Instagram Bans Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Over Vaccine Misinformation
you think?
Dee Bromilow, Blimp Steward
BJ Laroche, Bowling Pin Setter
“Everyone knows Instagram is the last place you should be getting your Gates cabal information from.”
Trevor Pine, Candy Peddler
POLITICO
Iranian news agency duped by Onion
By KEVIN CIRILLI
No joke. Iran’s semi-official government news agency on Friday picked up a bogus poll story by The Onion that said a majority of rural white Americans would rather go to a baseball game with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than President Barack Obama. “Gallup Poll: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama” reads the article by Iran’s Fars news agency. “According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than US President Barack Obama,” it reads, adding that 77 percent of rural white voters said they “would much rather go to a baseball game or have a beer with Ahmadinejad, a man who has repeatedly denied the Holocaust and has had numerous political prisoners executed, than spend time with Obama.”
Yellow Lobster Caught Off Coast Of Maine
you think?
Larry Chavarria, T-Shirt Folder
Rory Wooden, Stenographer’s Assistant
“That poor lobster should be in the ocean dying from climate change.”
Margaret Battaglia, Superfund Developer
If so, you have one thing in common with Elon Musk.
If you’ve got
175 billion more…I’m in the market for a new friend.
Back to the Bee, on Saturday, a
different comedy site published an article referencing Tesla’s founder.
Setting an early morning alarm gives CEOs plenty of time to laugh while thinking about how they could quit their jobs right now and still be financially set for multiple lifetimes.
Smash Hand with Hammer to See if They Can Feel: The quest for success is never ending, but taking little moments like this can help leaders remember what they are chasing.
Botched Autopsy Brings Murder Victim Back To Life
SANTA MARIA, CA Leaving local community members shocked and heartbroken, a botched autopsy performed at Marian Regional Medical Center Wednesday had reportedly brought a murder victim back to life. “I realized his heart had started beating, and I knew I had made a terrible mistake,” said pathologist Dr. Kenneth Lepp, who expressed deep remorse as he described how the routine autopsy had gone completely off the rails. “I failed, and I acknowledge that it’s my fault this person is alive. I’m so sorry. I promise I did everything I could to stop it. I tried to reduce his oxygen levels, drain his blood, cut off his head but nothing worked. I accept the fact this will probably cost me my license. And, of course, eventually I’ll have to face the patient’s family. I know they’re furious.” At press time, Dr. Lepp had added that although he wasn’t exactly sure how it happened, he vowed he would do everything in his power to