell asleep on bidens couch. Yes. I think i have a picture of it because they were taking so long, i think i fell asleep like in his office. I took something all off of his desk. The parks crew we got our hands all over that white house. We left our mark. Stephen lets talk about black bear for a moment here. You are getting great notices for this film. But i understand that you your mother was horrified by it and you dont want your grandmother to watch it because you dont think she can handle it. Why . Grandmothers are tougher than you think. Yes. Stephen they are like joe in transpo she has beamed some [expletive] i know. My grandmother has [expletive] actually but no, i know, my mother i think the movie is very it is very i am in a very vulnerable position in the movie and it is excruciating, painful to watch, my grandma she prefers my adam sandler movies, in fact there is only one, but she prefers that one. And she got to me adam sandler on the set of that movie and so she still is kind of feeling like they are best friends. So her that is like her thats her zone but black bear is, you know, maybe she will like it but she prefers anything with adam sandler. Stephen black bear is in theaters and available on demand this friday, aubrey plaza in a, and a series of dogs, everybody. We will be will be right back. Thank you, aubrey. Hey, thats it for a late show, everybody, tune in tomorrow when my guest will be common, plus a performance by andrea bocelli. James corden is next, everybody. Good night. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh the late late show, oh, oh the late late show oh