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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240712

Yo no. The tiger one immediately fell in love. They were born in the alley, by the way. Seth okay. Their mom was, you know, attacked by some guy cat and then she had eight babies, but the other six ran away so chit chat and my way chose to stay with the mom and say what are we going to do now . Announcer tonight on late night with seth meyers. [ laughter ] Wendy Williams and then the rescue found them i know, its funny, but this is host of the pursuit of healthiness, nba star my story for you Blake Griffin, seth technically, its their music from yola. Story. [ laughter ] can i ask real quick so featuring the 8g band with sonny emory. Chit chat and my way are siblings, theyre related . And now seth meyers. Yes two sisters from the same area seth welcome to late night. I hope youre all well this seth wow evening. And do they get along . Do they have a natural, you and this is our fifth show back know, comfort with each other . In the studio. And obviously i dont have to tell you were doi

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

This would also include some punishment. It would include 100 hours of community service, an Education Course about prostitution, and a screening for stds. [laughter] a screening for stds . Like, what is all of this . Rich people get deals that ive never heard of. Admit you would have been found guilty and well let you go . [bleep] outta here, man [laughter] at least make him admit it in a room full of eagles fans, then well see some punishment, you know . This is insane well only let you go if youre guilty what . Like, rich people are already living in another world. And also, he has to take an Education Course about prostitution . [laughter] uh, if youve read the reports, he should be the professor, okay . [laughter] the guy has handson experience, if you know what i mean. The College Admissions scandal. For the past few weeks, the whole country has been rocked by the news that hundreds of parents have been accused of bribing their kids way into americas elite colleges, and also usc.

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

But the reality is, some of us dont even get a look at the basket. Because theres nothing more expensive. Than being broke. Wow. That was beautiful. Hmm. Sometimes in court, i actually learn something, feel something. Today is one of those days. 60 days in jail, sentence suspended based on time served. Go home. But i had a clean record. I dont care. But i do, your honor. [ crowd gasping ] before you render judgment, i have one thing i have to say. Nay, two things. Firstly, i bested adam bethune in a tennis match. Take that, Bethune Bethune the buffoon mr. Gayle . If yall knew him, yall would be dying right now. Secondly, my former client inspired me with his words earlier today that were, my life is on the line, homey i aint say no shit like that. It was something in that vein. Heres the point. It reminded me of a previous case where someone elses life was on the line colby v. Hughes. Oh, jesus. Thats right. Prosecution failed to introduce the actual tickets into evidence. The case sho

Transcripts For KNTV Late 20240703

Neal brennan, cooking with chef george motz, featuring the 8g band with andy hurley. [ cheers and applause ] and now, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre all doing well. And now, if you dont mind, were going to get to the news. President biden announced a plan yesterday to reduce Student Loan Debt for 25 million borrowers. And in typical democratic fashion, he did it during the eclipse. [ laughter ] when are you going to announce universal health care, 11 59 on new years eve . [ laughter ] President Biden yesterday attacked former President Trump over his stance on abortion. To be fair, trumps stance is always bad. [ laughter ] he looks like hes being pushed by a ghost. [ laughter ] thats right, President Biden attacked former President Trump over his stance on abortion, which trump describes as dont ask, dont tell. [ light laughter ] after former President Trump said yesterday he does not support a National Abortion ban, President Biden to

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20171221

So soon after harvey. You know, luckily for americans though, the president is there with his soothing and poetic words. Theres a new and seems to be recordbreaking hurricane heading right towards florida and puerto rico and other places. Well see what happens. Well know in a very short period of time, but it looks like it could be something that will be not good. Believe me, not good. Got it. Not good. Okay. Yeah. I hope donald trump does the eulogy at my funeral. Trevor, trevor was a man. As you know, victims in texas are in need of relief funding. At roughly 12 30 p. M. Eastern daylight time, a true miracle took place. The thing you would never expect to happen actually happened. Donald trump made a deal. Fox news alert for you. Aboard air force one, President Trump just announcing that he has reached a bipartisan deal on raising the debt ceiling and funding for victims of hurricane harvey. We had a great meeting with chuck schumer, nancy pelosi, and the whole Republican Leadership

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