Mr. Zalinkski, im a negro woman, im not going to entertain the impossible. And i am a polish jew, standing next to a fence that will be traveling to the stars hidden fences, based on a true story. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight stephen welcomes billy joel and Josh Holloway, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen hey thank you so much thank you, sir hey, jon good to see ya. Welcome to the late show. applause im so glad to be here. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Im so excited. Tonight weve got the great billy joel here tonight. cheers and applause weve got a special dome here tonight for billy joel, the piano man. cheers and applause weve got a special dome here look at that. Isnt that beautiful . Anybody watch the Golden Globes last night . cheers and applause i didnt because it wasnt on cbs and i was testing all of you
Sand flea, which can leap to the top of a twostory building in the rare event you somehow escape wild cat. Big dog, made to assist humans in the vital task of hurling cinder blocks. Pet man which no doubt one day will make a pet out of man. And, of course, cheetah, a bladelegged cyber beast with a top speed of over 28 Miles Per Hour which is faster than usain bolt. So there goes my plan to flee these robots on boltback. laughter so, folks, tonight folks, tonight i am proud to say im announcing the formation of a Rebel Alliance to defend humanity. After all, these things are just like imperial walkers. We already know how to defeat those. laughter thats why i have started an ewok breeding program. audience reacts uhhuh, uhhuh. laughter yes. My first goal s to get this ewok to stop pooping in my house. Yes, youre going to learn to catch cinder blocks. Throw me a cinder block throw me a cinder block but, of course, some technology is our friend. Like the kind used by the n. S. A. Which ha
Jon thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. South africans have to go back to their lives george back to work and see if they can continue to carry on stephen tonight, how big is the n. S. A. Surveillance program . And am i being recorded right now . laughter then, will i receive a nobel prize or did i eat those jackerr jacks for nothing . laughter and my guest is the founder of buzzfeed. Ill talk to him for one minute before losing interest and clicking on another guest. laughter a new study claims a. D. D. Is overdiagnosed or something, i got bored and didnt read the article. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Hello audience chanting stephen hello welcome to the report, everybody. Good to have you with us. Merry christmas, everybody cheers and applause nation, you know if you watch this show ive always been a huge fan of the google. laughter its the yahoo of thin
Program . And am i being recorded right now . laughter then, will i receive a nobel prize or did i eat those jackerr jacks for nothing . laughter and my guest is the founder of buzzfeed. Ill talk to him for one minute before losing interest and clicking on another guest. laughter a new study claims a. D. D. Is overdiagnosed or something, i got bored and didnt read the article. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Hello audience chanting stephen hello welcome to the report, everybody. Good to have you with us. Merry christmas, everybody cheers and applause nation, you know if you watch this show ive always been a huge fan of the google. laughter its the yahoo of things that work. laughter but over the weekend, folks, google bought themselves a disturbing early christmas present. Googles latest purchase is raising some eyebrows. The company has bought boston dynamics, an Engineering Company that designs robo
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