Transcripts For MSNBCW Unconditional 20240706

[richard] whats up there, fella . See, im richard, your son. Let me put this amplifier on you. Test, test, test. How are you . Im richard. Stephen Mumbles yeah. Youre so good. Thank you. People Chattering how are you . Okay. You good . somber music all right, here it goes. Dont try to eat it now. Not bad, huh . somber music you like this, dont you . I know you like this. Soft Piano Music thats it, kiddo. Caring for dad is a challenge of physical and Mental Health. It was a lonely road until i found others. Do you have nightmares . Soft Piano Music tell us about the injury. [luke] my mind was a mess. We get lost in there. Just suicidal. With cancer, thats dangerous. Were everywhere. I wish i could be there for all of it. Im not ready. Me and matthew. Join energy. laughs have fun fall deeper in love. This is a common experience. Soft Piano Music Car Engines Rumbling okay, youre almost there. We have to. No, you have to throw your gum first. Throw your gum. Yeah. [carer] okay. Okay, brush your teeth now. Thank you. [carer] all right, okay. Okay, go again and then close this. Yes. Turn off. Use this one. Okay. laughs thank you. Youre so good. My first son, richard. Okay. Yes laughs you have to go walking now. Thank you, sir. Move forward, one. Oh, yeah. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. The father ive known eight, seven. Has been disappearing. Electronic Bubbling mouses. Computer Dings still my dad, but our relationship is definitely changing. Electronic Bubbling babble. At age 15 when we were living on jackson street. Oh yeah. And went to indistinct . And then, i was baptized there. It was the greatest blessing throughout my whole life. There it is. Yeah. Its a beautiful one. Little by little, alzheimers, its basically just taking away little bits of his brain. Egyptian. All right. And maybe a little bit of me too. Group Chattering here we are at dinner with my aunts and uncles about eight years ago. And you can see him, he seems totally fine. But the youngest of his 12 siblings pulls me aside and says, hes forgetting our names. And not too much later, he was diagnosed with alzheimers and that started the road. Well get your mother. Well, shes gonna wait for us here cause were coming back. Okay. soft music when i saw you. Youre a big, big joy to me, richard good to see you too. I love you so much i love you too. Soft Piano Music its okay. You dont want gum. What . He was mid stage at that point. I think we get off here. We get off here. All right. My mom, it was taking care of an 84yearold child 24 hours a day. She needed my help because he kept wanting to leave and open doors and wander in the streets. Thats fresh tuna fish . Keep on eating subway sandwiches or going and buying donuts. Which one . Theres so many before. He drove straight through, all the way through that back wall. You know, he liked to poop everywhere. I clean up his poop and he had the strength to open up drawers and turn on stoves and try to open cans with a fork. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And he did it. Soft Piano Music People Chattering hi, im richard lui, live at Msnbc Headquarters here in new york city. Thanks for being with us today. We just have some new information on the breaking news story. The Mass Shooting Come Out of el paso, texas. Ive been a journalist for 15 years. Were gonna continue next with Reverend Al Sharpton and politics nation. Stick around. Well be right back. All right. Right . The last second there, ron. Did you see that . I see. Oh, i tell ya. Being an anchor, you normally work eight days a week, 25 hours a day. Run. Run. Get out of here before its too late. I dont know, man. You know how it goes. Im not going anywhere. Haven. Hi. I went to my bosses and i said, you know, my dad just got diagnosed and i know where this is going. She and i came up with a plan so that i could work part time. So i work from Friday To Sunday and then monday i get up, to the airport, fly from new york to san francisco. Its a 10hour door to door. Immediately go to care for my dad. Thank you, sir. Fridays, i get up and i reverse the entire trip and thats three times a month, about 300,000 miles a year. January 20th, were taking a quick little walk. Say hello to baba. Yeah. Youre so good, i told you. Ah, youre so good, son. Soft Piano Music when i wasnt looking after my dad, i was learning from others what it meant to be a caregiver. Its critical to document the caregiver journey. To convey the impact on their physical, psychological, financial, and social wellbeing. Now its three phases. Yeah. And we start with becoming aware and adjusting. Yeah, which is the most difficult thing. It was probably three or four years before i began to selfidentify as a caregiver even though i was providing those did you say three or four years . Three or four years. Absolutely. The future we once planned its impossible now. Right. So were trying to build a new one thats just as good, maybe better. Its just hard coming to grips with the different part. They felt like they were on the same lonely road that i thought i was on. You dont take yourself. Im a caregiver for my husband whos a [richard] until we realized were everywhere. My children are or were ready to be caregivers. Wow, all no. Everybody is battling thats when i found amy bushatz. Shes also a journalist and her beat was caregiving stories. She was also living through it herself. Letting my local community understand about caregivers and thats not something that we do. The longer that i spend in my community in alaska, the more i see thats true. But the more they get to know me and they understand why this is important and so they get to know luke, right . And they get to see this is who he is and this is what we deal with at home and this is maybe the part that you dont see everyday. [richard] right. And so, i headed to alaska to see what amy and luke were living through at home. soft music soft music continues no, its sad that. Close enough. Yeah. Okay, good stuff. Hey, steve, i am hunting down some information about the childcare aware contract, which is, of course, the ones that gives the subsidy if childcare on base is full. When i married a guy in the military, my local news became Military Spouse and family issues. Ive been covering Military Spouse and family news about eight years now. Sailors and their families more money. Luke Speaks Indistinctly im making them some breakfast. You wanna do lunches . Sure. Cool. Its not super cold, so you could probably wear short sleeves with a sweatshirt if you want. Its like 34. Its warm laughs . Dave, eggs, table. Okay. Thank you, sir. Hucky, sit down, honey. You guys want some carrots . Not at all. [luke] not at all . All right, well, you have to have some carrots, okay . Dave, do you want yogurt . No. [luke] thank you, sir. Luke got out of the military on july 1, 2016. And as far as i was concerned, okay, he had some struggles, but hes not disabled. Lets go, big guy. Okay. We know he struggles with ptsd. We think he probably bonked his head a couple times. His neck hurts. Sometimes, he has headaches. Not a big deal, okay . So then, one day, at least in our house, you wake up and theres this huge sum of money in your bank account from the va. Hmm . What . Can i see the list . Mmhmm. Holy mother. Mmhmm. cause he has, at this point, gone through the process to be rated, you know, what are your disabilities . Yeah. And its just like this laundry list, page after page after page. Mild traumatic brain injury, percentage, description, cardiac disease, percentage, description. And we discovered that the va actually considers him not 100 disabled, more like 350 disabled. Dave got that yesterday from school. [luke] yeah, he got it yesterday. Is the only library book . And i found that really sad. I felt like i was now dealing with somebody who was proclaimed broken and i didnt know really how to process that and what to think about that. Its upstairs. Do you want a hat . Thank you. Get your backpack. Please go to school. I love you. I hope you have a great day. Okay. somber music yeah ah somber music limu emu doug what do we always say, son . Liberty mutual customizes your car insurance. So you only pay for what you need. Thats my boy. Now you get out there, and you make us proud, huh . Bye, uncle limu. Stay off the freeways only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. vo when it comes to safety, who has more iihs top safety pick plus awards, the highest level of safety you can earn . Subaru. When it comes to longevity, who has the highest percentage of its vehicles still on the road after ten years . Subaru. And when it comes to value, which brand has the lowest cost of ownership, lower than toyota, honda, or hyundai . Subaru. Its easy to love a car you can trust. Its easy to love a subaru. What are folks 60 and older up to these days . Getting inspired volunteering playing pickleba. at tmobile, your business will save over 1000 bucks. What are you going to do with it . I could use a new sign. With tmobile for business, save more than 1000 bucks versus verizon. And get the new Samsung Galaxy s23 plus free with no tradein required. Bug spray works best. When your family actually wears it. Get odorfree eight hour protection from mosquitoes and ticks without the ick. Zevo