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COM The Daily Show September 14, 2017

Scandal all because a politician may have watched porn. Come on, people. No big deal. Everyone watches porn. All right . Its part of being a norm human being which is exactly why we know ted cruz didnt do it. laughter he didnt do it. Hes pretending to like porn as a way to blend in with the rest of the human species. Nice try, ted nice try cheers and applause i know what this is yeah. Trying to seem relatable as your first move into the 2020 president ial run. Were not buying it, ted cruz. You dont watch porn. We know you got hacked. We know it, ted. We know. Speaking of hacks, lets get to the big story tonight. Youve probably been hearing on the news the name equifax a lot lately. I know it sounds like a prescription drug, you know, the kinds with those commercials where a lady cant run in a meadow because she poops too much. You know those commercials. But its not. laughter equifax is actually one of the three big agencies that keep track of peoples credit information. So basically, ....

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COM The Daily Show September 19, 2017

Say thank you so much. I will be told that i will be with you until 2022 or until i am impeached. So thank you so much for having me, support meg and supporting the show. I appreciate you. cheers and applause lets start tonights show in detroit where kid rock who has been teeing a 2018 senate run gave a first stump speech recently. Will you please welcome the next senator of the great state of michigan, kid mother bleep rock cheers and applause you call me racist because im not p. C. As if you have to remind me black lives matter. Nazis and bigots and ban the kkk . I say, bleep all you racists, stay the hell away if kid rock for senate has got some folks in disarray, wait till they hear kid rock president of the u. S. A. trevor wow laughter im not going to lie, i think id like to sea a kid rock presidency. The state of the union is bow debang debang at the bang laughter this is how crazy trump mad politics. I watched that and that didnt seem like the wildest speech ive ever seen. cheer ....

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COM The Daily Show September 20, 2017

Cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in. Im trevor noah thank you so much, everybody. You guys are amazing cheers and applause our guest tonight gucci mane is going to be joining us, everybody, chatting about his new book. cheers and applause but first, congratulations to all the winners at last nights emmy awards especially the underdogs. Diversity reigns as women and people of color taking home some of the biggest prizes on televisions biggest night. Atlantas Donald Glover became the first africanamerican to win a an emmy for comedy directing. Sterling brown became the first black actor to win an emmy in a drama series. Lena wade the first black woman to receive the award. Trevor fantastic, but how are we still having first black anythings in 2017. Do you know how many emmy ceremonies there have been . 69 . Nice. laughter now im not complaining because last nights emmys were really ama ....

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COM The Daily Show September 21, 2017

Trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much thank you, everybody im trevor noah. My guest tonight star of the lego ninjago movie, olivia munn is joining us, everybody cheers and applause but lets get right to it because, if you havent heard, one of the trump sons is going solo. Donald trump, jr. Is giving up secret service protection. Now, the president s eldest son elected to forgo this service. Trump, jr. Lives in new york city, works at the trump organization, avid camper and hunter and says he wants more privacy than he can get with a bunch of agents following him. Trevor i love as donald, jr. Is giving up security, theyre reporting exactly where he will be and when. laughter donald trump, jr. Will no longer be protected. He wont be protected when he was at work in trump tower, new york city or home on sutton place. And this is his phone number and dont forget he will be completely unguarded while camping in the berkshires when donald trump, jr. Heard this i bet he was, like ....

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COM The Daily Show October 10, 2017

Trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in im trevor noah thank you, everybody my guest tonight is out with a new book, katy tur is going to join us, everybody cheers and applause first, straight into the news of the day, former congressman Anthony Weiner was sentenced to nearly two years in prison for sexting with a minor. I wonder if when they arrested them the cops said, we can do this the easy way or the hard way and he was, like, the hard way, please. laughter meanwhile, Jared Kushner admitted he was using a private email account to communicate with other white house officials. Ahhh private email . laughter kushner says what he did is nothing like what Hillary Clinton did and hell explain the whole thing in his new book what took place. laughter but lets move on to the story thats been blowing ....

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