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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

This would also include some punishment. It would include 100 hours of community service, an Education Course about prostitution, and a screening for stds. [laughter] a screening for stds . Like, what is all of this . Rich people get deals that ive never heard of. Admit you would have been found guilty and well let you go . [bleep] outta here, man [laughter] at least make him admit it in a room full of eagles fans, then well see some punishment, you know . This is insane well only let you go if youre guilty what . Like, rich people are already living in another world. And also, he has to take an Education Course about prostitution . [laughter] uh, if youve read the reports, he should be the professor, okay . [laughter] the guy has handson experience, if you know what i mean. The College Admissions scandal. For the past few weeks, the whole country has been rocked by the news that hundreds of parents have been accused of bribing their kids way into americas elite colleges, and also usc.

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

But the reality is, some of us dont even get a look at the basket. Because theres nothing more expensive. Than being broke. Wow. That was beautiful. Hmm. Sometimes in court, i actually learn something, feel something. Today is one of those days. 60 days in jail, sentence suspended based on time served. Go home. But i had a clean record. I dont care. But i do, your honor. [ crowd gasping ] before you render judgment, i have one thing i have to say. Nay, two things. Firstly, i bested adam bethune in a tennis match. Take that, Bethune Bethune the buffoon mr. Gayle . If yall knew him, yall would be dying right now. Secondly, my former client inspired me with his words earlier today that were, my life is on the line, homey i aint say no shit like that. It was something in that vein. Heres the point. It reminded me of a previous case where someone elses life was on the line colby v. Hughes. Oh, jesus. Thats right. Prosecution failed to introduce the actual tickets into evidence. The case sho

Sentencing Law and Policy: Booker in district courts

Sentencing Law and Policy: Booker in district courts
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