onbody repellent. People love it. Bugs hate it. People love it. Wow, that mustve been tough. So, luke, tell us about the injury. I sustained my real bad tbis, traumatic brain injury, a decade ago, 2009. A big one would be my vehicle rolling over an ied and blowing up. Most ieds go up around a vehicle and theyre literally crushed by a Shockwave Inside of it. I was in a vehicle where i was crushed to the point that there were armored doors that blew off the vehicle and released the pressure. If they hadnt have been there, i would not be sitting here today to talk to you. I wouldve been turned into internal jello. bombs blast highpitched whirring but brain slams up against your skull and it is damaged, bruised, and needs time to recover. I probably shouldve went and laid down for 10 days in a dark tent, but i took some aspirin, went and threw up in my room, and went back to work the next day. highpitched whirring Objects Clattering Objects Clattering somber music i find healing in the mountains for myself mentally, emotionally, even physically. Check. After 10 years on active duty, of 10 years of war, we moved here knowing that it was going to help me heal and, therefore, or family to heal, to grow, to be better. We needed a fresh start. We needed to start over. Six, one. When we moved here in 2016 and he was home all the time thats when i really started noticing the forgetfulness. [luke] one nonlocking carabineer. Check. One nonlocking carabineer. Check. Multiple times, he would set his bag of pt stuff on the back of his car and drive away. Just a lot of stuff right and left. Like, where is it . Did you leave the stove on, you know . Just spacing out. He let our kids out for a walk and forgot they were gone. State trooper brought them back. It was very embarrassing. Probe, two sets. Avalung. Ski straps, ski straps, ski straps. 10 meters, one each. Sometimes, youre husband forgets things. My wife takes it for granted that i will forget things and is pleasantly surprised when i dont. Okay, brother, the reason im calling is i have a lot of redundant gear for the climb up hood. I think that covers a lot of the stuff youre gonna need outside of clothing other than a harness and a helmet. I think you should get your own helmet and your own okay. Harness. The only thing i recommend is you need to pick up your own harness and you need to pick up your own helmet. Okay, okay. So things that would be normal for other people, they dont think that way. Its almost as if going from a to z, i will go a, b, m, c, q, z. soft music its very tempting to be angry at him. I taught myself to stop and recalibrate. We are angry at the brain injury, we are not angry at luke. Now, i would love to be able to tell you that when hes being weird or crazy i think, oh, he must be having a headache, and, oh, lifes so hard for you. Like, lets be really understanding. That is not laughs at all what happens, inevitably, right . I say, you are acting like a psycho, so laughs . [luke] indistinct thats good, amy. No, its not good at all. Living with someone with a brain injury is very stressful. soft music how do i deal with that . How do you deal with that . Well, i mean, i see a therapist, so laughs . Staaaaacccceeeyyy im the sizzle in this promposal. And tonight, sparks are gonna fly. Kyle . And while romeo over here is trying to look cool, things are about to heat up. Uhoh. Darn it, kyle and if you dont have the right Home Insurance coverage, you could end up paying for this yourself. Sorry mr. Sanchez get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem, like me. Thats a hard no. Im still tasting whats next. Even with higher stroke risk due to afib not caused by a heart valve problem. So if theres a better treatment than warfarin. Im hungry for that. Eliquis. Eliquis reduces stroke risk better than warfarin. And has less major bleeding than warfarin. Eliquis has both. Dont Stop Taking Eliquis without talking to your doctor as this may increase your risk of stroke. Eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. Dont take eliquis if you have an Artificial Heart Valve or abnormal bleeding. While taking, you may bruise more easily. Or take longer for bleeding to stop. Get help right away for unexpected bleeding, or unusual bruising. It may increase your bleeding risk if you take certain medicines. Tell your doctor about all planned medical or dental procedures. The number one cardiologistprescribed blood thinner. Ask your doctor about eliquis. One prilosec otc each Morning Blocks heartburn all day and all night. Prilosec otc reduces excess acid for 24 hours, Blocking Heartburn before it starts. One pill a day. 24 hours. Zero heartburn. Blocking heartburn before it starts. soft music one pill a day. 24 hours. Zero heartburn. We register isolation, discord, alienation, in the exact same way that we register a physical threat. Over time, that can become difficulty with complicated thinking, communicating with other people, even displaying empathy. So in that way, our isolation can become self perpetuating. I happened to meet kate when she was an expert on my show. Joining me now is Kate Hendricks thomas, a former marine and board member of the Service Womens action network. She was the leading voice in the world of veteran wellness. Kate, when you were serving, were you aware of this . Well, the scale and the reach of the Current Issue is certainly larger than anything i faced while i was on active duty. cause when i was an officer of marines thinking back, i felt like the questions i needed to ask myself now emotionally were something she knew well. So i reached out to visit kate. soft music soft music continues im gonna try Something Different for dinner tonight. Oh, no. So wish me luck. Please dont. Hey, im trying to do something that matthew will eat. Thats my goal. Meatballs. Hello, honey bunny. Mama, can i eat something . Im gonna make dinner right now. Take your shoes off. You dont need shoes on in the house. Youre gonna try my meatballs. Mama, i want waffles. You can have waffles after meatballs. Mmhmm. I want the waffles and toast. You can have toast and meatballs. [shane] i mean, you gotta have protein, dude. [kate] go sit at your spot and wait. [shane] we first met when were at tuscaloosa. She was going for her phd. I had just gotten back from iraq and i was finishing up my masters degree. [kate] he was just a steady person of character and integrity and loyalty. In 2014, we got married. And matthew was born that same year. And it has been a whirlwind ever since. And about four weeks after he was born we moved to South Carolina so i could start my first job as a professor. [shane] she has written three books. She has done three ted talks. We make up about seven percent of the population. As long as i strove to be perfect, as long as i never used ramps on the obstacle course, i could be part of the club and i love that club. I focus, a lot of the time, on trying to make the transition back to civilian life easier for military women. [shane] her mission in life was trying to cater to people who were clearly in need. But i have to balance her out. She would constantly say, yes, and. But overexerted herself one too many times. You have something called innate resilience. [shane] and i cant always be there to be her guardrail. Its actually not bad, right . Youre pleading the fifth . laughs ill let the middle of the night tell me whether or not [kate] its not bad. Youre not gonna get food poisoned. No. No way. Youre right. Thats right. [kate] good . Thank you. Matthew teaches me well. soft music siren wails Monitor Beeping People Chattering why cant i get a recliner . Husband chairs arent made to be comfortable. Yeah. Except in the mall. Yeah. Then they are designed to be comfortable cause a happy husband means a happy wife. Mmhmm. Well i appreciate you being here. Its so hard to sit still for this whole thing. The oncologist said that it looked like somebody had taken kate and dipped her from head to toe, every bone in her body. She said, were looking at about six to 10 years. And my initial response was, you mean six to 10 years for the treatment to finally take effect or what do you mean . And she didnt answer. I realized that that was how long kates gonna be on this planet. Cancer attacks the person and it only has one mission. And you dont know when its gonna complete that mission. bird squawks chemotherapy is expensive. Just a little bit. We need to keep this for kindling. In this house, we say the word cancer, cancer, with a little lilt in our voice because we dont want to scare matthew. He doesnt really get yet that were talking about it just being him and daddy at some point. We havent really gone there yet. If you want. Sure. somber music he knows that my natural tendency is to move fast. You know, the phrase i always use is power through. Youve gotta power through some hard things and with cancer thats kinda dangerous. laughs now were gonna get up, right . Now were up. Now we feel good. I dont wanna lose my image of myself as somebody that takes care of other people. Like, thats always been such a big part of my identity that the idea of slowing down and letting other people do for me feels like losing myself. soft music one time, me and matthew were down here and playing or doing something and she was standing on those stairs and had