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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140901

Really use some good news right about now. Texas governor rick perry plans to be in New Hampshire friday on the way to a possible run for president in 2016. Jon hallelujah. And the lord did tell him to run and he does. That means he wont be in austin, texas, for his arraignment on untilny charges. Jon what . No you cant just give this to me and then just take it away. What kind of cruel god are you . It wasnt the typical booking at the Travis County courthouse tuesday night, and it wasnt the typical mugshot, a smirking sitting governor of texas. Jon i got to tell you, thats an olan mills quality mugshot, chiseled jaw, sunkissed skin, those guys that say, yeah, i might have [bleeped] up a little bit. Its all good. Look, this. Im guessing that old rick perry, he wasnt arraigned on a charge of being criminally handsome. A grand jury in texas indicted perry late friday night on two ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140829

I dont know. [laughter] my point is this, we could really use some good news right about now. Texas governor rick perry plans to be in New Hampshire friday on the way to a possible run for president in 2016. Jon hallelujah. And the lord did tell him to run and he does. That means he wont be in austin, texas, for his arraignment on untilny charges. Jon what . No you cant just give this to me and then just take it away. What kind of cruel god are you . It wasnt the typical booking at the Travis County courthouse tuesday night, and it wasnt the typical mugshot, a smirking sitting governor of texas. Jon i got to tell you, thats an olan mills quality mugshot, chiseled jaw, sunkissed skin, those guys that say, yeah, i might have [bleeped] up a little bit. Its all good. Look, this. Im guessing that old rick perry, he wasnt arraigned on a charge of being criminally handsome. A grand ju ....

New York , United States , Travis County , District Of Columbia , City Of , United Kingdom , David Hasselhoff , Jason Jones , Ruth Marcus , John Oliver , Shaquille Oneal , Al Qaeda , Rick Perry , Jon Stewart , Good News , New Hampshire , Travis County District , County District , Public Integrity , Cancer Research , Air Force , Love Child , David Hasselhoffs , Look Like , New York Times , York Times ,

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140829

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest tonight, very, very funny comedian todd glass is going to be joining us, but first, the news has been very grim lately. You have your isis rampaging through the middle east. You have your terrible situation in missouri there. On top of that we found out hello kitty not even a cat. Its not a cat. Hello kitty is apparently just a third grader who lives in london and [bleeped] in a sandy box or i dont know. [laughter] my point is this, we could really use some good news right about now. Texas governor rick perry plans to be in New Hampshire friday on the way to a possible run for president in 2016. Jon hallelujah. And the lord did tell him to run and he does. That means he wont be in austin, texas, for his arraignment on untilny char ....

New York , United States , Travis County , District Of Columbia , City Of , United Kingdom , Ruth Marcus , John Oliver , Shaquille Oneal , Al Qaeda , Jon Stewart , David Hasselhoff , Jason Jones , Rick Perry , Comedy Central , Todd Glass , Hello Kitty , Good News , New Hampshire , Travis County District , County District , Public Integrity , Cancer Research , Air Force , Love Child , David Hasselhoffs ,

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140829

Jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest tonight, very, very funny comedian todd glass is going to be joining us, but first, the news has been very grim lately. You have your isis rampaging through the middle east. You have your terrible situation in missouri there. On top of that we found out hello kitty not even a cat. Its not a cat. Hello kitty is apparently just a third grader who lives in london and [bleeped] in a sandy box or i dont know. [laughter] my point is this, we could really use some good news right about now. Texas governor rick perry plans to be in New Hampshire friday on the way to a possible run for president in 2016. Jon hallelujah. And the lord did tell him to run and he does. That means he wont be in austin, texas, for his arraignment on untilny charges. Jon what . No you cant just give this to me and then just take it away. What kind of cruel god are you . It wasnt the typical booking at ....

New York , United States , Travis County , District Of Columbia , City Of , United Kingdom , David Hasselhoff , Jason Jones , Ruth Marcus , John Oliver , Shaquille Oneal , Al Qaeda , Rick Perry , Jon Stewart , Todd Glass , Hello Kitty , Good News , New Hampshire , Travis County District , County District , Public Integrity , Cancer Research , Air Force , Love Child , David Hasselhoffs , Look Like ,

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140830

Through the middle east. You have your terrible situation in missouri there. On top of that we found out hello kitty not even a cat. Its not a cat. Hello kitty is apparently just a third grader who lives in london and [bleeped] in a sandy box or i dont know. [laughter] my point is this, we could really use some good news right about now. Texas governor rick perry plans to be in New Hampshire friday on the way to a possible run for president in 2016. Jon hallelujah. And the lord did tell him to run and he does. That means he wont be in austin, texas, for his arraignment on untilny charges. Jon what . No you cant just give this to me and then just take it away. What kind of cruel god are you . It wasnt the typical booking at the Travis County courthouse tuesday night, and it wasnt the typical mugshot, a smirking sitting governor of texas. Jon i got to tell you, thats an olan mill ....

New York , United States , Travis County , District Of Columbia , City Of , United Kingdom , Oscar Mayer , David Hasselhoff , Jason Jones , Ruth Marcus , John Oliver , Shaquille Oneal , Al Qaeda , Rick Perry , Jon Stewart , Hello Kitty , Good News , New Hampshire , Travis County District , County District , Public Integrity , Cancer Research , Air Force , Love Child , David Hasselhoffs , Look Like ,