Thanks to kyle i got a golden twinkle in my eye aw, shit aw, shit captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is thursday, the 3rd of december, which means theres only 48 days left until donald trump is no longer president and can finally Start Building the first president ial library that has a ballpit. Anyway, coming up on tonights show drake wants to be in your house, ivanka trump wants to stay out of prison, and ludacris is joining me on the show. So lets do this, people welcome to the daily social distancing show. Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick it off with the coronavirus pandemic. Its the reason you know what all your coworkers bedrooms look like without creating a problem for h. R. Right now, things are not looking good all over the world, and especially not in the united states. In
Well, looks like weve saved our country from british rule once again. S yeah, it just proves we need to learn not to profile one race of people. St of well, baahir, i was thinking that aybe maybe i owe you an apology. Really . I realiz yes, but then i realized that, technically, i dont. Because by being suspicious of you,d your l i saved your life and everyone elses. S so, really, you owe me an apology. But thats cool. Didnt you didnt save everyone i did you were just out harassing muslims but if i hadnt called you in the first place to check out the muslims,t d you would have just stayed in bed sick all day, right . Maybe. Maybe . Aybe . If i hadnt called you, you wouldnt have been on your computer checking out the clinton rally. Omp that means my intolerance of muslims saved america. That is so missing the point. Being a me being a bigot stopped a nuclear bombop thats not the right way to look at it yes or no, kyle . Oure s no. Not not like youre saying. G. Aut thats all im saying. R
Couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor sunshine its something we all could use right now, second only to moonshine. And while i cant legally give you my homemade backyard hooch, i can give you some good news of the day. Lets kick things off with chuck e. Cheese ground zero for the next pandemic. While most restaurants in the age of coronavirus have switched over to delivery, chuck e. Cheese was faced with the ultimate dilemma how do you get people to order your crappy food when the only reason they ever came to your establishment was to entertain their kids and buy weed from the assistant manager . Well, it turns out, all it takes is a little oldfashioned american reporter chuck e. Cheese is accused of tricking some grubhub users. Several customers say they placed orders at pasquallys pizza wings. They thought they were supporting a local business. Every address for pasquallys routes back to a chuck e. Cheese. Well, turns out pa
Distancing show. Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor in the age of corona, keeping up with the news can feel a little demoralizing, its like weve been on a Spirit Airlines flight for a month. Spirit airlines the truth is i actually miss you guys. So to keep our spirits up, its nice to take a moment to remind us of the notsoscary things going on the in the world, in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. All right, lets kick it off with ikea the Perfect Place to buy furniture thats cheap, but looks cheap. The Swedish Company has decided to release an easy version of the recipe for its famous meatballs so that you can make them at home. And since quarantine already has you fighting with your significant other, once youve got the meatballs, youll have the entire ikea experience. Now, this is a really cool idea, although, the last time i ate meatballs at ikea, it gave me some
Social distancing show with trevor noah. As bad as things may seem right now, its important to remember that the world hasnt technically ended yet. I mean its going to happen but you have to figure we have at least a few weeks left. So in the mean time lets think positive with a little ray of sunshine. Lets kick it off with a story that will make everyone smile, well, everyone except the coronavirus. This lady has seen a lot in her life. She survived the spanish flu, early in the last century and now at 101 she has just beaten covid19 it. Call her supergranny. Angelina friedman proudly shares i am 101 years old and i beat covid19. The westchester, new york woman, not only beat the coronavirus at her nursing home but plifd through the 1918 spanish fluvment her family says she possesses superhuman dna. Do you feel good. Yes, i do. Thank you. Good. Damn, this woman lived through the spanish flu and beat coronavirus . Not to mention that in 2010 she also beat bieber fever, she was one of t