tears streaming down her face. And said that it felt like every bone in her body was writhing and pinging in pain and matthews standing right there with me and looking up at her. And you cant do anything, i mean. soft music trying to control my asthma felt anything but normal. Enough was enough. I talked to an Asthma Specialist and found out my severe asthma is driven by eosinophils, a type of asthma nucala can help control. Now, fewer Asthma Attacks and less oral steroids thats my nunormal with nucala. Nucala is a oncemonthly addon injection for severe eosinophilic asthma. Nucala is not for sudden breathing problems. Allergic reactions can occur. Get help right away for swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or trouble breathing. Infections that can cause shingles have occurred. Dont stop steroids unless told by your doctor. Tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. May cause headache, injection site reactions, back pain, and fatigue. Talk to your Asthma Specialist to see if oncemonthly nucala may be right for you. And learn about savings at nucala. Com theres more to your life than asthma. Find your nunormal with nucala. Moving forward with node positive Breast Cancer is overwhelming. But i never just found my way; i made it. And did all i could to prevent recurrence. Verzenio reduces the risk of recurrence of hrpositive, her2negative, nodepositive, early Breast Cancer with a high chance of returning, as determined by your doctor when added to hormone therapy. Hormone Therapy Works outside the cell. While Verzenio Works Inside to help stop the growth of cancer cells. Diarrhea is common, may be severe, or cause dehydration or infection. At the first sign, call your doctor, start an antidiarrheal, and drink fluids. Before taking verzenio, tell your doctor about any fever, chills, or other signs of infection. Verzenio may cause low white blood cell counts, which may cause serious infection that can lead to death. Lifethreatening Lung Inflammation can occur. Tell your doctor about any new or worsening trouble breathing, cough, or chest pain. Serious Liver Problems can happen. Symptoms include fatigue, appetite loss, stomach pain, and bleeding or bruising. Blood clots that can lead to death have occurred. Tell your doctor if you have pain or swelling in your arms or legs, shortness of breath, chest pain, and rapid breathing or heart rate, or if you are nursing, pregnant, or plan to be. Im making my own way forward. Ask your doctor about everyday verzenio. vo this is sadie. Shes on verizon, and she has the new myplan where she gets exactly what she wants ask your doctor about and only pays for what she needs. She picks only the perks she wants and saves on every one all with an incredible new iphone. Get iphone 14 pro on us when you switch. Its your verizon. Tourists tourists that turn into scientists. Tourists taking photos that are analyzed by ai. So researchers can help life underwater flourish. When it comes to your hair, ingredients matter. Thats why Herbal Essences is packed with naturally derived Plant Ingredients you love, and none of the stuff you dont. Our sulfatefree collections smell incredible. And leave your Hair Touchably soft and smooth. Herbal essences Car Engines Rumbling soft music continues im going to an intake appoint with the tbi clinic to do whats called a round table consult with a bunch of doctors and the tbi clinic. This is my second round table, my first up here. I bring her along to fill in the gaps. Well, so this is actually my first time doing one of these. But its putting you together doing this. And youre going in a very difficult environment. Yeah, im sort of hoping to have a chance to just weight, like counterbalance. Thats really like a major part of the caregiver thing, right . Yeah. That he has a perception of his injuries and he has a perception of how he deals with stuff and then i have a totally different perception. For example, we did an Intake Appointment once with a doctor who asked him like, do you have nightmares . Or, do you have flashbacks . And he said, no. And i said, oh, im really sorry, but, yes, you do. There might be things that you need to discuss that you havent discussed and those get missed and that hurts. But at the same time, its also a place where potentially your spouse, your caregiver, can learn more about where youre hurting and how they can help. [richard] could she Say Something that might hurt you . Yes, but i could also Say Something that could hurt her, you know . Its hard to look in the face of your trauma. The hardest thing is watching the emotional toll. I cant fix that. I cant influence that at all. I can put him in front of resources, i can go with him to appointments. I can, you know, remember to make the phone call that he cant remember to make, put it on his calendar so he can do it. I cannot control how he feels about stuff. 2012 was when, like, we realized there was a big problem. Honestly, our marriage fell apart. I was completely giving my life to my career and service to the army. And it wasnt until 2015 that i made the decision to leave active duty. So there was like a threeyear period there just pain. Im gonna get dave. Okay. You mean huck. Huck. Huck. Im gonna go get huck. If i can find my wallet. Getting huck, getting huck. Car Engine Rumbling so my perspective, driving is a little different than other people. What i look at is, all right, im coming in to a turn and i know that this turn cuts and then turns left. This is a perfect setup for an l ambush. So if i wanted to, i would put a bomb right around the corner and then one right in here. Id take out the front and lead vehicle and then i would just kill everything in between. [richard] so do you still think that way . Occasional. Or also all the time. Everything can be a threat. Every scrap of trash, every misplaced tree landing. The further away you are from combat, the easier it is to disassociate yourself from those threats until youre triggered. alarm rings when i came back from deployment, i started using substances to dull the pain, overthecounter medications, alcohol. Yeah, you could tell my heart rate was going up. I worked crazy, insane hours, had constant alertness, watchfulness, inability to sleep. We were about to redeploy to afghanistan, but id go for a run and i literally got, like, a quarter mile down the road and i had this massive pain in my left side and i, like, fall into the bushes and just lay there. I had 90 blockage in two arteries. They were like, were doing Emergency Surgery on you tomorrow morning. The cardiologist was like, i dont know how youre alive. Heartbeat Thumping your job is killing you. I was 29 years old. After that, like, i literally spiraled out of control. My mind was a mess. I can do my job, great. That world i get. You want me to go home and be emotionally available to my wife and kids . The chaos of my home, the chaos that i created, i didnt understand. Can you sit . In the indistinct huck a buck. Our dad is a proud guy, but a lot of stuff goes on with him. He went to war when davey he went to war when davey was one. Got a endless headache. David, he went to war when david was one. A war thats still going on. He protects our country. The whole thing. He also protected the whole west. Yes, that is true. [huck] well, a bomb went off on his vehicle. He was blown up and it hit his head. How do you talk about that with mom and dad . We just barely. We dont talk about it really at all. I come down, i see him putting his hands over his head and i leave him alone. Some mornings, his headache is big. Some morning its small. Sometimes, he wakes up crying. There we go. [luke] david, a lot of times, will be, like, very consciously trying to be quiet or a lot of days itll be a migraine. But a lot of days itll be like, because i have this low end headache, im, like, super irritable. Hes the one that will be, like, visibly upset. I just like sense it. soft music his face doesnt look normal. All right. I see my dad and i get that weird feeling that hes feeling pretty bad. So hold at engine start. Okay. drone whirs just like youre doing. You wanna keep it near us. Oh, too much, too much, too much too many movements. Okay. Very small movements. Okay. Got it . I need to get better at this. Yeah. Well practice some more. If you think about somebody in terms of ptsd or tbi and if youre emotional capacity is as cup and youre operating at almost full at the time. And you wake up in the morning and now today you have a migraine, so now you are full. And it disintegrates, right . Its just all falls apart. Hey, dave, put this away, please. Ive asked you. This is the third time ive asked you to do it. Kid rolls his eyes and it, boom, thats it. dramatic music and we explode. glass shatters anger and frustration and rage at times. And theyre kids. kids laughing glass shattering what i really want in those moments is for him to just go away. Like, retreat, retreat, you know . Like, if you need to cool off, go downstairs. But that takes him admitting, like, im having a problem right now, i need to go, and thats hard. soft music at one point, amy had been, like, listen, you gotta go. Like, youre out of control. Your Substance Abuse is out of control. Your behavior is unacceptable the way youre treating me and the children. It was kinda like make or