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greg: thank you! all right! yeah! let s start! wow. that was amazing. [laughter] i wish i smoked. it s friday, so you know what that means. let s welcome tonight s guests. you may recognize him from his feature in average white guy magazine, cohost of fox & friends first, todd piro. [applause] as former miss citrus, she comes freshly squeezed. host of the morgan ortagus show on sirius xm, morgan ortagus! [applause] it s been 12 years since she tested positive for food. new york times best-selling author and fox news contributor, kat timpf! [applause] and the great barrier reef is his loofah. new york times best-selling author, comedian, world champion, tyrus! [applause] before we get to some news stories, let s do this. announcer: greg s leftovers! greg: it s leftovers, where i read the jokes we didn t use this week. as always, it s my first time reading them, so if they suck, we will put joe mackey in a meat grinder and turn them into hot dogs. ....
Improperly obtained. it s like the media equivalent of stolen valor. as a member of the media and married to a veteran, this must be doubly offensive. kat: exactly. greg: [laughs] kat: this makes so little sense. i actually was worried that i was stupid, even though we all know that s not true, because greg: i couldn t understand it! kat: u.n. an emmy, for 13 years this went on and not a single one of these people was like, wait, but it wasn t invited to the ceremony. somebody just handed me an emmy with my name on it, congrats, i d start laughing. or it shows up your house. and we are all on tv. if you win and a word, what s the first thing you re going to do? a google yourself and see what other people are saying about it! there all insufferable. at least i can admit it. but not a single one of these people googled themselves to see the list. not a single one of them was ....