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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170516

Magic mike. I wish trump were my father. Froze my eggs in hope he would one day father my children. Smart jill. Just like smart to fire comey and let comey find out by watching tv. Im learning the following people have been fired. Congratulations sean spicer, ruth bader ginsburg. John mccain. Nikki haley. Chuck schumer. The white house guard dog that ate his big mack and jill news lady, me news good are you trumps wife . If youre a woman under 35, the answer might surprise you. Welcome to the late show with Stephen Colbert welcome Danny Mcbride, Jane Krakowski and musical guest metallica, featuring jon batiste and stay human. Now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen thank you. Thank you so much please have a seat. Welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Well, ladies and gentlemen, ive got good news and bad news. The bad news the Washington Post reports that trump revealed

Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170516

Magic mike. I wish trump were my father. Froze my eggs in hope he would one day father my children. Smart jill. Just like smart to fire comey and let comey find out by watching tv. Im learning the following people have been fired. Congratulations sean spicer, ruth bader ginsburg. John mccain. Nikki haley. Chuck schumer. The white house guard dog that ate his big mack and jill news lady, me news good are you trumps wife . If youre a woman under 35, the answer might surprise you. Welcome to the late show with Stephen Colbert welcome Danny Mcbride, Jane Krakowski and musical guest metallica, featuring jon batiste and stay human. Now live on tape fromhe t ed sullivan theater iw city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause fast. applause heres the deal. When kislyak and lavrov is that his name in the Oval Office Last week, trump apparently went off script and began describing details about an Islamic State terrorist threat. That is unbelievable. Trump has a scri

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170606

Musical guest thundercat featuring Michael Mcdonald and Kenny Loggins. And the legendary roots crew. Questlove 685, samoa. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome. Oh, so happy to be back. I know, i know, i know. I know. [ cheers ] im not sure. Questlove, im not sure about it, but im growing it out. [ cheers ] i know i dont know. Well get into it. [ light laughter ] i want to grow a mustache, but this is a baby step. Steve yeah, ill talk about it later. Jimmy yeah, well talk about it later. Im a little embarrassed by it. First, lets get to some jokes. Welcome, thank you very much for being here. Appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] guys, were about two weeks away from the start of summer [ cheers and applause ] yes. Two weeks away. And thanks to trumps climate plan, we may never see the end of it. [ applause ] nothing but summer. Thats right. Last week, President Trump announced the United States will withdraw from the paris climate agreement. Tr

Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170606

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Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170620

Say hello to faster downloads with internet speeds up to 250 megabits per second. Get fast internet and add phone and tv now for only 24. 90 more per month. Our lowest price ever on this offer. But only for a limited time. Call today. Comcast business. Built for business. Comcast business. [hissing] uh i [sound of wrench] [intricate guitar riff] [engine starts] [guitar continues] man hmm. Hat do you think . stranger good mornin store p. A. attention shoppers, theres a lost couple in the mens department. vo theres a great big unkhaki world out there. Explore it in a subaru crosstrek. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. The flyers hold a second overall pick. Two players many expect to go one, two or two one. Ron hextall has seen the draft but hes not relying on them. There is a consensus top two. There has been a lot of consensus top whatever, and you look at say oh my quad. You have to be careful with consensus. Draft on friday and thursday, going to be a fun week. Thank you, ducis

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