break. amy grunts he was imploding so much and full of so much Self Loathing that he was willing to throw away whatever. Go, amy. soft music amy grunts and then, comes this terrible, terrible moment where im standing in my bedroom looking at my husband who is literally sitting on the floor crying saying that he doesnt know why hes here, doesnt know why hes alive. somber music [luke] in early 2014, i was really broken emotionally. I was having suicidal ideations. I was making a plan how to kill myself. When youre in your own mind, we get lost in there. It was the darkest moments in my life. vo adventure on a deeper level. The Subaru Forester wilderness. Dog tested. Dog approved. Love. Its what makes subaru, subaru. Whoa. Okay. Easy does it. We switched to Liberty Mutual and saved 652. They customize your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. With the money we saved, we thought wed try electric unicycles. Whoa careful, babe saving was definitely easier. Hey babe, i think i got it its actually. Whooooa ok, showoff help oh only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. One prilosec otc each Morning Blocks heartburn all day and all night. Prilosec otc reduces excess acid for 24 hours, Blocking Heartburn before it starts. One pill a day. 24 hours. Zero heartburn. Show summer whos boss Blocking Heartburn with wayfairs memorial day clearance. Shop all the top grills and outdoor essentials, up to 30 off. With smokin fast shipping. And get wayfair deals so epic, itll feel like youre getting away with something. Yes so take summer into your own hands and get extra outdoorsy with wayfairs memorial day clearance. May 22 through may 30. Wayfair youve got just what i need ma ma ma ma [clears throut] for fast sore throat relief, try Vicks Vapocool drops with two times more menthol per drop , and the powerful rush of vicks vapors for fastacting relief you can feel. Vicks vapocool drops. Fast relief you can feel. Vicks vapocool drops. Soft Piano Music Passengers Chattering fast relief you can feel. Car Engines Rumbling Soft Piano Music you want it . No, you cant do that. You left too much on. laughs okay. I cant see. After the emotional toll of caring for my father at home reached a breaking point, we made that tough decision to move my father into an assisted care facility. It was better for everybody, but its tough. My sister really wanted him to be at home. I did too, but i knew it was tearing my mom up. She couldnt keep up. When we left or when we werent here, it was all her. My mom slept on the couch every night so that if my dad got lost or opened the door to try and leave she was there. Mom never complained. She never said anything. She just did it. But she never slept in the bed again. [rose] he likes this though. Richard Chuckles [richard] hes got that itch going on there. Well, okay, lets see what. Stephen Groans okay, youre gonna exercise your fingers then, okay . Up, one, two. Stephen Groans three. You wanna sing . [richard] yeah, twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Here, use this you sing it. No. Ill do one little piggy. No, you one little. [richard] thats your specialty, mom. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star how i wonder what you are up above the world so now, hes at a different stage, which means the challenges have shifted. Like a diamond in the sky he cant walk. None of those things that existed before are happening. How i wonder Stephen Groans oh, thats enough. You really cranky, baba . Stephen Groans okay, its cause you had a little water. Alzheimers took away the ability for my dad to swallow. He basically forgot how to do it. The food would go into his lungs, which would cause not only coughing, but potentially deadly pneumonia. Come on over here. So this one is french toast, this is eggs. For the food, i use the white spoon. My dads doctors had brought up putting in a stomach tube, but they also told us its invasive and rarely successful and actually advised against it. And well just wait for this little thing to show him to swallow. You can do it. We put together this very intricate, elaborate system of Spoon Feeding at the first facility he went to. Ill use the large black spoon for the Cream Of Wheat cause it can hold more. But it wasnt working. My fathers lowest weight was in the 90s. The very idea of him having a stomach tube and getting fed with a formula, that was after great debate in my family about what was best for him. I love you. Youre so wonderful. One time, in the hospital, the doctor sat down my mom and me and he said, we cannot feed your dad. Your dad keeps regurgitating. You need to think about letting him go, like now. Hang in there, baba. I mean, we know this one patient so well. Sometimes, we had to fight what the advice was. We ended up putting in the tube. Going for a ride. rose laughs and it is what has been able to keep him with us. All right, be careful of his fingers, mom. All right, fella. No, no, thats too loose. Itll come right off. No. [rose] i just want it just dont make it too tight. Im not. Are you gonna plan to read to him or not . Oh, chapter eight, right . Jesus went to the Mount Of Olives at dawn. He appeared again in the temple courts. Stephen Mumbles yes. indistinct verse . Yeah. You remember this one . My father wanted to become a youth pastor, but it just wasnt enough to support the family. So he became a Social Worker and my mom an Elementary School teacher in some of the most difficult schools. They did not pick wellpaying jobs. It was a sacrifice. We were on food stamps. But its the way they wanted to do it. Its been super instructive for me this quiet lesson, right . You need to live the way you want others to live. You dig it . Hey, pastor lui. rose laughs doing good. Hes giving you that kind of questioning look . Youre wondering what im reading, dont you . Okay. Were done bugging ya. Ooh, wee, wee, oop. He told me i looked good earlier. You look good . Yeah. Hes obviously lost his sight too. rose laughs right . soft music so, mom, i dont know what you do with, i bought em only because they look good. How do you cook these . You cook the beet like a potato. I thought this, this is the part you throw away, isnt it . Yeah. I got cabbage too and im thinking just put it on all one pot. violin music she took up lessons at the age of 79 to learn how to play the violin. She loves music and it was her therapy. She stopped for two years because the caregiving became so intense. That meant a lot for her. Thats all i could do. [richard] that sounded good though. If i should ever learn it back. So about six months ago, she started her lessons again and it has brought her renewed joy and energy. Unfortunately, spouses of those who have severe disease or afflictions may past first because they give so much. So i knew that i had to watch my mom even though she did not wanna be watched. violin music bravo. Sure. Cellphone Rings on the money, we have enough for how long . Another month or so . About a month to six weeks maybe. Okay. All right. The Care Home Costs 10,000 a month, which has depleted my moms savings. When i start adding it up it was like it goes fast. But we know its at least will take to get to refinance another five to six months, until that, so theres a gap of like four months in there. All the kids dont agree on all the solutions on finances. Well, yeah, thats true in any family. Yeah. In the back of my mind, i was worried if we could handle another major turn financially and emotionally. Deed. My dads disease was testing both his strength and ours. soft music i think im ready for this. Heck ya with e trade youre ready for anything. Marriage. Kids. College. Kids moving back in after college. Finally we can eat. You know you make me wanna. And then we looked around and said, wait a minute, this isnt even our stroller laughing you live with your parents, but you own a house in the metaverse . Mhm. Cool. I dont get it. Heres to getting financially ready for anything and heres to being single and ready to mingle. Whos ready to chacha . yeah, yeah at tmobile, your business will save over 1000 bucks. What are you going to do with it . I could use a new sign. With tmobile for business, save more than 1000 bucks versus verizon. And get the new Samsung Galaxy s23 plus free with no tradein required. Ugh covid19 . Im not waiting. If its covid, paxlovid. Authorized for emergency use, paxlovid is an oral treatment for people 12 and up who have mildtomoderate covid19 and have a highrisk factor for it becoming severe. My symptoms are mild now, but im not risking it. If its covid, paxlovid. If you have a risk factor, like being 50 , being overweight, asthma, or others, dont wait. If you get covid, theres something you can do. Taken within 5 days of symptoms, paxlovid reduced the risk of developing severe covid by 86 . Paxlovid may strengthen or weaken other medicines. Taking it with certain medicines may cause life threatening side effects or affect how paxlovid works. So, its critical to tell your doctor about all medicines you take, including herbal supplements, because lab tests or changing the dose of your medicines may be needed. Tell your doctor if you have any serious illnesses, allergies, liver or kidney disease, are pregnant or plan to become pregnant, are breastfeeding, or use Birth Control. Paxlovid may affect