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SAUSAGE LIFE 178

READER: Ahoy there Grumpy! I hope the election result has put you in a better mood…
MYSELF: Indeed it has. Its the kind of result that makes you want to roll in dung, lie face down on a tea towel and flog it on Ebay as the Turin Shroud. How about you?
READER: Well actually Mrs Reader and I are off to Spain for a fortnight just as soon as we’ve got our vaccination passports, visas and internationally recognised leisure permits, so I was wondering if you could recommend a good holiday read? I’m a devil for my books I am. ....

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SAUSAGE LIFE 165

The Tattooed Lady with the following comments added by our chief reader:
1).
Dan Fortune, the corrupt detective inspector, is not a believable character, particularly on page 43, where we are asked to picture him alighting from his personal helicopter on top of the Guggenheim Museum in New York with Lord Lucan, yet only two paragraphs later he is in Kabul hocking a stolen Toulouse Lautrec painting in order to buy opium.
2).
Dame Horsedrone-Milquefloat, the “lady” of the title, is clearly established as a member of the upper aristocracy, yet iat the beginning of chapter 3 we are asked to picture her playing darts. The reader’s suspension of disbelief is further tested when she suggests to the chief murder suspect ....

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