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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

[ laughter ] President Trump this morning promoted the opening of his resort maralago for the season, tweeting i will be there in two weeks, the southern white house. Which is weird because i thought this was the southern white house. [ laughter ] following numerous reports about his inability to build support from africanamerican voters, mayor Pete Buttigieg said in a new interview that he has a lot more work to do to earn the trust of the black Community Unfortunately his very next words were my name is pete and im here to say [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause during last nights House Committee meeting on impeachment, republican Louie Gohmert became the first person to publicly name the ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Means you ate three pounds of turkey, stuffing and mashed potato you drank a bottle of wine, smoked pot with your cousins, and youre still [ laughter ] youre still awake [ laughter ] man, whatever your grandpa said about trump must have really freaked you out. [ laughter ] according to polls, 63 of americans plan to drink on thanksgiving, just as soon as the adults turn their backs. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause president yeah [ cheers and applause President Trump issued a thanksgiving proclamation yesterday, and called for the country to rise above decisiveness and celebrate united together as one people. Added trump, even the democrats, nevertrumpers, deepstaters, nfl players, fake news media, women, latinos, muslims, late night hosts and eric [ cheers and applause all of us celebrating as one family the wife of childrens tv icon mr. Rogers revealed in a new interview that he would regularly fart in front of her to make he ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Democratic primary is an option under uber pool. [ laughter ] amid speculation that he could become a scapegoat, Rudy Giuliani said in a new interview that he is confident President Trump will remain loyal to him in the impeachment inquiry. Responded trump, you can count on it, randy. [ laughter ] the Trump Administration has proposed a new measure that could nearly double the cost of applying for american citizenship. Man, just be glad people still want to come here. I mean, this is like blockbuster raising its rental fees now. [ laughter ] according [ cheers and applause according to new data, senator Bernie Sanders poll numbers in iowa and New Hampshire have improved since he suffered a heart attack las ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

[ light laughter ] everything he touches turns into second place ill bet when he picks up a diet coke, it turns into a diet pepsi. [ laughter ] thats right the republican governor of kentucky lost his reelection bid to a democrat yesterday. Which is a big deal, because governor is kentuckys Second Highest Office [ laughter ] senator Lindsey Graham said today that president trumps policy toward ukraine was incoherent and called the administration, quote, incapable of forming a quid pro quo. Ah yes, the old he couldnt have committed these crimes, hes too stupid defense [ laughter ] Lindsey Graham would make the worlds cattiest defense lawyer. I know, because he is never invited anywhere. [ laughter ] shared on facebook may create a, numberfa quote, titanicsized disaster in the 2020 election. Except this time, the be ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

And you may think trump isnt an expert on vaping but remember, he sucks and he blows. [ laughter ] President Trump attended a Football Game at the university of alabama over the weekend where he was immediately placed into the concussion protocol [ laughter ] thats right President Trump attended a Football Game and received loud cheers when he was shown on the jumbotron, or to put in it sports terms, trump is now 1 and 2 on the season. [ laughter ] according to a new book, Queen Elizabeths stylist uses gin to clean her jewelry while Boris Johnson uses to it clean his entire body. [ laughter ] according to the washington post,
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