how your Birth Control works. Dont take paxlovid if youre allergic to nirmatrelvir, ritonavir, or any of its ingredients. Serious side effects can include allergic reactions, Liver Problems, and issues with hiv medicines. Other side effects include altered taste, diarrhea, high blood pressure, muscle aches, abdominal pain, nausea, and feeling unwell. If its covid, paxlovid. Ask your doctor or pharmacist if paxlovid, an innovation from pfizer, is right for you. Ask your doctor or pharmacist if paxlovid, soft music continues if these scans did show progression, would we be moving to Clinical Trials or wed look to see what are available and what looks good. Theres one that i theres nothing you can do to go into remission so youre throwing treatment at it. When it stops working you throw a different treatment at it. And theres no getting off treatment at any point. You go as long as your body can hold up. Helicopter Blades Whirring i spent 2005 in fallujah. I was so young at the time that i felt invincible and never thought much of the fact that fallujah had a large burn pit. There was black smoke all over the place all the time. And Water Bottles that they would bring in they would leave them on pallets in the sun so the bpa could leach into the water and we would drink that. Now we know such things can cause cancer. When we talk about hidden wounds, were often talking about Mental Health conditions or brain injuries. But maybe you leave with an exposure thats gonna cause an Autoimmune Disorder down the road. My original doctor strongly believed that it was an exposurerelated cancer. It was so aggressive and it was rare and i had no genetic markers, so it was weird that i had it. I actually submitted a claim asking them to consider that a servicerelated condition because matthew and shane would get survivors benefits after i die. But that claim got denied, the appeal got denied. The only other woman i was stationed with in iraq has the exact same type of rare and aggressive Breast Cancer so, to me, it makes sense. I feel like i know where it came from. Fire Crackling and your husbands doing okay . He had a little freakout recently. He is really worried about finances and logistics in the after. You know, because going from dual income to one income makes all that hard. But hes managing and doing well. Gotcha. I cant get him to go to counseling though. I was just gonna ask. Yeah, ive sent him once. [doctor] indistinct has excellent options. Ive sent him once and he came back with pamphlets for me instead of a Counseling Session for him. Yeah, but im working on it. soft music we got a Switch Upgrade at the same time as this for c1secure and c1. Web. I do it Project Management for the government. I wish there was a way for me to be paid what im being paid right now and just stay home. Im not ready financially to be able to take over for this. Everything was structured where basically kate was the primary breadwinner and i was secondary. We have Rocking Chairs because we always talked about growing old and being able to see our kids and our grandkids being able to play out in the front law after a knockout career. Im not ready. Im not ready to be a single parent. I dont know where to go from that point in time. We have chemo thursday, chemo thursday, and then im supposed to be in richmond to work on the book. Ill go straight to virginia cancer specialist to do my labs and then come home, hopefully, in time to pick up matthew. We need to make sure that this date in particular youve got some kind of rest cause this is a lot. But then, we move into february and stuff slows down. That looks like an empty calendar. Yeah, weve got are you okay . Are you gonna live . You have an empty calendar for february and its already in january. We have basketball. Oh. We have matthews basketball. Okay. Oh, yeah. I have to apply for matthews benefits. We gotta get that squared away. Weve gotta have the meeting with mom and dad about the wills and the powers of attorney. Mmhmm. And then, the next day is crazy. Its gonna be absolutely nuts. That night ive gotta go do the brain mri and i need somebody to drive me to that. Okay. So whoever. The brain mri is for . Thats new to me. Yeah. Oh, maybe i didnt tell you about it. Sorry, yeah, theyre doing a brain mri. Why . Just to check. I havent had one in two years. Im sorry, i forgot to tell you about that. Its okay. Not really a big deal. I definitely downplay things with shane because he gets extremely worried and extremely scared. There was a night where we thought the cancer had spread to my liver. We were scared. And i walked into my bedroom and i saw him on his knees, on the floor crying and it just it was like a punch to the stomach. Even as we struggled with new jobs and we struggled with each other, you couldnt have paid me to see that there was a problem. And you could never have paid me to ask for help. Come on. bird squawks youre gonna play at shawn and hadleys and then youre Gonna Go Play At Max and lexis. Does that sound fun . Kate moving to another state next door to her brother for help, me traveling across the country. Distance was not gonna stop us and we showed that. Hi. Hi. both laughing is matthew good to play for a couple hours . Of course. Thank you, lynn. Ill see you later today. Yeah. Well be here. Okay. All right. All right. Bye, hon. She doesnt want to show that shes in pain, so a lot of times we dont know. Everythings good, everythings fine. And shes always been the leader of our family. You just try to take the front from her. Just kinda give her that feeling that she doesnt have to ask for help. Were just there for her. Okay, happy birthday. Hi, happy birthday. Happy birthday, shane. Group Chattering oh, no. Oh, no. Too many coats. Look what you did, joe. Look at what shes all right, so its always me. No, were doing it. It was my coat that broke it. Happy birthday dear shane happy birthday to you [group] yay yay in charleston, we basically knew no one here. Family Chattering they didnt miss a beat. Every single body in this neighborhood ended up embracing us and accepting us. Children Chattering it is about kate, but its also about shane. He needs support too. We just have to remember thats going through his own journey with this as well. Children Chattering wait, what . Show me that. Children Chattering im watching you. Nobody wants to think about what your kids life will be like without you, so i think its really important for us to let her know were gonna be here. Were not going anywhere. Were Gonna Carry On and do what you would do. We need the village. Right now we have the village. Group Chattering one, two, three. I had fun. Youre too heavy. I want matthew to have everything. Two, three. Highfive. I want him to have a beautiful childhood, a stable childhood. Kate Speaks Indistinctly hey, jack. Good morning. Here. I wish i could be there for all of it. person speaks indistinctly it was like i was. I dont know when hes gonna lose his mom and i just, i hope its at an age where he understands that im not leaving him. I love him and i will always watch over him. Hes my world. Those boys are my world. And i would do anything for them. And so, to be letting them down like this is so hard. There they are. Theres max and matthew. Looked, but he wont wave. You know me. You know me. Max is smiling. I just hope he knows that i loved him with everything i had and i will do whatever it takes to stay with him as long as i can. psst psst ahhhh. With flonase, allergies dont have to be scary spraying flonase daily gives you longlasting, nondrowsy relief. psst psst flonase. All good. When it comes to your hair, ingredients matter. Thats why Herbal Essences is packed with naturally derived Plant Ingredients you love, and none of the stuff you dont. Our sulfatefree collections smell incredible. And leave your Hair Touchably soft and smooth. Herbal essences man its pretty simple. I kinda just want things the way i want them. woman i want a network that wont let me down. Even up here woman 2 with an unlimited plan thats truly right for me. woman 3 with verizons new myplan, i get exactly what i want. And only pay for what i need. man 2 now im in charge. Of my plan. vo introducing myplan from verizon, the first and only plan where you pick your perks. And save on every one. So you get exactly what you want and only pay for what you need. And it all starts at just 30. On the network you want. Because its your verizon. Tourists tourists that turn into scientists. Tourists taking photos that are analyzed by ai. So researchers can help life underwater flourish. So researchers can help life underwater flourish. Country Music i think mom wants a cookie. David . Mom does want a cookie very badly. [dave] dad wants. Im wont rise above the indistinct i wanna be ready not blind or afraid see how he looks really wet right now . But hes Gonna Dry Off and then hes gonna be fluffy, but hell get there. [amy] well, his precious little heart. Smaug. Come here, smaug. These are angus. And produce a lot of meat. And milk . Nope. No. See this girl down here . Thats a guernsey. She produces between two and four gallons a day. Here at the last state fair do people pass out on me . Maybe, but not us. Well be fine. Have fun. Bye. Vertigo whoo all the way up [luke] whoo Dave Screams Indistinctly all right, buddy. luke and dave scream let me look in here. Are there any sunglasses in there . Thanks. These are the big old ones. Car Engines Rumbling [dave] how exactly did a bomb make you have Posttraumatic Stressed . [luke] it wasnt really the bomb that made me have Posttraumatic Stress, buddy. It was all the guys i had to bury. That . I had a lot of soldiers die under my command, buddy. And it was so. And its hard knowing that its so hard on you that [luke] decisions you made maybe caused guys to die. [dave] it was so hard on you that it gave you Posttraumatic Stress . [luke] that and continued exposure to combat over and for many, many, many days on end. I had explored my trauma is that it . [luke] pretty intensely already. Yeah. Like, the events of trauma that ive had. You good . But what i hadnt explored was the moral injury that i continue to feel as an officer. That burden that i have to carry. Im 10 years removed from combat and theres not a week that goes by that im not back in that desert and a gun fight in my nightmares to my dreams. soft music we were in a sector of afghanistan in the summer of 2009 that was the most deadly place on earth to be. And we started to address, all right, we have a Cholera Outbreak in these villages. We were gonna out and inoculate a bunch of people. I was staying back cause my job as the Executor Officer is to run logistics. On their way back from this village, my Company Commanders vehicle was blown up. He was killed, his driver was killed. The battalion Physician Assistant was killed. The Battalion Senior Medical Ncoic was killed. And that just spurred a cycle of we went hunting for a week and a half. Helicopter Blades Whir my battalion was pretty much in continuous combat operations. We were fighting our way through, so. Time to grieve . No. cause you take the grief and you just buried it. And you replaced it with anger, you replaced it with rage. [richard] do you know that hes feeling this shame . I mean, not at the time. How do you deal with that . No, i wouldnt have ever identified that before now. dog yelps i think he was very careful about not sharing or burdening me, he would probably say, with his Combat Experience and the things that happened. I found a picture the other day of a knife and its inscribed. So i asked him like, what is this . Oh, well, i was gonna give that to my interpreter. Okay. Oh, okay, well why didnt you . Oh, well, he was killed. I had no idea, right . No idea that that had even happened. How can i help him if i dont know . On the flip side, thats not my job to carry that. Come on, dogs. This is a bad week for me just because the dates. Hi. Hi. How many people come back from deployment and theyre 19, 20 years old . Were kids. I was a couple years out of college. With perspective, i now look back at that and realize that compassion, empathy, love, grief, those were things that i needed to express and share with other soldiers, but those were things that i didnt. Luke Sings Indistinctly oh, how our hearts beat high with joy whenever we hear that glorious word. His sacred space is combat issues or the trauma that happened at deployment. My sacred space is having attended these Memorial Services back home and sit four rows behind the widow. I mean, that changed me. I had a little baby, you know . Luke 2. 0 who was at risk of not having a dad come home. I didnt wanna know how close i was to being the person who got the knock on the door. soft music Thunderous Blasts darling, i am really behind in correspondence. Ill make more of an effort, i promise. You know whenever i miss you, i get out your love letters to me and read them. I can hear your voice when i do and it makes me feel that you are right here next to me. Finally, my mind, i will forever have the images that are seared there. I will forever see graham happy and quiet. The last person to look at him alive. I will forever remember what seemed like an eternity to get his body armor off, the weight of his body, as i carried him to the top of the stryker where i gave him cpr till i was exhausted and unable to go and the feeling that i had of taking a pulse and not getting a heartbeat. He is light in my life, if only for a short time, but a light nonetheless. That is what all soldiers are. A light that shines and then goes out. Sorry. So im shining for a long time. Others, only for moments. I prayed that the light of my life would not be my own. I love you, darling. Luke. Sorry. Birds Chirping i remember getting that email and being like, i dont wanna know this. Why are you telling me this . Stop. Right . I would say where i am today, you know cant speak for tomorrow laughs where i am today is that i am okay knowing what i know and i dont need to know any more, nor do i regret knowing what i know. Waves Crashing as journalists, its in our muscle set to digest events quickly, to understand the emotions behind the story, and then get it out in a way that helps people. And i think as a caregiver, that has helped me to move down the road faster. Dive in, figure out what needs to be done. The flip side is sometimes we forget to stop and check our own physical and Mental Health. And i know its taken a toll. Hows it going . This is my dad. This your dad . Yeah. All right, fella, here we go. Paramedics Chattering are you here for a steven lui . We just need an ambulance to transport him to kaiser. [paramedic] what difference did you see in him that made you call . [richard] so his breath rate, basically. Okay. 36 breaths per minute. Its pretty consistent. Okay. [richard] having watched him for the last six years, this is distress. Heart rate 140, 150. Weve had scares like this so many times. And the injury to you doubles and triples and its a fact. [paramedic] worried about your breathing. [richard] each time, we have to be his voice. Whats up, buddy . Richard Speaks Indistinctly [paramedic] youre fighting hard. You got some fight in you. [kristen] everything you can do, you do. Our dad, that fighter, he hasnt given up. [richard] a long trip, kiddo. Six blocks. Yes. Voltaren. The joy of movement. At tmobile, your business will save over 1000 bucks. What are you going to do with it . I could use a new sign. With tmobile for business, save more than 1000 bucks versus verizon. And get the new Samsung Galaxy s23 plus free with no tradein required. Free with no vo adventure on a deeper level. The Subaru Forester wilderness. Dog tested. Dog approved. Love. Its what makes subaru, subaru. Ma ma ma ma [clears throut] for fast sore throat relief, try Vicks Vapocool drops with two times more menthol per drop , and the powerful rush of vicks vapors for fastacting relief you can feel. Vicks vapocool drops. Fast relief you can feel. Permission to dig in . Granted. Breyers carbsmart is so rich, so creamy, it tastes totally offlimits. But with only 4 grams of net carbs in every delicious serving, youve got the green light. Better starts with breyers. With the freestyle libre 2 system. Know your Glucose Level and where its headed. Without fingersticks. Manage your diabetes with more confidence. Now widely covered by medicare for patients managing diabetes with insulin. Visit freestylelibre. Us medicare to learn more. With a majority of my patience with sensitivity, i see irritated gums and weak enamel. Sensodyne Sensitivity Gum enamel relieves sensitivity, helps restore gum health, and rehardens enamel. Im a big advocate of recommending things that i know work. I was injured in a car crash. Im a big advocate of i had no idea how much my case was worth. I called the barnes firm. When a truck hit my son, i had so many questions about his case. I called the barnes firm. It was the best call i couldve made. Your case is often worth more than insuran call the barnes firm to find out i couldve made. What your case could be worth. We will help get you the best result possible. The barnes firm, Injury Attorneys call one eight hundred,est resul Eight Million the barnes firm, Injury Attorneys if you can hear me, baba, blink once. Call one eight hundred,est resul Eight Million if you recognize me, blink once. Oh, you still recognize me. Little old me, huh . One. Nice, youre still stretchy. Two. At some point, his brain is going to forget how to regulate his heartbeat and slowly hell forget how to even breathe. Its like watching somebody die in front of you and you cant do anything. The biggest trouble i have is does he wanna go . But hes still in there and hes still enjoying us. One more. Its more difficult. soft music very good sunday to you. Some of the stories that we are watching for you. As of this weekend, new covid cases increased by roughly 70 since a week ago while hospitalizations increased by over 35 . States like california and florida and those who are not. Covid isolation took a toll. Mom was left all alone. Now as we did for my father, we monitor my mom using cloud cameras. Its quite comforting to be with her remotely until something happens. I wish i could do more. You had to register . Yeah. All right. I dont always know how to feel about all this. Oh, you first. Oh, there he is youre awake. Hi. For more than a year, ive had to visit my dad standing outside a window and hes laying down inside completely unaware of what was happening all around him, including mom falling. This is the first time, in fact, weve been able to visit him inside in over a year. Whats up, fella . Hi, baba. Thank you, kathy. Okay. Look how alert is your father. Kristen Laughs hi, baba. Oh. He loves this more than anything, right . Still. Well, remember oh, hi. Are you scanning us . Yeah. I love you, baba. Look at your eyes. Yes. Oh, almost. [richard] i hope it didnt get stuck up there. Yeah. Look at this. Not a single wrinkle. I know. Unlike me. And eternal tan. [richard] and eternal tan, yeah. [kristen] look, its like lulling him to sleep. [richard] my dad just turned 88 and hes still trucking along. He made it through the pandemic not getting sick. I mean, the guys hanging on longer than we thought. Good to see you. Stephen Groans hes trying to talk to you. I understand, baba. Stephen Groans softly but its clear theres been a shift. [kristen] i miss you. I have to go. kristen sobs [richard] see you later, fella. Be nice to everybody. somber music kristen sobs [kristen] hits a little harder this time. [richard] its okay. kristen sobs Waves Crashing my dad passed away six months later. But i think he let go when he was truly ready. soft music and i got to be there to help him through all of it. soft music continues with a majority of my patience with sensitivity, i see irritated gums and weak enamel. Sensodyne Sensitivity Gum enamel relieves sensitivity, helps restore gum health, and rehardens enamel. Im a big advocate of recommending things that i know work. Wayfair has nice prices so you can have im nice things. Te of hah kelly clarkson, we have a kid. And harold. Wayfairs got just what you need. Performance fabrics, stains dont stand a chance. No chance woo dog friendly and wallet friendly. Pugproved. Get nice things with nice prices at wayfair. Wayfair, youve got just what i need when it comes to your hair, ingredients matter. Thats why Herbal Essences is packed with naturally derived Plant Ingredients you love, and none of the stuff you dont. Our sulfatefree collections smell incredible. And leave your Hair Touchably soft and smooth. Herbal essences voltaren. The joy of movement. I brought in ensure max protein with 30g of protein. Those who tried me felt more energy in just two weeks. Uh. Here ill take that. Everyone woo hoo ensure max protein with 30 grams of protein, one gram of sugar. Enter the nourishing Moments Giveaway for a chance to win 10,000. Permission to dig in . Granted. Breyers carbsmart is so rich, so creamy, it tastes totally offlimits. But with only 4 grams of net carbs in every delicious serving, youve got the green light. Better starts with breyers. Im your overly competitive brother. Check. Psych really . Dude, thats a foul and now youre ready to settle the score. And if you dont have the right Home Insurance coverage, well you could end up paying for all this yourself. So get allstate. With a majority of my patience with sensitivity, i see irritated gums and weak enamel. Sensodyne Sensitivity Gum enamel relieves sensitivity, helps restore gum health, and rehardens enamel. Im a big advocate of recommending things that i know work. How are you doing today . Great. Big advocate of yeah, its right back here. [ultrasound tech] so basically with this were checking the valves inside the heart to make sure its still squeezing properly. [kate] and all the chemo hasnt done something crazy to it . Right. Yeah, you wanna make sure theres no, you know, extensive damage to the heart wall. [kate] were still doing workups to see if i get accepted into the trial. Gotcha. [kate] im really hopeful about it though. The drug is pretty promising. Oh, thats really good. [kate] better than just throwing chemo at the problem. My fifth line of treatment just failed a couple of months ago and i saw progression in my liver and in my skeletal system. When it gets into your soft organs youre worried about going into some kind of organ failure. You know, you wouldnt think its great to get diagnosed with cancer when youre younger, but, like, my livers hung in there, my heart has hung in there, so. How old were you when you were first diagnosed . 38. Oh, wow, i mean, its amazing that youre, you know, kind of, i mean, youre attitude and everything. Its just like its well, ive got a little boy, so i think if it were just me, i dont think i would do as much treatment as ive done. Mmhmm. [kate] but i wanna be around for him. Birds Chirping soft music oh, good. Did you see byron . Yeah. [kate] nice job. You get a chore sticker. [shane] poom, poom, poom, poom, poom, poom, poom, poom ive been working from home for well over a year and almost three months now. laughs theres one option. Covid has helped us be able to spend more time together that we had actually not really had even right after matthew was born. Thank you. We had 2020 be our year of kind of putting our family bond above everything else. Good morning, good morning how are you this morning good morning, good morning to you [kate] 2020 was a hard year. I went through three different treatments that didnt work out so well. There was a period of time where i was on a drug that was making me very sick and it started causing lung problems. I need your help. I couldnt walk from my Kitchen Table to my microwave without getting short of breath. It was a really scary time and i didnt know, i didnt know if i was gonna come out of that. I felt for the first time that things were a little bit out of control. I was losing the battle. Oh, you already got that. shane laughs and i had to really on shane a lot more. Im so aware of my surroundings. Daddy already helped me out with something and i didnt even see it. Classic. Classic. Youre classic. When i was in bed sick for over a month, he ran the show and he was able to step up and realize that even if he had to work full time, parent full time, handle the running of the house, without any help, he was actually able to do it. Were leaving in 11 minutes. All right. Im a control freak. I like to do things. And for a long time, you know, i felt worried that he was gonna be able to do everything as i wouldve done it. And i dont have that fear anymore. Love you. Love you too. Birds Chirping [shane] so the last time you had a liver biopsy it was really rough on you. Do i need to help you get to that appointment . I should be okay to just go get labs drawn. Maybe we not try and be marine on this one and lets just do you wanna be off work another day . Who doesnt wanna be off work . I have been paralyzed throughout this journey before and felt like i couldnt act, i couldnt do anything, i couldnt think of myself at all. 2019 was a scarcity mentality. It was what am i losing, when am i losing it, and being so anxious and worried that it was all consuming. 2021 shane understands that i cant worry myself into a place where i cant function. Fun times. It will be. [shane] basically, we just enjoy shenandoah to the fullest extent. Mmhmm. [shane] prior to the next treatment sprint. Yup. Why dont you laughs . But, luckily i so two years ago, i was hopeful that the family had maybe six or 10 years. Yes, yeah, good girl. You are a good girl. Now i assume the clock is a lot shorter. You listen. I really wanna take advantage of this summer. I wanna travel. Thank you. [kate] i feel good right now. I want us to treat this summer like it might be our last one. Children Chattering matthew is almost seven. Hes asking more questions. Children Chattering he said to me recently, he put his hands on the table, like a little adult and he said, im gonna try to say this without crying but, mom, when you die im gonna cry so, so hard. It will be awful. One, two . Yeah, im gonna take him with me. Thats all i wanted to wish for. My mom having no cancer and not being tired. soft music sorry, buddy. Did you have a hard day . What was it a hard day for . You feeling tired . You see where your mask is . Are you just feeling sad . Yes, they have two years. [kate] i mean, he knows. He knows that somethings not good. One blessing about a longterm Terminal Illness is that you get to wrap your head around it and your family gets to do the same thing. I mean, whats normal in our family is that mom is dying and i wanna do it with grace and i wanna do it, like, thoughtful about the feelings of the people around me. Making sure that im calm about whats happening so i can help everybody around me be calm too. soft music jersey. Thanks. I know that when that time period comes im gonna break. Im gonna break hard. Thats the time for me and matthew to walk through, walk through those gates until were able to turn the page to open the next chapter. soft music but im gonna let that come when it comes rather than break now and diminish the time period that we have left. Id rather fall deeper in love because you only get one of these in a lifetime. soft music psst psst ahhhh. With flonase, allergies dont have to be scary. Spray Flonase Sensimist daily for nondrowsy, long lasting relief in a scentfree, gentle mist. psst psst flonase. All good. Suffering from sinus congestion, especially at night . psst psst try Vicks Sinex For Instant Relief that lasts up to 12 hours. Vicks sinex targets congestion at the source, relieving nasal congestion, and sinus pressure by reducing swelling in the sinuses. Try vicks sinex. Make your dream car. A reality. Mercedesbenz certified preowned vehicles are rigorously inspected to live up to the highest of expectations. Tourists tourists that turn into scientists. Tourists photographing thousands of miles of remote coral reefs. That can be analyzed by ai in real time. So researchers can identify which areas are at risk. And help life underwater flourish. With a majority of my patience with sensitivity, i see irritated gums and weak enamel. Sensodyne Sensitivity Gum enamel relieves sensitivity, helps restore gum health, and rehardens enamel. Im a big advocate of recommending things that i know work. Up at 2 00am again . Tonight, Try Pure Zzzs all night. Im a big advocate of unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. And longer. Zzzquil pure zzzs all night. Fall asleep. Stay asleep. Every day, businesses everywhere are asking. Is it possible . With comcast business. It is. Is it possible to help keep our Online Platform safe from cyberthreats . So we can better protect our Customer Data . Absolutely. Can we provide health care virtually anywhere . We can help with that. Is it possible to use predictive monitoring to address Operations Issues . We can help with that, too. With global secure networking from comcast business. Its not just possible. Its happening. I moved up here with my family in 2016 ito kind of find somee. Peace after being. A army ranger for 11 years. Wears on you a little bit and i found that in the outdoors. Peer relationships, supporting each other, getting in the outdoors, thats how you heal. We take veterans into the back country. A lot of these folks that come out they arent seeking actively to get treatment for physical or social or psychological ailments. And literally, that Peer Relationship is the only therapy or treatment that theyre taking at the time. So i think the second drug crisis that we have in america is the overprescribing of psychotropic drugs. What were finding is what is solving our problems is putting 35 pounds on your back and going and walking through the mountain for a couple days. Were trying to be on the ground level of developing the evidence that proves the efficacy of these treatment modalities. So cool. Glad youre here. group laugh this is a common human experience. This is not something that we should hide, that we should be afraid of, that we should not address. soft music so this is my pc from afghanistan. I will not ever get rid of it cause it fits me perfect. This is a gift from my interpreter, barack. Of course, i have an afghan flag in here. It got banged up. I look back on a lot of the losses that we suffered. I still honor and think about those men every day. But the shame that i used to carry with that, a lot of its gone. Sharing your pain is scary cause its vulnerable. Courage is being okay with that vulnerability. soft music happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear, dad, yay happy birthday to you dont blow it yet, i gotta take a picture. Hon, hon, hon, i gotta get the moment. I gotta get the moment. Okay, all right, go. What did you wish for . What did you wish for . Got right in my face. Did you get smoked . Yes. Oh, im sorry. What did you wish for . Here. What did i wish for . Nothing. A grounded and peaceful year. Okay. Im proud of the way that we have been able to communicate with them about this and that weve been so intentional about it. Like, if were all feeling stressed out and we need a little break to think oh, you put shorts. We count to 10 and we think it through. When i was a kid, i memorized that whole book. You memorized, dreams . Mmhmm. And then, it was like okay. Lets talk about this and well talk about this and well talk about this. A goal is just to slow down a bit to allow your system to relax. Breathe in, taking air deep into your belly. Think the number one. Now exhale all of the air and think the word relax. This is the perspective of the time and knowing yourself more. I am in a place where you realize that the hurt goes away the more you look at it. Things hurt more when you keep em in a box and you never deal with it. You gonna make spg block appointment . I need to. Okay. You got a headache right now . Yeah. Aww. You want me to put some oil you . Yeah, put some oil on. Poor, baby. Having to confront that and get to a place where you can talk about that is really rewarding. Everybody in the bed. My bed wasnt look, you got blankies all over the place. What is going on here . I dont know why. I woke up last night the only thing that kept me from taking my life [child] everybody else in this world indistinct i pray. Amen. The reason that i can carry on is not because of duty, honor or country. Its because of family, community, and love. Amen. indistinct soft music voltaren. The joy of movement. Somedays, i cover up because of my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. Now i feel free to bare my skin, thanks to skyrizi. uplifting music nothing is everything im celebrating my clearer skin. My way. With skyrizi, 3 out of 4 people achieved 90 clearer skin at 4 months. In another study, most people had 90 clearer skin, even at 5 years. And skyrizi is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. Serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. Thanks to clearer skin with skyrizi this is my moment. Theres nothing on my skin and that means everything nothing is everything nows the time. Ask your doctor about skyrizi, the 1 dermatologistprescribed biologic in psoriasis. Learn how abbvie could help you save. vo this is sadie. Shes on verizon, and she has the new myplan where she gets exactly what she wants and only pays for what she needs. She picks only the perks she wants and saves on every one all with an incredible new iphone. Get iphone 14 pro on us when you switch. Its your verizon. Okay everyone, our mission is complete balanced nutrition. Together we provide nutrients to support immune, muscle, bone, and heart health. Everyone woo hoo ensure with 25 vitamins and minerals. Enter the 10,000 nourishing Moments Giveaway. Limu emu doug what do we always say, son . Liberty mutual customizes your car insurance. So you only pay for what you need. Thats my boy. Now you get out there, and you make us proud, huh . Bye, uncle limu. Stay off the freeways only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. With a majority of my patience with sensitivity, i see irritated gums and weak enamel. Sensodyne Sensitivity Gum enamel relieves sensitivity, helps restore gum health, and rehardens enamel. Im a big advocate of recommending things that i know work. I Group Chattering f [richard] after my dad passed, its not like we thought everything was gonna be magically done, but we didnt expect mom to decline so fast. Its tough and im learning that its okay to not feel okay and that i have to keep on asking, while i care for her. So well just have leftovers, mom. Am i okay . What do you think of the bars . Theyre at the same height as this too. [kristen] yeah, all the aunties were impressed by how well she maneuvered that. [richard] where do you wanna sit to eat, mom . Wanna sit at the end here . Yeah, so mom almost escaped to the garage. Is that correct . No, i only left her alone, like you make a run for it . I only left her alone five minutes today. The front window. Right now, we are literally on a 24 7 schedule. She had two ears of corn. So obviously, she got up and came back. And the walker was right where it was. You had two ears of corn . I didnt eat two. She caught at the first half. My oldest brothers are local, so they both come here on shifts. So if theres not a caregiver or when my brothers here, richard and i are monitoring her on the nest. Mom, its working. Well, i dont need she doesnt have ocd or anything. Its been really, really hard with our mom for me. Thats what i thought. And it happened so fast. My parents are perfect, like, in my head, you know . Theres parts of me that just i dont wanna let go. soft music [richard] they were never loveydovey. They were not like, you know, sneaking kisses in the hallway or anything like that. Ill see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. [richard] but to see the way she took care of him. Tomorrow. After all the years i watched the two of them, its almost as though my mom learned how to fall in love with him again. This is your special day. happy birthday birthday to you happy birthday, dear baba i dont think she wouldve found that out without going through this journey, which has been so difficult, and which she has given so much of herself. I know that he would have loved to be able to be here now to care for her. As difficult as everything has been and what weve had to go through, i think his soul will say, this was great for the family. We shared the exhaustion, we shared the joy, we shared the pain, and we shared the rewards together. It was tough, but we all got better somehow. soft music you like that . Whoowee. Feels good, huh . nurses chattering piano music with nearly 6 million of ou 38 million members currently have previously served in the military, were on a mission to support veterans and military families who defend our freedom at home and abroad. Thats why weve created free resources, tools, and Community Programs to help you meet the unique challenges you face every day. To learn more this is aarp dot org slash veterans. Im craig melvin. And im natalie morales. This and this is dateline. Three people come to me wearing suits and one of them